Chapter 149

The boy who had defended me confidentially sauntered across the hallway, stopping when he had come to stand directly before me.

“I hope you don’t let their ignorance bother you,” he said.

I checked twice behind me, to make sure there wasn’t someone there that he was actually talking to. But it was just us two. He had to be speaking to me.

“I’m Lamar,” he said. His smile was kind and seemed to come easy, unlike Asher, where every lift of his lips felt hard-earned. There was something refreshing talking to someone who wanted to be this friendly.

I was immediately suspicious. “Are you sure you want to talk to me? I’m trouble, if you believe the rumors.”

He laughed. “God, those rumors are outrageous. I can’t believe anyone bothers with them. A woman who has autonomy over her body?” He placed a hand over his heart. “Perish the thought!” Another laugh. “That’s why I hope you don’t let it bother you.”

“It doesn’t,” I half-lied. Some rumors were easier to ignore than others.

“I don’t know what Joseph’s problem is, but hopefully he smartens up soon. It’s not like he has the cleanest reputation, so it’s hypocritical to try to drag someone else’s through the mud.”

I agreed. But to hear someone else say so, and so casually, startled me. Everyone always seemed to give Joseph the benefit of the doubt, even after he proved he didn’t deserve it. Repeatedly.

“People need to respect each other more, don’t you think?” he asked. When I didn’t answer right away, his smile began to falter. He was very expressive. “I didn’t offend you, did I? You okay?”

I didn’t know what kind of face I was making. Surprise, probably, coupled with confusion. Lamar seemed to have walked straight out of my dreams.

If only Asher felt the way Lamar did about things. I wondered for a minute, wildly, if I could get the two of them together to talk.

Maybe Lamar could convince Asher to see things differently.

That was a foolish thought, and I pushed it away. Though not before the mental image of Asher could sting my heart once more.

When I realized Lamar was patiently waiting for me to reply, I said, “No, you didn’t offend me. I’m okay. Just surprised. Not many people share your opinions.”

“Yeah, well, a lot of people are wrong.” He laughed again. His good mood helped lift mine, if only a little. “It sounds like you need more good people in your life, Cynthia.”

No argument there. “I do.”

His smile turned boyish, ramping up in charm. “Maybe we should hang out sometime, then. If you want.”

My good mood plummeted. “I’m not dating anyone right now.”

“Okay.” Lamar’s smile didn’t waver this time. He genuinely seemed fine with my reply. “Then what do you say? Do you want to be friends?”

He startled me into silence again. What an unusual person, to recover from a rejection so quickly. But… I liked that. Maybe he would be a good friend. I could always use more of those.

“Friends,” I said, and he smiled wider.

“Friends.” He held out his hand and we sealed our new friendship with a handshake.

Later, I went to the hospital for Nurse Irene’s experiments. Today, she drew a tiny bit of blood. Then we focused on demonstrations.

This time, however, I couldn’t seem to hold any projection, even of Asher. Maybe especially of Asher.

After my third and best attempt, where I managed to hold onto Asher’s apparition for all of three seconds, I huffed out an exhausted breath.

Nurse Irene wrote down a few notes before looking at me. “Did something happen between you and Asher?”

I decided to play dumb, pretending it wasn’t obvious. “What makes you say that?”

“I didn’t see him in the waiting room,” Irene said. “Plus…” She waved at the empty space where the apparition of Asher had briefly stood.

“We… had a disagreement.” I didn’t want to get into the full truth with Irene, but from her long-suffering groan, I assumed she had gathered enough of it on her own.

“You are going to have to make up.” Shaking her head, Nurse Irene scribbled down a few more notes with increasing ferocity. “Before my research starts to suffer.”

“That’s not possible,” I said, trying to ignore the lingering hurt that always revealed itself when I thought of Asher or our breakup. Which was often. Even here, it felt so strange to be here knowing Asher wasn’t waiting for me out in the lobby.

I wanted him to be there.

“Your body doesn’t lie, Cynthia. Nor does your projection ability.” Nurse Irene flipped to a new page of her notebook. “Asher is your match. That’s why he’s always been easiest for you to project.”

“Not anymore.”

“You have to fix it.”

“There is no fixing it,” I said, more firmly.

Asher had hurt me, and I couldn’t just overlook that, even if he apologized, which he still hadn’t done. I knew because I had been checking my phone every half-hour or so since the moment I left his dorm room, with only a couple hours here and there for sleep.

No texts. No calls.

But then, I hadn’t made any either.

“Cynthia.” Irene placed her notebook aside. She peered at me over the frame of her glasses. “You are forming a mating bond with Asher.”

“It’s broken.”

“It’s not that simple. You can’t just cut that kind of bond in half, like with scissors. It will take time. And it will be painful. Your body will have to reorient itself to his sudden absence.”

I didn’t want to believe her, but I didn’t have any reason not to. Nurse Irene had questionable methods at the best of times, but she was still a nurse. As such, she knew more about mating bonds than me. Though honestly, I didn’t know all that much anyway.

After all, I’d only known mating bonds were for life for Alphas after Asher had told me.

Asher had said he was forming one with me, but I still wasn’t sure if that was the truth. I hoped it wasn’t now, so at least one of us could get out of the apparently incoming pain of separation.

“Is there some way to speed up the process?” I asked Irene. If I could break the bond quicker, then maybe thinking of Asher wouldn’t hurt so much.

Among other reasons, I had to focus on studying now and he was a distraction. Since he didn’t believe in me, I didn’t want to waste time dreaming of him when I should have been preparing for the transfer test.

“I doubt it. Not with your bond,” Irene said. “You two fell fast and hard. I’d never seen a mating bond develop so quickly. It usually takes years.”

I couldn’t accept that. “If it wasn’t us then. If we were other people, could we split the bond quicker?”

Irene gave me a skeptical look before she sighed. “I suppose, if you were someone else, I would tell you that I’ve heard – and this is unverified, since there is only anecdotal evidence. But I’ve heard some of the pain can be softened if a new mating bond is formed.”

“So… I would need to bond with someone else?”

“Theoretically,” Nurse Irene said. “But I’d caution against it. As I said, it’s not verified. I suspect a lot of it is merely wishful thinking.”

“But there’s a chance that could work?”

“I suppose.”

I didn’t want to form a new mating bond. Right now, I didn’t want any bond at all.

But even if I didn’t form a mating bond, perhaps simply spending time with other single people would be enough to convince the bond to loosen somewhat. And maybe that could stop the heartbreak.

I wasn’t ready to date anyone, and I didn’t know if I would ever be ready.

But if it would help, when I wasn’t studying…

If it would make the pain would go away…