Chapter 196

“Cynthia.” Asher’s words rumbled in his chest under my ear. “I would love to repair our bond.”

My heart sprouted wings and flew high. “Okay. Okay, great.”

He held me, and I held him back.

After a moment, I asked, “How do we repair it exactly?”

He paused a moment, as if thinking. “We could start from the beginning.”

“Okay.” I soaked up his warmth for another few seconds, then forced myself to take a step back, away from him.

I lifted my hand up into the new space between us for a handshake.

“Hello. I’m Cynthia.”

Asher laughed a little, flashing a genuine smile that stole my breath away. He was always handsome, but the sight of him happy was almost too much to bear. Like staring directly into the sun.

Asher accepted my handshake with a firm grip.

“Nice to meet you, Cynthia. I’m Asher.”

We shook hands. Somehow, as this happened, we moved closer together again.

I licked my lips. “What happens now?”

His smile softened. “What do you want to happen?”

Looking at him – at the width of shoulders, the column of his neck, the hard line of his jaw – a flash of desire sparked in my core. I knew what I wanted: him. But I didn’t know how to ask for it.

He waited patiently for me to speak. He might have waited forever.

I wouldn’t make him.

“Maybe we should reacquaint our bodies. That might help our bond.”

I blushed, embarrassed by my suggestion, but not ashamed. I would never feel shame for wanting this Adonis of a man.

“I don’t want to push you,” Asher said, hesitant. “After everything you’ve been through, I want you to feel safe.”

“I do feel safe.”

I tried to assuage his worries. Fear had no place here, in the diminishing space between us.

“I have experienced… things… that have devastated me. But I want to reclaim that part of myself. Other people have tried to take too many parts of me. I want those parts back.”

I placed my hand on his chest, palm flat over his thundering heart. He clearly liked the prospect of what I offered as much as I did.

That made me bold.

“I want to reclaim my desire, Asher. Here, where I feel safe. With the person I trust the most.” I trailed my hand up the hard plain of his chest, up to corner of his throat. “With the person I want the most.”

The marks I had made once had long since faded. I wanted to rectify this as soon as possible.

Asher closed his eyes. His breath was heavy.

“You aren’t allowed anything strenuous.” When he opened his eyes again, his eyes burned with a hot blue flame. “But you can tell me what to do. Where you want me. I’ll do anything you want.”

Giving commands didn’t come naturally to me, but this time, it might help. I wanted to reclaim my bodily autonomy, and like this, Asher could help as well as be comforted that he wasn’t be pushing me too far.

“Alright.” I looked across the room. “Help me to the bed, then.”

I was perfectly capable of walking the mere few feet there, but it was much more satisfying – and thrilling – when Asher scooped me up against his chest and carried me, bridal style, instead.

As soon as his neck was in range, I leaned forward and pressed a hot, open-mouth kiss there, eager to replenish my marks.

He huffed a shaky breath. His arms tightened around me.

I had no illusions about what we were doing. Despite our shared wish to rebuild our bond, we weren’t magically back together. This didn’t have to mean anything.

It still did, to me. And maybe, if I dared to hope, it meant something to him too.

But I knew that was only a fool’s dream.

When we reached the bed, he slowly lowered me down. His eyes locked with mine. Beneath the fire, there was something softer.

I wanted to discern what it was, but that could wait until later. If I didn’t get his mouth on me soon, I thought I might combust.

So I tilted my head back, exposing my throat.

Asher licked his lips but waited for my command.

He was staying true to his word then, and letting me lead.

“Leave your mark, Asher.”

Instantly, his mouth descended onto my neck. He sucked and licked at my skin, renewing marks that had faded. He was eager and focused, forming mark after careful mark up the length of my throat.

When I tilted my head the other way, he gave the opposite side equal attention.

“Asher…”

“Guide me, Cyn.”

“Take my shirt off.”

His large hands slipped under my shirt at the waist and slowly lifted it up and up and up. I leaned forward, and he pulled it over my head. He tossed it over his shoulder onto the floor.

“Now, yours,” I said.

His smile quirked. Much quicker than he’d removed mine, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head in one smooth motion. It too was sent flying over his shoulder.

Miles of delicious toned skin were now on display, and my eyes eagerly took my fill.

God, he was so hot.

I swallowed hard. “Now my pants.”

He flicked open the button of my jeans, and then gently eased them down my hips. Soon, they joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

Then he stilled, awaiting my next command.

This one made me nervous. What I wanted tonight was for Asher to touch me as Lamar had threatened, to wipe away the lingering sting of that memory with the pleasure of being loved.

Asher had touched me there before, with my panties in place. This time, I wanted more.

“Asher. My panties.”

He gave me a curious look, as if making sure. My heart could melt in fondness. How gentle he was with me.

At my nod, he lowered his gaze down to my panties. He hooked his thumbs under the waistband and gently eased the panties down. I lifted my hips to help him removed them.

Once they were gone, he stared at my sudden bareness.

I grew a little self-conscious, and started to close my legs.

He placed a hand on my knee, stilling me.

“You are beautiful,” he said, his voice deep with lust. “Cynthia, please tell me you want me to touch you.”

I nodded.

His eyes went wide, his smile eager. He slide his hand around the curve of my thigh, inching closer to my core.

I touched his hand, and he immediately froze.

My cheeks burned in embarrassment, but I forced out the words of what I wanted. “Taste me, too.”

Asher nearly jumped to reposition himself between my legs. Despite my embarrassment, his eagerness made me laugh.

God, I loved him. He had a way to put me immediately at ease. Even when…

“Oh!”

Asher pushed aside my folds with his thumbs, revealing my clit to the cool air for only a second or two before he lowered his mouth and closed his lips around it.

I nearly bucked straight off the bed.

He moved one arm around my waist, keeping me in place.

He was a master with his tongue, lapping and swirling, and driving me absolutely wild.

“A-Asher!”

I clawed at the sheets, trying to hold on, to keep from flying away.

It felt so good. I had never felt like this before.

Asher’s attention was singular and intense. He licked his tongue around my clit with persistence, like he wanted to give me the most amount of pleasure as fast as he could.

Too quickly, I was nearing the peek. I didn’t want to be there alone.

“A-Asher…” I struggled to speak beyond moans and whimpers. But for him, I would do anything. “Touch yourself, Asher. Please. I want you to feel good too, please.”

One of his hands disappeared from my waist, and I heard the telltale sound of a zipper.

Soon, he was groaning against me.

I don’t know how long we continued. Time had no meaning with his hot mouth on my most sensitive nub.

I tried to fight off my orgasm as long as I could, wanting us to come together. But he was too skilled, the pleasure was too great.

Stars burst behind my eyes, and I cried out. “Aa-ah! Asher!”

Then, at once, my entire body went slack, like a puppet with the strings cut.

He lifted his head to watch my face. His eyes were hooded, dark with want.

Not long after, they closed and he bucked into his palm. “Cyn!”

When he’d finished, his gaze found mine again.

I looked back.

An understanding seemed to slip between us.

We’d crossed a beautiful line here, and there would be no going back.

Not for either of us.