Chapter 84

In spite of the exhilaration of our victory, they day had to go on. The duties were never-ending, and after going out for a celebratory late lunch, Elroy and I had to return to our separate tasks.

I wanted to do something nice for myself, after that stressful experience, and I realized there was something I used to love that I hadn’t done in a long time—a girl’s night.

Before Damian isolated me, I’d had a small but thriving friend group. We’d gotten together every other weekend at someone’s house and had a girl’s night, where we got to do whatever stereotypical things the movies would have you think girls did at sleepovers. It had been fun and relaxing, and it would be the perfect way to end this crazy day.

Plus, it felt like reclaiming a little bit of myself that I hadn’t realized Damian had taken from me.

So I asked my one girl friend, the ever-dependable Jordan, and she’d agreed instantly. I set an alarm for myself so I wouldn’t get lost in my paperwork and popped into Elroy’s office to let him know.

"Elroy," I called out, "I'm planning a girl's night with Jordan in the Lily Room. Just something low-key to unwind."

“Good,” he said, turning to grin at me with a warmth that seemed to reach every corner of the room. “You deserve to pamper yourself after today’s incredible victory.”

He said it so easily, simple and sincere, and I could tell he really believed them. I’d been worried he’d be annoyed I wouldn’t be spending the night in the Ruby Room, but he seemed genuinely happy for me. I felt myself falling for him a little harder, a little deeper.

“Want me to get you anything? Don’t spa nights involve, like, face mud and stuff?” he asked with an impish grin.

“Face masks?” I corrected, laughing. “I have plenty of those. But pizza and ice cream would be divine.”

"Consider it done," he said, pulling my hand to his lips to kiss it before releasing me. My heart fluttered.

"Thank you, Elroy," I murmured, holding his gaze for a heartbeat longer than necessary.

Jordan was already in the Lily Room waiting for me, and just seeing her made my tense shoulders unravel. The other woman looked ready to have fun, and honestly, so was I. My wolf spun in happy circles in my mind as we threw every cushion and blanket we could find onto the floor, lit the first scented candle we found, and settled in.

And the first order of business during a girl’s night? Gossip.

"Soooo," Jordan teased, her keen eyes missing sparkling. “Did you hear about this week’s kitchen fiasco?”

It went on like that for a little bit, avoiding any heavy topics. One of the laundresses was getting married, someone played a prank on the groundskeeper, Thorne was a giant douchebag—that sort of thing. But, like in all girl’s nights, eventually the gossip became less shallow.

"You and Elroy have come a long way, haven't you?" Jordan finally asked. I felt my cheeks turn red, even though I knew there was nothing to be I shy about. We were Mates for Goddess’s sake!

“I guess it’s pretty obvious, huh?” I laughed, feeling bashful.

“I’ll say!” Jordan exclaimed. “For a while there I thought I was going to have to, I don’t know, un-fluff his pillow or something.” We burst into giggles.

“You know…” I said, “our marriage started so insanely, I can’t believe we’re here now. It’s almost like it shouldn’t have turned out this good.

“I mean, we didn’t exactly start out as the love story of the decade,” I said. “Things are so much better now, but…” Hesitation crept into my voice, the candlelight flickering just a little. Jordan frowned.

“He still feels distant,” I admitted softly, cradling my tummy. Jordan pulled me back into a hug, and it was a little easier to talk when I didn’t have to see her face. “Not like before or anything, he’s doing everything right, but that’s almost part of the problem?

“He’s sending me mixed signals. It’s like, he obviously trusts me, obviously cares about me, but there’s still some invisible line he refuses to cross.”

"Alpha Elroy has always been a bit of an enigma," she agreed softly, understanding lacing her tone.

Draping an arm over my knees, I leaned back against the silken cushions. "I can feel it, Jordan. It's like he's right there, but just out of reach.

“Part of me gets it, wants to give him as much time as he needs—you can’t rush the heart, right? But a part of me fears it's my fault—that I haven't given him enough reason to drop those final barriers."

