Chapter 63

Anila’s POV

Harley was trying desperately to look anywhere but me; he was fighting with his bear, and that much was clear.

I stepped closer to him, reaching my hand out for him to touch, but he didn’t take it. He stared at it like it was a weapon aiming directly at him. I hated that he didn’t trust me; I hated that he was hurting this much, and it was because of me.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

“It’s okay,” I told him, finally finding my voice.

His gaze lifted and his eyes met mine, and I could see the questions in them, and I wanted to answer all of them, but I didn’t have the answers. I didn’t know what I was doing either, and I didn’t want to hurt anybody in the process.

“It’s okay, Harley,” Xaden said from behind me. “Go with her and let her calm you.”

Harley swallowed the lump in his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so and then he nodded his head once, reaching his hand out and allowing his fingertips to brush across mine.

It was as if I knew exactly what to do; like my body was running off reflux and something inside of me took complete control. I stepped into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling my body against his, trying to soothe his wolf. Harley stood stiff for a moment and then I felt his body relaxing and his massive arm wrapping around my waist.

I knew Xaden was already gone before I looked; I’m sure he didn’t want to see this and plus he had to tell my first professor that I wasn’t going to make it to class this morning. I would just have to make up the coursework later. Right now, Harley needed me, and I think I needed him too. I needed to assure myself that he was okay and that we were okay.

Something inside of me was screaming to make sure he was truly okay.

I took hold of a hand and pulled him along with me. He didn’t say anything, he only followed. We weaved through the forest ground until we came across Xaden’s cabin.

I paused though when I reached the door and tried to open it; it was locked.

“There’s a key under the mat,” Harley murmured, his eyes shifted downward.

I bent and reached under the floor mat; sure enough, he was right. There was a key underneath. I’m sure Harley had hung out with Xaden here plenty of times and it showed.

Unlocking the door, I pushed it open before putting the key back under the mat.

I walked inside, pulling Harley in with me and shutting the door. He was standing behind me and I could feel his eyes studying me, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn around and face him. I had no idea what I was doing but something inside of me told me that I needed to be here with him. I wondered if maybe I was listening to the wrong voice though; I wondered if it was a good idea for me to be alone in an intimate setting with Harley.

This probably wasn’t going to end well for us, and I didn’t want to hurt him any further than I already had.

“I’m already feeling calmer,” Harley murmured. “We can probably just go back.”

As if something switched inside of me, I spun around to face him.

“Is that what you want?” I asked. “To head back?”

He looked at me for a moment longer before his shoulders sagged, and he shook his head.

“No, but it doesn’t feel right being here either,” he admitted.

I stepped closer to him. I wanted to apologize to him, to really talk to him and get everything out in the open. At least that’s what my brain was telling me to do, but my heart was telling me to do something completely different.

I stepped into his arms, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek softly. I allowed my lips to linger there, and he closed his eyes, reeling in my closeness. He took a deep breath, and I knew it was the scent he was trying to obtain. I wondered how different it was now that I was marked by Xaden.

At this moment though, I couldn’t feel Xaden, only felt Harley and I could feel how on edge his bear was still, despite us being alone and me being in his arms. I ran my fingers through Harley’s hair and his body trembled against me because of my touch.

“Anila…” he whispered, his voice strained, and I knew for certain he was holding back.

I shushed him as my lips found him; our kiss was soft and intimate. His lips were moist and hesitant like he was afraid it was about to change everything. And maybe it would; I really didn’t care. I only wanted to feel.

“Don’t talk,” I whispered against him, puckering kisses along his jawline.

Our lips met again, our tongues twirled around each other as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer to him. My body molded against his large form perfectly; I could feel the bulge in his pants pressing against my stomach.

I ran my fingers through his hair as I deepened the kiss, loving how he felt against my mouth. His lips moved mine in perfect rhythm and I found myself moaning into his mouth. It felt like my entire body had come to life and sparks were tingling across my flesh.

He bit my lower lip, bringing it into his mouth and making it swell from the pressure. I giggled when he lifted me off the ground and brought me over to the couch, sitting me down on his lap. He ran his fingers up and down my spine, sending sparks of electricity down my body, causing goosebumps to form on my flesh almost immediately. This was the kind of feeling only a mate could cause.

But just as soon as the kiss began, it stopped. He was breathing heavily and I wanted to go back in for another kiss but he moved his head just as my lips brushed his cheek. I frowned up at him and he gave me a sad smile that tore my heart in half.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered, feeling that sting of rejection deep in my chest and yet not fully understanding what it meant. I shouldn’t feel rejected; I was marked by another. I loved Xaden more than anything. I had never felt love before, but what I had with Xaden was so real and it was so good.

I knew he gave me permission to be here with Harley and I needed to talk to him more about this mate thing, but for right now, it was probably better if things didn’t go any further with Harly. Deep down I knew this, but that didn’t mean I was ready to accept it.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about…” Harly spoke in a strained whisper. “I reacted poorly. I knew you belonged to Xaden. I should have expected this already.”

Tears filled my eyes as I placed my head on Harley chest, letting his warmth and scent calm me.

“I don’t belong to anybody,” I replied. “I’m my own person.”

“Of course you are,” Harley agreed. “But Xaden claimed you in the beginning long before he marked you. He’s my best friend, Anila, and I have to respect that.”

I nodded, but that didn’t settle the ache in my chest.

“And what if I want to explore this mate thing with the others?” I asked, biting my swollen bottom lip while I anticipated his response. “I know I was just marked by Xaden, but if the Moon Queen was able to have 5 mates, why can’t I have multiple mates? I read she wore the mark of all of her mates…”

“She’s the only one in history who was able to be marked by multiples,” Harley explained sadly. “It doesn’t work with just anybody.”

“There are some who think I might be the reincarnate,” I reminded him, peeking up at him to see his stoic expression.

“That’s not a chance we should take,” he finally said after a beat of silence. “It’s no secret how I feel about you. I’ve tried to keep my distance and be respectful towards Xaden. But it’s difficult when I have all these feelings inside of me… I’m not really sure what to do and it scares me.”

I tightened my hold on him and buried my face in his chest, letting some tears fall down my cheeks and drip off my chin. He held me tighter as well, kissing the top of my head gently and taking in my scent.

When I spoke next, it came out as barely a whisper and I wasn’t even sure if he fully heard me.

“I’m scared me too.”