Chapter 121

Asher held me tightly, arms clasped around my waist, body pressed firmly along my back. He showed no signs of wanting to let go, but still, I gripped tightly at his wrists to keep him right where he was.

I wasn’t sure I could trust what he was saying. He only wanted… me? That seemed so far-fetched. But Asher didn’t lie to me. If he was saying to me that he only kissed this girl, than I believed him. It still hurt, but…

He was with me, here, now, out in the dark on the sidewalk. Not in his dorm room with her.

We needed to talk about this, I knew that. But I didn’t want to let go of him yet.

The feeling seemed mutual.

“Cynthia,” he whispered. “Please forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” I said, just as softly.

“Don’t lie to me.”

Finally, reluctantly, I knew the time for talking had come whether I’d wanted it to or not, and I slowly pulled away from him. He loosened his hold only so much that I could turn in his arms and face him.

His usually cool façade was entirely missing. Under the streetlights and distant starlight, he gazed at me with a blatant, open affection that stole my breath away.

“Asher. What are we to each other?” I couldn’t resist asking. Somehow, looking at him like this, seeing him without his mask, I had to delve deeper.

He licked his lips. His brow furrowed slightly. “I don’t know,” he said, and sounded genuine. “What are we to you?”

I thought about it. Asher was very special to me, always there for me and a good friend. I wanted to protect him and be protected by him. I didn’t want to share him with other women.

I think I might have loved him, but I wasn’t ready to say that yet. Not to his face.

But what label could I put on us? I wasn’t sure. We weren’t dating, fake or otherwise, but we felt like more than friends.

“I don’t know either,” I said.

We frowned at each other, then both glanced away.

“Maybe…” Asher began. He cleared his throat. When I looked up at him, he almost seemed nervous, glancing at me, then away. “Maybe we don’t need a label yet.”

“Okay.”

“But… I think we should agree not to date anyone else.”

“Okay,” I agreed quickly. Too quickly. A heartbeat later, the guilt set in. “Although that doesn’t seem fair to you.”

Asher’s focus returned to me with so much intensity that my throat went dry.

“Why not?” he asked.

I nervously tangled my fingers around the hem of his t-shirt. “I can’t ask you to tie yourself down to me…”

“You aren’t asking me,” he said. “Cynthia, I don’t want to date anyone else. So whether you feel some strange sense of guilt or not, doesn’t matter. It won’t change anything for me. I’m not going to date anyone else. Period. But… if you wanted to date another guy…”

“I don’t,” I assured him at once.

He exhaled. “Thank God.”

He tugged me tighter and we tenderly embraced. He ran a hand through my hair. I buried my face against his chest. A sense of contentment swirled through me. I wished I could stay like this with Asher forever.

But then, at once, I remembered why I had come to see him in the first place.

Nurse Irene, and her threats.

“Asher, there is something I need to tell you about…”

“Hm?”

I pulled away and had him sit beside me on a park bench. Then I told him everything that happened, about Nurse Irene coming to my dorm room, and her insistence that I cooperate with her.

Asher held my hands as I spoke. He squeezed them when her threats became clear.

“I won’t let her hurt you,” Asher said, “Either through her own experiments, or making you go to the research facility. I will protect you.”

He was so earnest, I wanted to believe him. But this felt bigger than anything we’d faced before. If the truth of my ability was discovered, what could Asher legitimately do to protect me, that wouldn’t endanger himself in the process?

I couldn’t ask him that. I knew he would do anything for me, legitimate or not. But I didn’t want him to get hurt.

“Hey.” He lifted a hand to notch his finger under my chin, raising my lowered head. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I said, without question.

He smiled a little, and my heart raced in my chest.

“Then trust me to keep us all safe. You, me, and the baby.”

The way he said it… You, me, and the baby. Almost like we would be a real family.

Asher was a natural protector, a strong leader, and a good, loyal man. How I wished that he was the actual father of my baby, and not Joseph.

Yet even with our tentative almost-relationship and Asher’s offer to be the baby’s godfather, I couldn’t ask him to take that role. He might not want to date anyone else right now, but that didn’t mean he was ready to be saddled with fatherhood.

Still, I couldn’t stop the dreams that tugged at the edges of my heart, begging me to believe that he might actually want the job, the commitment. Maybe he would want to be a father, if I gave him the chance.

I was afraid to know either way. No matter how my heart sang at the thought of Asher and me and the baby living in a house as a family unit.

I blinked back tears. “Okay.” If nothing else, I could trust Asher to want to keep us safe.

Maybe someday, he’d want more…

“Good.” He lowered his hand. “Now, if this Nurse Irene shows up again, call me, and I’ll come running. No matter the place or the time. I will be there.”

With those words of comfort, I felt myself finally begin to relax. I leaned into Asher’s warmth and he wrapped his arm around me.

The good feeling lasted for nearly an entire day, until I went to cheerleading practice the next afternoon.

“As you know, the qualifying exams are quickly approaching,” said the trainer as we girls began to stretch.

I hadn’t forgotten about the qualifying exams. Far from it!

Everything I’d been working so hard for depended on this moment. If I passed the qualifying exams, then my spot in the Academy would be assured. I could take the time off to have my baby and not worry about being kicked out of school.

“In preparation for the exams,” the trainer continued, “each of you will undergo a physical examination to assess your physical capabilities.” She checked her clipboard. “This will include both an examination from a doctor or nurse, as well as an x-ray.”

With each word she spoke, my stomach twisted tighter and tighter. Physical examination? With a doctor? X-rays?

Didn’t that mean radiation? I was pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to expose my baby to that at this stage. I needed to talk to my cousin Nancy. I needed to figure out what to do!

“Cynthia, are you alright?” the trainer asked. “You look as pale as a ghost.”

“I’m fine,” I lied. I didn’t know how convincing I was. Inside, I was a terrible, worrying mess.

What was going to happen to me?

Was I going to lose everything a mere couple of weeks ahead of the qualifying exam, because I couldn’t pass a physical?