Chapter 173

Lamar’s upset was reasonable. If Asher had attacked him as viciously as he’d said, I would have to be a terribly insensitive person to ignore that. But the fact was, I doubted Lamar’s story. This had to be some kind of misunderstanding.

Asher had a hair-trigger when it came to protecting me, but he was reasonable otherwise. If Lamar had said, Cynthia’s mine, Asher would have likely been annoyed, but to lash out so aggressively over that alone?

If Asher had attacked Lamar, it must have been because Lamar had done something careless, or because Asher had misinterpreted something Lamar said as a threat.

Cynthia’s mine would not have been enough. Especially after Asher had made a promise to me to restrain himself.

I didn’t want to accuse Lamar of not telling me the full story, but I couldn’t help it.

I knew Asher. He kept his promises.

To find out the full truth, I needed to hear both sides. That meant talking to Asher.

I couldn’t tell that to Lamar, however. He was furious enough that I was holding onto my feelings for Asher despite Lamar saying he attacked him. He’d be even more upset if knew I intended seek out Asher to ask him about it.

Instead, right now, I had to focus on calming Lamar down, as well as setting a few of his misconceptions straight.

“Even if we put aside my feelings for Asher,” I said, “I still would not be ready for a relationship with anyone. I’m trying to focus on studying right now, remember?”

Lamar exhaled, and some of his tension fell away. He still wasn’t quite himself, no easy smile appeared, but he didn’t seem quite as upset as he had a moment before.

“I remember,” he said. “But you see where I’m coming from, right? Asher is dangerous. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I won’t get hurt.” Asher would never hurt me. Even after our argument, with our friendship broken, I never doubted that for a moment.

“I’d feel better if you avoided him,” Lamar said. “You said you were going to focus on studying, right? If that keeps you from being with me, then it should keep you from seeing him too.”

I didn’t want to lie to Lamar, and I didn’t want to upset him. But I would be talking to Asher about his side of the story, no matter what Lamar thought about it.

“Studying is and will continue to be my first priority,” I said. That wasn’t a lie.

Lamar narrowed his eyes, but didn’t call me out for not directly answering his Asher-related concerns.

We started walking again. Lamar tucked his hands into his pockets and didn’t say anything else.

Later, in the afternoon, Nicole came over and we studied in my dorm room. I was stuck on one of the newer topics, but Nicole was able to break it down into simpler chunks for me to understand.

We sat on the floor, backs against the side of my bed, passing a text book back and forth to each other.

During a break, I told her what happened with Lamar. I left nothing out, including how when I got the text, I had thought it was Asher.

Nicole shook her head. “Cynthia.”

“I know.”

She was quiet a moment, like she was thinking over everything I had said.

“For the record,” she said, when that moment passed, “Asher does have a wild side. He’s been close to shifting before, and you are the only one who can ever calm him down.”

I nodded. Asher’s wolf always seemed soothed by my presence.

“So,” Nicole continued. “If you weren’t there, and Asher got angry, it’s possible that he could have lashed out.”

“He promised me he would restrain his wolf and not attack Lamar.”

Even if he hadn’t promised me, I would still doubt.

Asher wasn’t some mindless animal, even when his wolf came to the surface. Every time I had seen his wolf take over had been in instances where Asher was protecting me.

He wouldn’t just attack someone.

“Yeah, but if he lost control, would he have a choice? Asher made that promise, not his wolf. The wolf would just react.”

“React to what, though?” I countered. “According to Lamar, the only thing he said was, ‘Cynthia’s mine.’”

“Asher’s possessive.”

Asher did get jealous easily, but, “Not enough to hurt people. Unless they threaten me.”

Nicole frowned. “You think Lamar said something else to Asher? Like a threat against you?”

“I don’t know. None of this makes sense.” It was possible Lamar was holding back, not telling me the full truth to make himself look better in the situation. “I need to talk to Asher.”

Nicole hummed but didn’t say anything else. Her gaze dropped down to the textbook.

It was unusual for her to clam up like this with me, so I prompted, “Nicole?”

“You won’t like what I have to say,” she said.

“I still want to hear it.” When she didn’t reply right away, I added, “You are one of my dearest friends. I value your opinion, no matter what it is. Even if we don’t agree.”

Nicole exhaled a deep breath. Then she looked up and met my eyes again. Hers were a little sad.

“You are acting like you are dating Asher,” she said.

I blinked, surprised. “I haven’t gone on a date with Asher since the breakup.”

“I’m not talking physically. I mean mentally. Emotionally.” Nicole crossed her arms. “You are so quick to defend Asher, even at the expense of the guy you are actually dating. You took Asher’s side immediately. Did you even hear Lamar out?”

“I did but I…” I couldn’t really argue with most of what she was saying. I had been immediately suspicious of Lamar.

But someone had hit him, even if it hadn’t been Asher. Instead of concentrating on Lamar’s pain, I had focused on clearing Asher’s name.

I lowered my head, defenseless and ashamed.

“You still love Asher. That’s no secret,” Nicole said. “But you are letting your feelings cloud your judgement.”

She was right. My feelings for Asher were so strong, I’m not sure I would believe anything bad said about him.

Even so, I knew deep down in my heart that attacking Lamar unprovoked was not something he would do.

“I could have handled it better with Lamar, but I know Asher wouldn’t do this.”

“You keep saying that, Cynthia. How can you be so sure?”

I had no proof, only a feeling. A trust that had built up between the two of us over the past few months. Asher had hurt me, but I still felt like I knew him.

He wasn’t an animal. He wouldn’t just go on a rampage without just cause.

I thought of him then: of the intensity of his icy gaze, of the way he sometimes let his true self shine through the veneer he too-often hid behind, of the little smiles he’d give only to me.

I could almost hear the way he said my name, “Cynthia.”

“Holy shit!” Nicole gasped. She scrambled over the bed, falling down on the far side of it. She peeked over the top. “What the hell is that?”

Beside me, watching me, was an apparition of Asher. He glowed warmly.

My immediate pleasure at seeing him vanished when I realized what I had done.

I hadn’t meant to project him, but he was here. And Nicole…

“Cynthia?” Nicole hissed from her hiding spot behind the couch.

Nicole had seen.