Chapter 45

Ava

“Can we talk, Ava?”

Even now, seeing Chris’s green eyes reflecting the sunlight and his hair tousled by the wind, it hurt. Maybe it hurt even more, seeing him like this.

“Of course,” I finally managed, somehow keeping my voice steady despite the fact that I almost felt sick just looking at him. “What is it?”

Chris glanced around at our bustling surroundings—the market was particularly lively today, and far from discreet if he wanted to have a more personal conversation. “I was actually hoping to speak with you in private,” he said, lowering his voice.

I hesitated, knowing that being alone with him right now was likely unwise for my own peace of mind. Still, I found myself nodding again before I could think better of it. “Alright.”

Chris offered me a crooked smile before turning to the vendor, placing a few coins in the woman’s hand to cover the cost of the honey—and, to my surprise, he took the basket out of my hand and paid for everything in there as well.

“Chris, you don’t need to—” I started to protest, but he simply shook his head again.

“I want to,” he said firmly, handing me back the basket now that everything was paid for. Our fingers brushed together as the basket traded hands, and I felt that damned blush rising to my cheeks despite my best efforts.

Curse these insufferable feelings.

Before I could say anything else, Chris was already steering us through the crowd and toward a small, shady grouping of trees nearby. My pulse quickened with every step, although I told myself there was no reason to be so anxious. This was just Chris, the little boy who I used to babysit.

Right. That was all.

Once we were safely concealed behind the trees, Chris turned to face me again, his expression unreadable.

“I know you have questions,” he said simply, almost like a statement rather than a question.

I blinked, then gave a small nod. “I suppose so,” I admitted despite myself. “About last night, and…” I trailed off, my mouth going dry.

“And the arrangement with Lily,” Chris finished for me, his tone neutral.

Drawing in a fortifying breath, I met his gaze again. “I just want to be on the same page, as your Acting Luna,” I said carefully. “You and Lily seem well-matched—”

“Do we?” Chris cut me off, one eyebrow arching upward. “You can’t possibly think I have any interest in being with Lily in that way.”

Despite myself, my eyes widened slightly at his words. “But… why not?” I asked. “She’s beautiful, and intelligent, and—”

“Ava.” Chris took a small step closer, his eyes burning into mine with startling intensity. “Do I really need to tell you why?”

The implication in his words made my head spin. I took a tiny step back, preparing myself to protest. No, this was unreasonable. He was supposed to be with her. She was younger, a viable Luna, and she could convince him to stay here.

But before I could utter a word, Chris bridged the remaining distance between us in one stride, his hand reaching out to cup my cheek. He leaned forward, his free hand looping around my waist and pulling me flush against his body.

“Chris…” I mumbled weakly, knowing I should pull away—knowing this was a dangerous line we were toeing. But his proximity addled my senses, made coherent thought nearly impossible.

His nose nuzzled against my hairline, and I could feel the brush of his lips against the sensitive skin just below my ear as he murmured, “You’re the only one for me, Ava. The only one I could ever want.”

It took every ounce of my willpower to finally pull back, my hands coming up to press firmly against his chest to put some distance between us. Chris made a soft sound of protest, but I shook my head vehemently.

“We can’t. You know we can’t,” I said, my voice shaking despite my best efforts. I drew in a few calming breaths before continuing. “Chris, I was thinking last night, and… I made a decision.”

Confusion flickered across his face. “A decision.”

Meeting his eyes again, I tried to ignore how my heart pounded in my chest as I thought back on the decision I had come to late last night—last night, when I was tossing and turning before the sun came up.

When I had decided to end this, now, even if Chris tried to stay with me. No matter how much it hurt.

“That even if we could…” I swallowed. “Even if we were able to be together here, and not in the human world, even if we were closer in age or tradition allowed it… I don’t think we should continue seeing each other.”

“What?” Chris murmured.

I felt as if I might choke on my words. “I’ve only just gotten divorced,” I managed around the lump in my throat. “I shouldn’t go jumping into another relationship so soon. This obsession, it’s not… healthy.”

Understanding slowly dawned on Chris’s face as I spoke, although he still seemed somewhat skeptical—or perhaps merely unwilling to accept my decision so easily.

“I see,” he said quietly. “And this is what you want? To be unattached? Distant?”

My throat felt tight, but I nodded. “To an extent, yes. I’m more than happy to be your friend and your Acting Luna, but we shouldn’t be romantically involved. Even if you and Lily don’t work out, I need… time.”

He opened his mouth as if to protest, but I pressed on before he could.

“At least go on a date with Lily,” I suggested, trying to keep my tone light and unbothered despite the sudden lurch in my stomach. “Just to see if there could be anything there. I know it seems unlikely, but you won’t know unless you give it a chance, right?”

Chris stared at me for a moment, then let out a resigned sigh. “If that’s what you wish,” he said. “But I can promise you, no matter how many dates I might go on with Lily or anyone else, you’ll still be the only one I have eyes for.”

My cheeks flushed hotly at that, and I gave him a scolding look. “Let’s cross that bridge when—no, if—we come to it,” I chided gently. “For now, one date should be enough to put your mind at ease.”

For another few moments, Chris was silent. Then, “Alright, fine,” he said quietly. “But if anything, this is only going to prove how taken I am with you. No one else could compare.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that except to give him a small, almost sad smile. We stood there in companionable silence for another moment before he finally inclined his head.

“I’ll see you around,” he murmured, turning on his heel and striding away.

…

Walking up the front path of my cottage, I noticed a small brown package peeking out from behind the mailbox flag. Curious, I set my basket down and retrieved it, my lips tugging into a small smile as I recognized Leonard’s tidy scrawl on the note attached:

“For when you’re feeling under the weather. -L”

Nestled safely inside the parcel was one perfectly round, gleaming red apple—no doubt from Leonard’s orchard. He really was too thoughtful sometimes, and the thought made me smile.

Pulling the apple out, I tucked my basket under my arm and took a bite as I wandered up the pathway—expecting the sort of sweet, juicy, fragrant fruit that only came from home-grown trees.

But my sadness had dulled my senses, and the apple tasted like nothing.