Chapter 12

Ava POV

I stared at Chris in shock. He knew? He had known all along and still left the Pack?

He read my face and shrugged with one shoulder. "It's just more folklore. I mean, seriously? A prophesy? Like I have some sort of great destiny to Rule Them All?"

He was obviously referencing something I did recognize, so I just kept staring. He frowned and seemed to reconsider his approach.

"I mean, I'm guessing the Elder was smart enough to see you were special even as a child. I can understand that. But me?" He shook his head.

"The Elders are chosen by the Goddess Luna," I said a little tightly. "All leave a behind a prophecy at their death. History has proven them true time and again."

"But the prophesies are usually so vague," he objected. "And I'm sure they also told you to keep it secret, right?"

"Yes, I was told not to share the prophesy to keep us both out of any danger."

He spread his hands, but for once I didn't find that distracting. "Look, we were both kids, even you, back then, and I was supposed to be Alpha and you were obviously going to be a spiritual, or at least a social leader of the Pack. Of course they wouldn't want us to leave."

I kept my voice level. "Whatever the Alpha Adam's and Elders' motivation, I made a promise not to leave, and I intend to honor that promise whatever the cost."

Chris nodded, then looked down at his hands-no, at his right arm and its bandage. I turned back to my bedroom and got dressed, leaving him to think things through. After I was presentable but definitely not feeling up to facing Chris just yet, I opened the large closet that had been Ethan's and looked over his clothes.

He'd always been a bit of a fashion plate. I looked over the dozens of pants and what seemed a hundred shirts. The fabrics were soft under my hands, and the air smelled strongly of shoe polish and faintly of starch. I contemplated that Ethan would never again stand here to look over it all, musing about what tie or jacket or hat he wanted to wear.

I had known the man almost all my life. Would I actually never see him again? I couldn't even imagine it, even though I now wanted to envision my future without him.

And Chris? How much a part of my future was he going to be? I knew what he wanted for both of us, but it was absurd, even a little offensive to the Pack. I could easily see him as a child in my mind's eye, riding his little pony, taking on his wolf pup form and play-fighting with his friends, being covered in mud after playing in the rain and getting scolded by his tutor.

I could easily see myself as his counselor. I had actually thought I would be his Beta's wife and serve him-serve the Pack for the rest of my days.

Service: it had been on my mind often lately. It was the heart of me, but I didn't see myself as a slave to it. I didn't miss Ethan, I realized, but I missed what being with Ethan had meant.

A knock at the door made me turn away from the closet. Chris was standing there looking somewhat sheepish. I saw he'd also retrieved yesterday's clothes from the clothesline, though his feet were bare, toes curling slightly against the light hardwood floor.

"I didn't mean to mock your beliefs," he said. "And I admire your loyalty. It's just not how I see the world. Please understand. I've made my life from the rational understanding of the world I've seen and appreciated in the Human World."

He frowned deeply, muttering as if to himself, "I never imagined returning here to live."

I couldn't help but sigh a little at the irony of it all. Our paths, one determined to leave forever and the other to stay, had suddenly been brought together by fate through just one night. Yet now the paths seemed to be separating again. I couldn't be what he wanted, and he couldn't be what I and the Pack needed.

"I can't force you to stay," I said. "I won't even ask you to. It's all up to you and always has been." I closed the door to Ethan's closet and crossed the room to sit in one of the two reading chairs by the bay window. Chris hesitated, then joined me, sinking into the soft chair without relaxing.

"I can promise that. I will do all I can to best serve as your Acting Luna until you determine who the next Alpha should be."

He looked at me a little helplessly. "I'm not even sure what that means."

I laughed a little. "Most Alphas wouldn't. But basically, I will only be expanding on my duties as wife to the Acting Beta. People will still come to me for help with their projects in raising money or volunteerism or social awareness or whatever else they need for the good of the Pack. But now they'll also come to me for spiritual guidance."

"In the Human World," he said, "religious leaders are called upon when someone is born or dies to lead various rites. They can marry couples and help them with confession or prayers."

I nodded. "I've heard about that, though I'm still not sure what sure what confession is all about."

He smiled at me, but there was a little more warmth in his green eyes than I was comfortable with.

I continued quickly, "But otherwise, yes, that's the basic idea. Of course, as you know, we have many spiritualists in the Pack, many of whom have had to step up to perform duties that usually fall to the Luna as we've been without one for so many years. I confess, it has caused some hardship."

He winced.

I chose my next words carefully. It was essential that Chris understand that what he wanted between us could never be. "I am confident that in the few days it takes you to chose the next Alpha I will be able to address whatever the Pack needs. Then I can help the next Luna with-"

"Please stop," he asked of me softly. "I realize better now how much Packlore means to you, and I do respect it, but I can't let it come between us as you are suggesting." He tilted his head as the sunlight through the window highlighted the angles of his face. "But you seem to be willfully rejecting a simple truth that I have loved you almost all of my life, and I have no intention of turning from you, unless, of course, you tell me my attention is unwelcome."

His eyes narrowed. "Not impossible, Ava. Not untraditional. Not offensive to the Pack. Unwelcome."

I sat there and looked at him. My mouth refused to open.

"Well? Are my advances unwelcome, Acting Luna Ava?"

Faced with such sincerity, I told myself I couldn't be harsh. Besides, I wasn't sure just how blatantly I want to lie to him.

Perhaps to both of us.