Chapter 166

After running into Asher outside of the library, I decided that Aimee had been right. Boys were complicated and confusing, and it was much easier to focus solely on studying.

I avoided both Asher and Lamar, and when not in class, mostly stuck to studying in my room.

For a few days, things had been peaceful enough. No awkward run-ins, no accidental projections, no photographed kisses.

Then, one afternoon when I had settled in for a long study session at my desk, a knock sounded at my door. Nicole and Aimee had been coming by to help me, but they always texted first.

I wasn’t expecting anyone right now.

Pushing away from my desk, I crossed my room to the door and pulled it open.

Lamar stood on the other side, holding a bouquet of wildflowers.

“Hey, Cynthia,” he said, smiling.

The sight of flowers sent memories flashing through my mind, of my room filled to the brim with roses, one of Joseph’s many insincere apologies.

Joseph and Lamar were on the same soccer team. Had Joseph given Lamar the idea?

I tried to push away the thought. It seemed ridiculous. Lamar had already said he and Joseph weren’t friends, and that Lamar only humored him to maintain the peace.

It had to be a coincidence.

“I know, it’s strange. Usually you are the one apologizing.” Lamar laughed. “But I messed up. I moved too fast, and I’m sorry. I’m okay with going slow.”

He held out the flowers. Slowly, I accepted them.

“We don’t have to kiss,” he said. “Or touch, even. Whatever you want is what I want too. I mean it.”

“These are beautiful,” I said, sniffing the flowers. “But I don’t know, Lamar… I’m not really mad. I just… I want to focus on studying right now.”

“I understand,” he said. “And I fully support you.”

“Thank you,” I said.

He nodded.

After a moment, I nodded too. “Well, if that’s everything…”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

I glanced over my shoulder, at my textbooks open on my desk. “I have a lot to study…”

“I miss you,” he said.

My gaze snapped back to him. His smile was soft and his eyes a little sad.

“I like being near you, even if we don’t talk. I can just hang out while you study. Do my own thing.” He lifted one shoulder, then let it drop. “I want to exist in your space for a while.”

My feelings for Lamar were still small budding bulbs, not yet bloomed into flowers. Yet I was not unaffected by the sweetness of his request.

If Asher had said those words to me, I would be a gooey puddle on the floor. Even with Lamar, I felt a bit shaky.

“Okay,” I said. “But I won’t be able to pay you much attention. I really have to concentrate.”

“I understand.”

As I stepped back, he bounced into my room. Immediately, he kicked off his shoes and flopped down onto my bed with his phone in hand.

I closed the door, then walked to my desk. I had to place my back to Lamar, but I didn’t think he’d hurt me. My nervousness was not warranted.

I placed the wildflowers on the edge of the desk and sat down.

I read through one paragraph of my textbook, when a sudden burst of laughter from Lamar startled away my focus. It died after a moment, so I didn’t bother saying anything.

When it was quiet again, I reread the paragraph, more fully comprehending it. When I reached an important point, I uncapped my highlighter and pressed it to the page.

Lamar laughed again. Startled, my hand jumped and I traced a yellow line across the full length of my textbook.

“Lamar.” I glanced back at him.

He’d rearranged my pillows to more fully support his back. One of the smaller ones had fallen on the floor.

“Hm?” He looked over. “Oh. Sorry. Was I being too loud?”

“I like your laugh, but it’s distracting.”

“Got it.” He mimicked zipping closed his mouth.

I offered a small smile of thanks and returned to my work. For the next five or so minutes, I delved into the topics of the text. I began writing a new note.

“Hey, Cynthia,” Lamar said.

My pen stilled.

“Yeah?”

“How long are you planning on studying today?”

“The rest of the day, probably. I might break for dinner, after a while.”

“Oh, okay.”

I waited, to see if he’d say more. When a few seconds passed in silence, I felt comfortable writing again. I wrote exactly two more words.

“What are you going to have for dinner?” Lamar asked.

“I’m not sure yet.” I jotted down another word.

“I’m in the mood for tacos tonight.”

“Okay.”

“Do you like guacamole?”

Slowly, I lowered my pen. I’d forgotten what I was writing.

I glanced back at him again. He was watching me with expectation.

“Well?” he asked. “Do you like it?”

“Like what?”

“Guacamole. Oh, oops. Was I talking too much again?”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just really need to focus. Normally, I’d love to talk to you. And I do like guacamole.”

“I get it.” He shifted to the side of the bed and threw his legs over the side. “Maybe we should get tacos later?”

“I’m probably going to order in,” I said.

“Raincheck, then?”

“Sure.”

He paused before standing. When he pushed himself to his feet, he said, “You aren’t kicking me out because you’re done with me, right?”

I stood too, surprised by the suggestion. “It’s not like that. I swear I’m just trying to study.”

He nodded. “So then, you will go out with me again? Sometime soon? Like, Friday?”

I blinked. I had intended to not date anyone until after the exam, but Lamar was looking at me with a sad little smile and eyes filled with hope. I also felt bad for making him leave.

“Okay. Friday.”

His smile brightened. “Great.”

I walked him to the door.

He didn’t ask for another kiss. He didn’t even come in for a hug. Instead he held out his hand like he wanted to shake mine.

I reasoned that he must have been trying to respect my boundaries, and placed my hand in his.

Yet instead of shaking it, he brought it to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

“See you on Friday,” he said into my skin, then he released me. Smile wide, he turned and left the room.

I closed the door, exhaled, and returned to my desk, suddenly exhausted.

A kiss on the hand was peak romance. Lamar had many good moves. He wasn’t perfect but who was?

I needed to be okay. I needed to appreciate his romantic gestures.

I needed to stop missing Asher.

I studied the rest of the day, breaking only to order food and then to eat it. By eight, my mind was tired and easily distracted. I was still at my desk, with my textbooks opened in front of me, but now my phone was on top of them as I scrolled through social media.

Then my phone rang, a call from Nurse Irene.

It was strange for her to call so late, but she tended to be unpredictable. I didn’t think much of it. Maybe she discovered something that would help me and wanted to let me know as soon as possible.

I answered the call. “Hello?”

“Cynthia. Are you somewhere safe?”

I sat up straighter. The curt bite of her words wasn't anything new, but the urgent speed she used to speak them certainly was.

“I’m in my room,” I said.

“Good. Listen. Someone has reported me to the official researchers at the research facility.”

“What?” My breath caught. Terror coiled around my heart.

“A whole slew of investigators just showed up here. They are looking into me, trying to find out what I know about a possible person with the projection ability.”

I clutched the phone tighter, to keep my hands from shaking.

“Cynthia. They are looking for you.”