Chapter 195

I didn’t understand what was happening.

What could bring a boy as strong as Asher to his knees like this?

Whatever it was had me shaking. “Asher, please…”

I didn’t know how to help him. I felt so powerless.

Yet after two long minutes, he sucked in a deep breath like he could finally breathe again. He was still and silent for a few seconds, before pulling himself up and away from me.

He smoothed down his shirt and cleared his throat. “Sorry for that. I’m fine.”

He acted like it was nothing, but his face remained pale. I wasn’t going to be fooled. Something was definitely wrong with him.

“What just happened?” I wouldn’t let him brush this off – not when it had seemed like I’d almost lost him to some invisible force.

His shoulders slumped a little, and suddenly he looked so very tired.

“Not here,” he said.

Together we walked back to his dorm room. He was alert, likely looking for Joseph around every corner. But my focus was entirely fixed on Asher himself.

What if he collapsed again?

“Maybe you should go to the hospital and get checked out.”

He shook his head. “There is no medical cure for what’s wrong with me.”

What did that mean? What kind of illness didn’t have a cure?

Was he… dying?

“Asher.” My voice choked.

“I’m okay, Cynthia. I promise. It’s not fatal.”

“But…”

I couldn’t stand the thought of him being in so much pain, with no way to relieve it. My heart felt like it was breaking.

Asher didn’t say another word until we were safely back in his dorm room with the door closed and locked behind us.

I couldn’t stand his silence beyond that point, so I squared my posture, crossed my arms, and leveled him with a no-nonsense look. I wasn’t going to take any more evasive answers.

“Tell me what is happening.”

“It’s the mating bond.”

He glanced away from me, down to the ground, as if embarrassed, though his face was carefully neutral.

“Our mating bond. When we split, it affected me. Severely, as you’ve seen. Though that was the worst attack I’ve ever had. Usually it doesn’t last that long.”

The mating bond? But my attacks had only felt like sudden bouts of heartburn. How could his be so much worse?

“Aimee told me that you’ve been having attacks too,” he said.

“Mine are never this bad.”

He nodded. “It’s because I’m an Alpha. The bond…” He cleared his throat. “We feel it… stronger… than others.”

I blushed. I wasn’t sure if Alphas feeling the bond in a stronger way than others meant that their affections for their mate were also stronger. I was too afraid to ask.

I would hate if the answer was no.

“None of this is your fault, Cynthia,” Asher said. “You can’t help how I’ve come to care for you.”

“I didn’t know it was so bad for you. You never said anything. You always seemed okay. I thought…” It seemed so foolish to admit now, in the face of such obvious evidence to the contrary. “I thought the bond was unrequited.”

“It’s not.”

Such a simple response, but so apt. My whole body filled with warmth, and the pieces of my heart that had never quite fit back together after Asher and I split were finally mending.

I felt closer to Asher than I ever had before, knowing he cared for me like I cared for him.

I still wasn’t sure his feelings for me were romantic, but that he felt something – anything – brought me tremendous comfort.

This, I believed, was why I had to the courage to finally tell Asher what Joseph had threatened.

“Joseph said if I didn’t forget about the club, he would send the investigators after me. And, if we somehow managed to convince them I don’t have projection, then…” My voice broke. “He said he could easily have me and the baby killed.”

Asher’s entire body tensed, tight as a coiled spring about to pop. His hands formed fists. His eyes were a blizzard. His mouth was a hard line.

“He will never touch you or your child.” Asher’s assuredness was ever a comfort. “Any investigators or killers that come for you will have to go through me.”

I wasn’t ready to think about murderers, but the investigators were a pressing issue. They had my blood. I half expected them to track me down any day now.

I had told Joseph that he wouldn’t be able to convince the investigators to lock me up without proof, but the truth of it was getting more and more difficult to hide.

“Remember when I accidentally projected Lamar?”

Asher gave a curt nod.

“It’s been happening more and more, whenever I’m scared. I won’t even be thinking of him, but my fear seems to trigger him, like terror and Lamar are interwoven in my mind.”

I covered my face with my hands. “What if the investigators see, Asher? How will I cover it up? And if they don’t kidnap me, then Joseph might kill me.”

“That will never happen.” He stepped toward me. I could feel the heat emanating from his body.

Though his closeness and his words were steadying, what if he got hurt trying to protect me?

This wasn’t some school bully on a power trip. This was government researchers who wanted to lock me away. Or assassins who meant to kill me.

“I don’t know what to do. This isn’t like when I accidentally made apparitions of you because I missed you. I can’t just stop being afraid.”

Asher sucked in a sharp breath, a faint barely-there noise. “You missed me enough to unintentionally project me?”

I felt like he was missing the bigger issue here, but… “Yes. It helped me, seeing you. Sometimes you even talked to me.”

“What did I say?”

“Asher.”

He stepped even closer to me. He rested his hands gently on my shoulders. “We’ll get through this, Cynthia.”

“How? We can’t even go to Nurse Irene for more information, with those investigators hovering around. I’m totally on my own.”

“No, you aren’t. Look at me.”

At his insistence, I lowered my hands and lifted my head.

His blue gaze was focused and steady. Looking at him, I felt myself adrift on gentle ocean waves. But I wasn’t lost. I wasn’t alone.

He was right there with me.

“You don’t have to face any of this on your own,” he said. “I’m right here with you. And I’m not going anyway ever again.”

“Oh, Asher.” I rushed forward, pressing myself against him. I turned my ear to his chest, and listened to his heartbeat. My own pounded in rhythm, like we were bonded once more.

Inside my mind, Lilith purred in satisfaction. “The bond is healing. And we are growing stronger.”

“Stronger how?” I asked inside of my mind.

“Do you not feel it? Fear has controlled your heart for so long, it has left your talents in disarray. But with Asher here, and the bond reforming, you are regaining your strength.”

Regaining my strength…? Did that mean…?

“So Asher might be the key to solving my accidental projections?”

“Possibly, yes,” Lilith said.

That was good enough for me.

“Asher.”

He hummed, indicating he was listening.

I was a little nervous to ask him, given all we’d been through. But if he meant what he said tonight, then wouldn’t he want me as much as I wanted him?

My heart beat faster. Oddly, I heard his beat faster too, keeping sync with mine.

“Asher. How do you feel about rebuilding our bond?”