Chapter 145

I went about my day, and Joseph did not bother me further. But his threat, you will regret this, stuck with me in the back of my mind.

Only after a couple of days, did I start to relax again, not checking over my shoulder every time I went outside.

Joseph liked to make threats. They didn’t always amount to anything. Usually because Asher thwarted them, but maybe Joseph finally learned his lesson this time.

Maybe this threat was all bark and no bite.

One morning, I awoke to an invitation from Nicole to a small party with the cheerleading squad, to say goodbye and best wishes.

I’d already contacted the trainer in charge as soon as I had been able, to let her know I had to leave the team for now. She’d been understanding, though curt.

She’d ended the call with, “Have a good life, Cynthia.” She obviously didn’t believe I could pass the transfer exam.

It seemed like I had a lot of people I had to convince I was capable. Asher’s doubt still hurt the worst, however.

I shook my head to clear away those thoughts. Asher was just being Asher. I had to forgive and forget.

Even though he had never apologized for being hurtful.

Ug! Stop worrying about Asher!

I forced myself out of bed and got ready for the day. I prepped for the party, wearing a simple sundress and a cardigan, but I also stuffed a few of my text books into my bag to study before and after.

Then I pushed myself out the door, heading to the library.

When it was time for the party, I met Nicole and the girls at one of the local restaurants. The team had rented out the banquet room and ordered a ton of pizzas. Most everyone was already there when I arrived, even Elena, who I hadn’t expected to see.

Nicole pulled me into a hug. She whispered to me that she had passed the qualifying exam, and I hugged her tighter. Yet before I could voice my excitement for her, she hushed me.

“Some of the other girls here weren’t so lucky.”

Oh. I then understood. This goodbye party wasn’t just for me. That explained Elena.

I nodded, showing her I got the message. Softly, I told her, “I’m thrilled for you.”

“Thanks,” she said. “And I know Aimee’s already setting stuff up, but I want to say it myself. I’m going to help you study. It’s just facts.”

I smiled at her. The weight of my worries felt lighter with her support. “Thanks, Nicole.”

She dragged me further into the room, where I met many friendly faces, some happy, some sad. A few were there, I suspected, just to see what my plans were now. Some girls really loved the gossip.

When Elena herself came to stand beside me, I knew I was in trouble.

“So, Nicole seems to believe you are thinking of taking the transfer exam,” Elena said. “I told her that was ridiculous.”

Irritation crackled along my nerves. “Not ridiculous. I signed up to take it next month.”

“You?” She pointed at me. Voice high with disbelief and mockery, she asked, “You are going to take an exam that is challenging for even the highest academically performing students here?”

She didn’t have to say it like that. Doubt crept, ever unwelcome, into my thoughts. “Yes,” I said, though sounded less certain now.

“Oh, Cynthia. Please. Girl to girl, take my advice.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “Give up while you are ahead. People think you are a hero right now, sacrificing your chance at the Academy to protect your baby. It’s compelling. No one wants to watch you waffle around for a month and then fail.”

I swallowed my growing fear. “I won’t fail.”

Elena leaned in closer. “You don’t actually believe that, do you? Cynthia, honey. There is no way you could ever pass that exam. Not even if you studied for a hundred years.”

I shrugged off her hand. “Go away, Elena.”

“Don’t get upset,” Elena said, though she was smiling. “It’s important that people know their limits. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

I turned from her, and rushed back to Nicole’s side. She was with a few other cheerleaders, who were much more supportive.

“You got this!” they told me.

“Who cares that no athlete has ever passed before? Someone has to be first,” said another, slightly less helpful.

But it was Elena’s voice I heard when I left the party to return to studying.

There is no way you could ever pass that exam. Not even if you studied for a hundred years.

I had to prove her wrong. I had to prove everyone wrong.

I tried to focus on studying, but worries compounded onto worries. Before long, I was so overwhelmed, I could barely read one sentence.

What I needed was a distraction. Clear my head. Then I could get back to studying.

“Asher,” I said, as I found myself on his doorstep not much later. “Do you think we could…?” I waved my hand between our bodies.

He tilted his head a little, but let me in regardless of his confusion.

“I have too many thoughts,” I said as I rushed inside. “I just want to think of nothing for like, two minutes.”

“Oh,” he said. “I see.”

I spun on my heel, facing him. “Only if you want to!”

The curious confusion was gone from his eyes now, replaced with a darker blue. Heat was sparking there, growing as he stepped closer to me. Another step, and a fire ignited. Another, and I was in his arms, ready to be engulfed in flames.

His mouth descended to my neck as he gentle urged me backwards. When the back of my legs hit the side of the mattress, he slowly lowered me down. Then he crawled over me.

Elbows on the bed, he began loosening the ties of my blouse. Each new sliver of skin he uncovered earned a soft kiss of his lips. Kiss after kiss, he left a gentle trail down to the center of my chest, directly between my breasts.

After his kiss there, he turned his face and licked at the curve of one breast. I clawed my fingers into the bedspread in anticipation. My heart kicked up into overdrive. My body trembled with want.

Yes, this was perfect. This was exactly what I wanted – no, needed.

Asher, here, touching me, reaffirming our bond.

He nuzzled more of my breast, tongue slipping under my bra. At the damp press of his tongue to my peaked nipple, my heart leapt against my ribcage and I gasped.

Then panic struck. I shoved at Asher’s shoulders, pushing him back. He was so strong that I shouldn’t have been able to move him, even pushing, but he backed away at once.

His eyes sought out mine. “What’s wrong?”

“Are we hurting the baby?” I asked, frightened.

He rolled off of me in a rush. He was on his feet in three seconds flat. “You think? Could we be?”

“I don’t know. Does this count as strenuous activity?”

I hadn’t thought much of it earlier, but with the way my heart jumped, it felt as if I had been running. Did my body know the difference? Did the baby?

Asher pushed his hands through his hair. He didn’t bother masking his concern. Maybe he couldn’t.

“What should we do?” I asked.

“Stop,” Asher said. “We don’t have to do anything. We can just sit.”

“Okay,” I said.

He sat beside me as I pulled myself upright. He glanced at me, then down at my half-opened shirt, and inched a little further away.

I missed his closeness. I also missed his mouth on my skin.

We could get through today, but six months without intimate touching seemed like a very long time. …Could I even masturbate?

“Maybe we should call Nancy,” Asher said, then.

I exhaled with relief. “Yes.” A wonderful suggestion!

I rushed to my phone and dialed my cousin.