Chapter 120

Asher

Ever since Cynthia had suggested we end our fake relationship, I had done my very best to forget about her. It shouldn’t have been as difficult as it was, with the way all these other girls had been throwing themselves at me since the moment my new single status went public.

Yet despite the dozens of phone numbers stuffed into my pockets, the only person I wanted to call was Cynthia. I longed to hear her voice.

Things ended awkwardly between us. I was to blame. The idea of mates had made me push too hard. It was natural that she would retreat after I came on so strong.

I’d thought of apologizing a thousand times, but what would it change? In the lounge, Cynthia had fled from me. She likely didn’t want to talk to me, no matter what I had to say.

So I buried thoughts of her under mind-numbing conversations with other women. And when a girl that looked a little like Cynthia came along, I decided to accept her proposition to return to my room for some fun.

She was flirtier than Cynthia, and her voice wasn’t quite right. But her hair was almost the same shade of brown, and her body type was similar. Her curves weren’t quite as delectable though.

That couldn’t be helped. No one had a body as hot as Cynthia’s.

As soon as I closed the door to my dorm room, this girl had ambushed me. Her mouth latched onto mine and in my surprise, her tongue slipped into my mouth.

I didn’t mind pushy women, but this one made me feel like she was expecting something from me. Something she wasn’t getting. She frowned against my mouth.

Breaking the kiss, she mumbled, “Get it, Asher. Don’t make me do all the work.”

We’d literally just started. I didn’t know what she was talking about.

Any other day, I’d just kick her out as incompatible, but today I wanted to forget. I needed to.

If this girl wanted me to be rough, I could be rough.

At once, I flipped our positions, pushing her up against the door. She moaned, pleased, when I descended my lips to hers.

She was the right height. This was how I would have to lean to kiss Cynthia.

No. Stop thinking about Cynthia.

Deepening the kiss, I slid my hands along the sides of her body, but her shape didn’t feel good against mine. She wasn’t as soft as Cynthia. She didn’t push into me enough.

My heart really wasn’t in this.

I ended the kiss and stepped back.

“What’s wrong?” not-Cynthia asked.

“It’s nothing.” God, I didn’t even know this girl’s name. That had seemed the right choice in the beginning, just another nameless hookup, but now I felt like an asshole.

“Are you thinking about her?” she asked.

I wasn’t much of a liar. “Yes.”

Thinking that the end of this misguided adventure, I moved the bed and sat down on the edge of it.

Instead, the girl followed me across the room and settled in my lap.

“I can help you forget,” she said.

If I squeezed my eyes closed really tightly, and didn’t let my hands linger too much, maybe this could still work. Instead of forgetting about Cynthia, I could lean into it.

I lifted my chin in invitation, and she kissed me.

I tried to imagine Cynthia kissing me, but… this girl was too rigid. The kiss felt too sterile.

Cynthia was fire and passion. She was fluid against me, taking and giving. She’d moved with my ministrations, and always offered me her neck to mark.

I couldn’t… This was too much…

Breaking the kiss, I turned my face away.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t give up,” the girl said, petulant. “We can make this work.”

“I really don’t think so.” I removed my hands from her hips and placed them at my sides on the bed.

There was nothing we could do to make this work. When I tried to think of taking this woman’s clothes off and pressing into her, my dick didn’t so much as twitch.

I wanted Cynthia, body and soul, and no one else would do.

I couldn’t go back to how things were before, with random hookups. And I didn’t have a clue how to properly explain myself.

This was going to ruin my reputation for being a ladies’ man. Like I gave a shit.

The only person’s opinion I cared about anymore was Cynthia’s.

A knock at the door drew away the girl on my lap’s attention. “I’ll get it,” she said, sliding away from me. “You stay here and think those sexy thoughts.”

I sighed in relief the minute she stopped touching me. How was I going to get out of this?

The girl opened the door, then stood there for a long moment.

“Oh,” she eventually said. “It’s you.”

I frowned. Who could be there that would elicit that kind of reaction?

“I’m looking for Asher,” Cynthia said, and my heart jumped into my throat.

“He’s busy,” the girl said, and suddenly I didn’t just dislike her. I actively hated her. She knew I was thinking about Cynthia, and instead of stepping aside, she was purposefully getting in the way.

I rose to my feet and rushed to the door. The girl moved out of the way with an annoyed eye roll.

Cynthia’s eyes were red-rimmed and glassy. Had she been crying? Was she about to cry again?

“Cynthia,” I said, finally feeling the perfection of her name on my tongue again.

She motioned toward the corner of her mouth. “You have something… right here…” Her voice broke. The damn of tears flooded over. And she turned and ran.

At dabbed at the corner of my mouth and pulled away with smudged lipstick on my thumb.

God damn it.

“Cynthia! Wait!”

Not caring about the girl in my room, I dashed after the girl I truly desired.

I caught her outside, and pulled her into my embrace. She faced away from me but didn’t struggle out of my grip. Instead, she clawed at my arms with her fingers, desperately keeping me where I was.

“We kissed, that’s all. I swear,” I said. “Please, Cynthia. That’s all that happened.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said through her sniffles. “We aren’t together. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“It does matter,” I said, seeing through her lies. If it truly didn’t matter, why was she crying like it was the end of the world? “I couldn’t do more. I tried to forget you, but I couldn’t… She’s not the one I want, Cynthia.”

“You… don’t know what you’re saying…”

“I do!” I squeezed her to me, wishing she could feel the truth of it straight through my chest. The way my heart beat only for her. “We only kissed. She wanted more, but I couldn’t… I didn’t want to. I can’t do that anymore.”

I felt the moment she started to believe me. The tenseness of her body flitted away. She exhaled and relaxed against me.

With her relaxing, I relaxed too. Everything felt right now, with Cynthia in my arms. I didn’t know how I could have ever convinced myself that she could be replaced or forgotten.

She had broken our fake relationship because she worried my wolf was already in too deep and saw her as its mate. The truth was, it wasn’t the only one.

Holding Cynthia like I was, I felt like home.

And I knew I loved her.