Chapter 169

“I can’t believe the nerve of that guy.” Lamar’s smile was shaky, his words unkind. “I’d always liked Asher before. He always seemed so smooth, like nothing could frazzle him. I never realized he’d be such a sore loser.”

We sat in the ice cream parlor Lamar had suggested. The establishment itself was nice, with cheerful music and bright colored walls. Students and a few older couples filled the tables.

Lamar stabbed at his hot-fudge sundae with his spoon. He hadn’t actually taken a bite yet.

I hadn’t touched my milkshake either, but it wasn’t melting all over the table like Lamar’s sundae.

My fear sat in my belly like a lead weight. My hands shook so hard that I gripped onto my knees, holding on through the trembling.

Lamar didn’t seem to notice any of this, too annoyed by Asher’s protective behavior.

“He was like an animal,” Lamar said.

Even with the weight of my fear, I couldn’t hold back my defensive reflex. “He thought you were threatening me.”

Lamar scoffed. “And didn’t even take a minute to figure out the truth of it. Face it, Cynthia, Asher is a ruthless, cold-hearted –”

“No, he is not. Is he overprotective? Yes. Overbearing? Sure. But he’s also compassionate. Considerate. He always walked me home to make sure I got home safe, and he –”

“You sound like you’re still his girlfriend.”

I snapped my mouth shut.

“I knew you were in love with him, but I didn’t realize he had pulled the wool over your eyes quite so far.”

I shook my head. “What we had was… special. It’ll take time to move on. I told you that.”

“Yeah, I mean, I get it. But it feels like… how do I say this?”

He pushed his ice cream to the side and placed his hands on their sides on the table. “In that hallway, there were two sides. Asher’s.” He lifted his right hand. “And mine.” He lifted the left.

“And you.” He motioned toward the salt shaker. “You made your choice.” Using his right hand, he snatched the salt shaker. “You picked him, Cynthia. And I feel like you will always pick him, no matter what I do or say.”

That hardly seemed fair. In that hallway, as I recalled, I had kept Asher from attacking Lamar. I had protected Lamar, and then left with him.

“I’m here with you now,” I said, irritation keeping the fear at bay for now, though I still felt it clawing under my skin, trying to reclaim my attention.

Lamar exhaled, then gave me a sad smile. “You said you would try harder with us, Cynthia. You brought me cookies.”

I hadn’t forgotten my promise, but… maybe he was right. I felt like I had chosen him a lot, especially by going to his room instead of Asher’s tonight like I had really wanted. But from his perspective… maybe I really wasn’t trying enough.

“I think it might be time to call this off,” I said.

Lamar immediately straightened. “What?”

“I’m making you unhappy.” I could see it in him. Before tonight, I had rarely seen him frown. He always wore a bright smile. That I was dimming his joy was not something I could allow.

“I never said that. I’m not saying that at all. I just mean… Well, we can both try harder. You can keep moving on from him, and I’ll try harder to be the kind of man you deserve.”

I wasn’t so sure. His misery seemed assured, and I didn’t want to be responsible for that.

Yet, for the next half-hour, he was adamant we could make it work, and I was too tired and too worried to argue against him.

So when he asked, “We still on for Friday?” I could only nod.

After ice cream, I said goodnight to Lamar and retreated to my room. I had thought before that being alone would cause me distress, but after spending so much time defending Asher and myself against Lamar, I decided that I preferred the solitude and silence.

I’d only been in the room long enough to change into my pajamas when there was a knock on my door.

I really hoped it wasn’t Lamar. I wasn’t prepared for a round two with him.

The thought that it could be one of the investigators that Nurse Irene had talked about gave me pause. Would they have been able to track me down this fast?

That seemed unlikely.

The person knocked again, three loud steady sounds.

I called through the door. “Who is it?”

“Asher.”

At once, I opened the lock and pulled open the door.

Asher seemed calmer than he had before. I wondered what had happened, to ease him. Had he worked out again? But he wasn’t wearing workout clothes.

“May I come in?” he asked.

I nodded and let him inside, then closed the door behind him.

“I talked to Nurse Irene,” he said.

Oh. “You did? How? When?”

“After you and Lamar left, I called Nancy. Then she passed me to Irene.”

“You called my nurses?”

This was an invasion of my privacy. I should have been angry. This was another example of Asher’s controlling nature. He didn’t like the answers I had given, so he searched for new ones.

I should have been furious.

But I wasn’t.

“I’ll never apologize for trying to protect you,” Asher said.

I huffed a breath. “You can’t just say you were worried?”

“I was terrified,” he said, and my mouth snapped shut. “I thought something happened to the baby.”

My heart melted a little, mending old scars. “Asher.”

I didn’t know what to say, or how to deal with the mess of emotions inside of me. Fear, pain, anger, sadness, hope. I felt one after the next too quickly to discern.

“Nurse Irene told me what’s going on.” He stepped closer.

His closeness soothed my more negative feelings, as well as my panic. Asher was safety, and safety was here.

“She also told me that she doesn’t know who reported the situation to the researchers,” Asher said, “But she thinks it’s someone who might want to hurt you.”

Fear clawed new marks inside of me. I leaned into Asher’s space. His arm brushed against mine, and suddenly I could keep breathing.

“Do you have any reason to suspect Lamar?” Asher asked. Softer, he added, “I will trust whatever you tell me.”

Lamar? I frowned. “No. Things… are complicated with him, but I don’t think he’d want to hurt me.”

Sure, he’d done some things to make me uncomfortable, but to actually place me in danger? That seemed too farfetched.

Instead a more prominent threat came to mind.

You will regret this.

“Joseph, then,” Asher said before I could.

I nodded, but there were things Asher didn’t know. He couldn’t, because I had made him leave the soccer team’s after-party before Joseph had approached me.

Briefly, I told Asher what happened: how Joseph came up to me, how he praised Lamar before turning mean.

“He wants to take the baby away from me.” I circled my arms protectively around my growing belly. “But I don’t think he’s doing it so he can be a father. He wants to give the baby to his parents to raise.”

Asher stiffened. I looked up and his eyes were a torrential downpour, a hurricane of fury.

His muscles tensed. His fingers curled.

Joseph wasn’t even in the room and Asher looked like he was about to rage-shift into wolf form.

“It’s okay.” I touched his arm, trying to soothe him. “Asher.”

He shook his head once.

Voice low and deadly, he growled, “No one will take my family from me.”