"Olivia," Jordan said sternly, her hand finding mine, "you're more than enough. Whatever's holding him back, it's not you."

Her reassurance was a gentle wave that smoothed the jagged edges of my doubts. I smiled at her.

“I know,” I reassured her. “But I’m coming off of a manipulative relationship where I was always to blame, of course those thoughts are going to come to my head. I know it’s not my fault, and it’s not his either, but it’s just hard.

“I just—it just makes me so mad, you know, that he’s had to live a life where he can’t trust anybody. Mad and deeply, deeply sad. I feel horrible for him, for the things he’s been through to make him so hesitant to trust me, but it’s also killing me that he’s keeping me at arm’s length.”

“Of course it is, he’s your Mate!” Jordan said. I laughed, a little wetly.

“He is,” I agreed. “And he’s doing all the things a good Mate does, but it’s like he’s holding himself back. Like he won’t let himself…love me.”

And that was the heart of it, wasn’t it? He trusted me, he cared for me, but I couldn’t tell if he loved me. And I wanted his love, I wanted it so, so bad.

After all, I was freely giving him mine. Was it so selfish to want to feel it from him in return?

"Listen to me," Jordan said firmly, leaning toward me with an intensity that demanded attention. "I know you know this, but I’m going to say it anyway, as many times as you need.

“You've shown Alpha Elroy patience, understanding, and compassion. You've given him space when needed it and closeness when he sought it. Whatever is holding him back isn't a reflection of you or your worth."

And she was right, I did know that, but her words wrapped around me like a warm embrace nonetheless. It was a confirmation I didn’t know I needed.

I was about to thank her when a sudden knock on the door jolted us both.

"Must be Elroy with the food," I remarked, rising to my feet.

“Food?” Jordan asked excitedly. I giggled.

“You didn’t think we were going to survive on popcorn and hot chocolate, did you?”

But as the door swung open, it wasn’t Elroy like I was expecting. Sam greeted us with a friendly smile, his arms laden with boxes of pizza and a bag that undoubtedly contained our ice cream. "Evening, ladies. Alpha Elroy got caught up, but he wanted you to get your ice cream before it melted.”

"Thank you, Sam," I said, grateful for the interruption and the reminder of simple pleasures. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, no problems, just an insistent council member,” Sam rolled his eyes. I frowned.

“At this time of night?” I asked, a flicker of concern in my chest. Elroy was stern with what he considered his ‘work hours,’ refusing to entertain the council after a certain time unless it was a real emergency. Sam just shrugged.

“I’m not sure what it’s about, but he seemed more annoyed than concerned. I’m sure if anything important happens he’ll get you involved, but since he’s not, just enjoy your night, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I said, still perturbed, but Sam was right—if it was serious, Elroy would come get me. I pushed the worry to the side, deciding to just appreciate that he was handling it without me so I could have my girl’s night.

Sam left, and Jordan and I lounged on the plush cushions of the Lily Room, immersed in the simple joy of comfort food. I watched, bemused, as Jordan fought valiantly with a particularly rebellious strand of cheese that dangled from her mouth, refusing to break off from the mother slice.

"Gotcha!" she exclaimed with triumph as she finally slurped the cheese into her mouth, her grin widening as she caught my amused gaze.

I leaned back, allowing the softness our weird little nest to embrace me fully. This was exactly what I needed. The earlier tension that had knotted my shoulders began to unravel, coaxed away by the steady rhythm of familiarity and the sounds of whatever half-rate slasher we put on in the background.

This was my night. A night where the world outside could wait, where the battles and uncertainties could be paused, so I could breathe. I’d missed this so much more than I’d realized, and needed it about twice as much.

"Tonight's for us," I declared softly, a promise to both Jordan and myself.

She nodded, hitting her pizza slice against mine in a silly version of a toast, and I put all my worries to the side. No matter what waited for me outside the Lily Room, it wasn’t coming for me tonight. I was allowed to take this one night off.

Everything would be fine.