Chapter 16

Can we talk again about our baby?

Hand shaking, I tried and failed several times to compose a response. What did Joseph mean by this? Did he actually want to be a part of the baby’s life now, or was he trying again to get me to abort the baby?

I wanted to believe in him. My baby deserved a caring family.

But he’d betrayed my trust before…

“He will not protect us,” my wolf, Lilith, hissed in my mind.

I knew that was the truth of it. No one could ever be as protective as Asher. Joseph already had and lost his chance to step up. But Asher didn’t want me. Joseph…

Well, Joseph might have changed his mind.

“He tried to hurt you and the child,” Lilith spoke with angry hatred. “I will never forgive him.”

To appease Lilith, I closed the message without a reply.

“I can’t hide from him forever,” I said.

But Lilith replied, “He does not deserve your attention.”

At cheerleading practice, I followed the others in the latest routine, observed by the coach. The basic moves were as simple as ever, and I completed them without issue. Some of the more complicated moves, however…

My kicks weren’t quite as high as they used to be. My splits weren’t as low. My spins were not as fast.

The coach stopped the routine three times to call me out. On the fourth, he let it proceed despite my being a half-step behind the others.

Between the sideways glances of my fellow cheerleaders and the sighs of the coach, I knew everyone noticed my mistakes.

In trying to protect my baby, I was falling behind.

I worked hard after that to close the gap, but I still wasn’t as good as I used to be.

By the end of practice, the other cheerleaders were at the end of their rope. So the moment the coach ducked out of the gymnasium, they surrounded me.

“God, do you enjoy wasting other people’s time?” one of them said to me, hands on her hips. I understood her anger. My slowness was bringing the whole team down.

“You used to be so much better than this, Cynthia,” another, kinder one said. She sounded more concerned than upset. “What happened?”

“Oh? Didn’t she tell you?” Elena said, smirking. “She’s been drinking a lot lately. It must be hard to perform while when you’re hungover all the time.”

The kind one’s face hardened, all concern vanished.

I immediately regretted telling Elena that lie. I should have known she’d use it against me.

“It’s not like that,” I said at once. “I’m just having an off-day.” But that was a lie, too. If I continued to protect my baby like this, then I’d never be as good as I once was, no matter how hard I tried.

But I wasn’t going to give up. I might not be able to be as good as I had been, but I could still keep up. I wouldn’t embarrass them.

“Keep stumbling like this and you’ll never make it,” someone said.

“She doesn’t deserve to be here now.”

“I’m trying,” I said, curling my shoulders inward.

“Well, try harder!”

“I will… I swear I will…”

“That’s enough!” someone shouted. A freshman stepped forward to my side, puncturing a hole in the perfect circle the other cheerleaders had formed around me. “She deserves to be here as much as anyone else.”

I recognized her. Nicole. We hadn’t spoken much but she was new, like me.

“What does a freshman know?” someone sneered.

“Everyone makes mistakes sometimes,” Nicole said, not backing down.

The other cheerleaders slowly moved off to the side. They’d been expecting an easy target, not someone who’d fight back. They still complained about me, but more to each other now, than to my face.

Nicole stayed by my side as I finished packing my gear into my bag. Then she walked with me to the door, glaring at the other girls behind us.

“Thank you,” I told her at the door.

She smiled at me. “Friends stick together.”

I blinked. Friends?

I didn’t feel we really knew each other well enough for that, but the idea of it still made me happy.

I returned her smile and nodded.

Friday evening, I stood in the hockey arena. In my cheerleader uniform, the group of us supported the hockey team from the stands near the student section.

The Lunarhaven Academy hockey team was one of the area’s finest. Even though it was just a student team, they were so good they often scrimmaged against professional teams. As such, they regularly drew a huge crowd.

They were the pride of Lunarhaven Academy, and Asher was their captain.

The crowd went wild for him. Especially the girls.

Many wore jerseys with his number. A few had custom-made t-shirts with his face on them. Asher’s fangirls was written in pink, curly font.

I’d heard Asher was good, but seeing him on the ice with my own two eyes was a completely different matter.

He was faster than anyone else, tearing across the rink like he owned it. The ultimate playmaker, he set up passes and shots that led to valiant attempts at scoring, if not actual assists and goals.

Just watching him, I could tell he was in his glory here, even with the large crowd. He fought with a competitive ferocity, driving the puck into enemy territory, while fiercely defending his own half of the ice.

He protected his teammates in ways that made my heart lurch, pulling apart scuffs and stepping in when the other team became too aggressive.

The cameras tracked his every move, displaying him prominently on the center scoreboard. I watched him play after play. I cheered his name louder than the rest.

In the moments when he was off the ice, my eyes sought him out on the home bench. Every time, I found him looking up at me.

From this distance, he could have been looking at any number of cheerleaders, but I knew, deep in my heart, it was me he stared at in the crowd.

After he had found me that first time, his eyes kept returning to me at every available moment. After the whistle, he looked up at me. When he just scored, he turned to me, even as his teammates tackled into him.

And at the game’s end, when the final buzzer blared, and we’d won, his attention came back to me.

So proud of him, I smiled wide, clapped, and cheered his name.

His gaze dropped and he ducked his head away from me, and from the cameras.

Around me, a chant of Asher’s name had begun. He was the reason we’d won the game. He deserved the praise.

Pleasure rose like butterflies within me, almost as if they were calling my own name.

I was just so proud. Everyone was cheering for my Asher. He worked so hard, and he was so talented, and –

Wait.

My Asher? Who was I to be thinking of him so possessively?

My smile fell at once. I stopped my hands mid-clap.

How easy it was to fall into the fantasy of being more to him than I was. He didn’t belong to me. We weren’t even friends.

His eyes found mine again, but everything felt different this time. Instead of pride, I burned with shame.

His brow lifted. Watching him, I swore he mouthed my name.

I squeezed my eyes shut, no longer trusting them. I had to be imagining the hint of concern on his face. He would never show such an emotion so openly, especially not for me.

I was just his best friend’s sister.

And he would never be mine.