Chapter 148

Since leaving Asher’s, I was an absolute mess. I was ugly crying, all sobs and hiccups, and blowing my nose every twenty seconds.

I tried to call Nicole, but she couldn’t understand what I was saying through my tears and sniffles. I supposed that I shouldn’t have been surprised when she and Aimee showed up at my door twenty minutes later with extra blankets and pillows and three pints of ice cream.

“Definitely the kind of night for a sleepover,” Aimee said, by way of an explanation.

I let them in without a word. They arranged all the blankets and pillows in a nest on the ground and the three of us sat in the middle of it.

Nicole passed me a pint of ice cream and a spoon. “Do you want to talk about what happened? You seemed okay earlier at the party.”

I blew my nose again. My crying had slowed since my friends had arrived. It hadn’t stopped entirely just yet though.

“Asher and I broke up,” I said, and more tears fell. Saying it aloud seemed to make it feel more real somehow.

Aimee and Nicole wore twin looks of surprise. They both spoke at once.

“What?”

“What happened?”

I told them almost every detail, from when I first suspected Asher might not think me capable to the moment when he flat-out agreed with Elena that passing the transfer exam was impossible. I explained every hurtful word we slung at each other afterwards.

The only part I omitted was the fooling around and calling Nancy. None of that seemed relevant anymore. Since we’d never be like that again.

When I finished, I could barely hold myself up anymore, I was so physically and emotionally drained. Fortunately Aimee and Nicole had scooched closer, Aimee on one side and Nicole on the other. They sat close enough for me to lean on.

The closeness reminded me I wasn’t alone.

“I can’t believe he said those things to you,” Aimee said. “What was he thinking?”

“He was thinking how much of a jerk he is,” Nicole snapped.

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter, does it? What’s done is done. It’s over.”

Both other girls fell silent.

After a moment, Aimee spoke. “Then we’re done with him too. Right?”

“Right,” Nicole agreed.

“…Yeah,” I said. My whole heart was broken. Without Asher, I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to fix it.

“Listen, I know this sucks but maybe it’s an opportunity,” Aimee said.

I blinked up at her, surprised. How could this possibly be an opportunity for anything other than misery?

“Maybe opportunity is the wrong word.” Aimee looked sheepish for a moment, then pressed on. “What I’m trying to say is, this is a chance to forget about boys for a while and really concentrate on passing the transfer exam.”

“Asher doesn’t think I can do it,” I said.

Nicole scoffed. “Sure, but he’s a jerk, as we established. The question is, what do you think? Do you think you can pass?”

Did I? I had once, earlier, before Elena and Asher had planted doubts in my mind. But if I was to start over… If I forgot about the people who wanted to pull me down, and focused solely on my dreams…

Then, yes. I believed I could. “I can pass. I won’t give up.”

Nicole smiled. “See? There you go. There’s our Cynthia.”

“Yes.” Aimee smiled too. “Keep that positivity up. You are going to pass that exam and… honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Asher apologizes, too.”

Nicole shushed her.

I knew Aimee was trying to help but the words sliced me.

Asher wouldn’t apologize. Not if he thought he was right. He had always been stubborn but he was prideful too. His foolish alpha pride would keep him from saying a word of apology to me, even if he could admit fault. Which I doubted.

“No boys, remember?” Nicole said.

“Sorry,” Aimee said, softer.

I hugged them both. “Thank you.”

Everything was still terrible. I felt… numb in a way I wasn’t sure I would ever recover from. I was heartbroken and so disappointed in the person Asher turned out to be. How could I have been so wrong about him? My heart hadn’t accepted it yet.

But at least I had my friends.

“Your ice cream is melting,” Nicole said and passed me my pint again.

With them by my side, and enough ice cream, maybe I would be okay again in time.

Because I remained confident that I would pass the transfer exam, I continued attending my classes. Unfortunately, this meant I continued to overhear the worst rumors and gossip about me and my pregnancy.

“Shh, there’s Cynthia. That pregnant cheerleader.”

“Ex-cheerleader, from what I heard.”

“Didn’t she used to date Joseph? You don’t think he’s the father?”

“No way. Joseph says she’s a massive cheater. The father could be anyone in school!”

“Or out of it.”

The group of gossipers snickered and I hurried to my next class. Maybe on a different day, I would have confronted them and set the record straight. Joseph was the cheater, not me. Joseph’s reputation wasn’t a secret!

But, after everything that had happened yesterday, I was just too tired.

I wasn’t surprised that Joseph had decided to spread those rumors of my cheating without my consent, but I did feel further disappointment.

Why did it seem like every guy I met tried to control everything about me? Was every guy in the universe truly so despicable?

If only I could meet someone nice. A guy who treated girls with the respect they deserved, and valued all of their choices and opinions. But guys like that probably didn’t exist.

If only Asher had –

No. I couldn’t let myself go down that road. Asher was past tense.

All boys were.

Studying was all I cared about now. When I passed the transfer exam, then I could figure out the rest, for better or worse. Then and only then.

The gossipmongers in the hallway outside of my next class were as bad as the first.

“She’s a cheater. She doesn’t know who the father is.”

“That’s really just a shame for the baby. Kid deserves a father.”

“And she’s already getting fat. Fat with no man? Who would want her now? The kid’s got no shot at a happy life.”

I’d held up against the earlier rumors, but these ones felt so much worse. Crueler. They poked at my deepest fear: that I couldn’t give my baby the loving family they deserved.

I wrapped my arms around my waist and slunk my shoulders low. Tucking my chin down, I tried to make myself as small as possible as I weaved through the whispering crowd.

“Don’t project your problems onto Cynthia,” said a new male voice. “A loving mother could give her kid a good life on her own. And a real man cares for a woman as a person, regardless of the weight she puts on to have a baby.”

Surprised that anyone had come to my defense, I stopped in my tracks. Peering around, I quickly found the owner of the voice.

He had straight brown hair down to his jawline, freckles, and a friendly kind of smile that softened even further when he caught me looking.

“As far as I’m concerned, Cynthia has nothing to worry about,” he said, speaking to the others while looking straight at me. “She is fighting tooth and nail to protect her baby. Quitting the qualifying exam because she was pregnant? She put her baby first.”

I blushed, unused to praise from a stranger. Though now that I looked at him, I kind of remembered seeing him around the athletes’ dorm. I never talked to him though.

The people around him had the decency to look embarrassed at his words.

“Yeah, but…” Someone tried to argue but couldn’t come up with anything.

Eventually, my defender excused himself. “If you children will excuse me.”

Then he walked straight towards me.