Chapter 49

Some time after Elroy left and I finished my breakfast, I decided that ‘bed rest’ could be fudged a little bit. It would be fine for me to get out of bed if I was just going to get in the bath, right? The Pearl Room had an incredible claw-foot tub and I had been looking for the opportunity to take it for a spin.

Today was for pampering, after all. A nice warm bath, a face mask, maybe finally use that hair treatment… And when I was done, I could paint my nails.

If they were going to make me take a self-care day, then I was going to go all out.

I considered calling for Jordan, thinking some of the blooming jasmine from the garden would be the perfect addition to my bath water, but the idea of venturing outside myself was suddenly very appealing. The manor was gorgeous, of course, but sometimes it felt a little suffocating.

Fresh air would do me good, I decided, changing course for the gardens. It wasn’t like I was doing anything strenuous so nobody could be too mad at me. And I was supposed to be relaxing anyway, and no scent was more calming to me than jasmine.

It always made me think of my dad, of childhood, of catching fireflies by the lake while my parents cheered, whole and healthy and alive. It was a good time to go back to.

I didn’t make it to the garden.

I rounded the corner, heading to the stairs, only to freeze when I caught movement down the other hallway. I couldn’t mistake Elroy’s silhouette, that was him—putting his hands on Rita’s waist.

Rita's arms were wrapped around Elroy, their bodies pressed close. It looked like Elroy was taking most of Rita’s weight, supporting her bodily even after making a promise to me. My breath caught in my throat; I couldn’t tell for sure from this angle, but their faces were so close together they were almost certainly touching.

No, no, no. This can’t be happening. Not again.

Rita’s giggle floated over to me, and I turned and ran.

I couldn’t help it—memories flooded my mind, this exact horrible moment with Damian, the instant when my rose-colored glasses shattered and got glass in my eyes. The pain, the humiliation, the betrayal—wasn’t one time enough? Why did it have to happen again?

Was I that easy to cheat on?

My vision blurred with tears as I stumbled through the closest hallway, just wanting to get away before Elroy or Rita saw me. I couldn’t take the mocking, Louisa’s smugness on Rita’s face, Damian’s apathy on Elroy’s. I barely registered where I was going until a strong hand grasped my arm, pulling me to a stop.

"Olivia? What's wrong?" Astor asked, eyes wide and concerned. I probably looked like a ghost.

He took one look into my eyes and, without a word, led me into a nearby office.

Astor gently guided me into an armchair, kneeling down in front of me and looking at me like he wasn’t sure if I was about to have another episode or not. I wasn’t. I wasn’t panicked, just…hurt.

"It’s always me, huh," I choked out humorlessly, my hands trembling. I realized there were tears on my cheeks and wiped at them weakly. I was so tired of looking weak.

“What do you mean, Olivia?” Astor asked, ducking his head down to look at me. “What’s always you?”

I sniffed, unable to help a dark chuckle. In some cosmic way, this was almost funny. “The butt of the joke,” I told him, shaking my head.

Astor's brow furrowed. "I don’t understand,” he said, tone edged with panic.

"They were embracing, about to kiss," I explained, my voice cracking. "Or maybe they already were. Just like... just like when I caught Damian cheating."

How could I have been so naïve? I should have known better.

“Wait—wait, Olivia, slow down. What did you see?” Astor asked seriously.

“Elroy,” I croaked. “And Rita.”

It was kind of fascinating, in a distant sort of way, to watch the display of emotions warring over Astor’s face. Disbelief, anger, horror, righteous indignation, confusion—yeah, that sounded about right. “Together?” he asked.

“Kissing,” I clarified. “Or almost kissing. Rita was giggling.”

Rage won out on Astor’s face, his snarl something ugly. “Fuck!” he bit out, hands clenched like he wanted to hit something. “That—that fucker!”

My laugh was thin. “Yeah, they probably have been,” I said. “I should probably get tested.”

“Goddess, Olivia…” Astor grit out, clearly trying to push his anger aside. I appreciated it. We weren’t exactly buddies, but in that moment I was unashamed to admit that I kind of needed him there.

“At least Damian hadn’t Marked me,” I almost whispered. “Or put a baby in me. Oh god, the baby.”

"What about the baby?" Astor asked frantically, grasping for my hands.

“I think—“ I said, my mind racing, “I mean, I heard these women saying…that if I died, giving birth, Elroy could be with Rita. Make her the Luna, instead of an outsider like me, and let her raise my baby—”

“No!” Astor growled.

“I thought it was just the rumor mill,” I said, “I mean, if he just wanted the baby why Mark me and make me Luna? And I still don’t know the answer, but—but—Rita tried to frame me for murder and got a slap on the wrist. I thought that was all the council’s fault, but Elroy could have overruled them, right?”

“That fucking bastard,” Astor seethed. “I knew there was no way he was fighting hard enough!”

“This was the plan all along,” I realized numbly. It made sense—he needed a Moonshadow woman to have his child, to fulfill the prophecy, but didn’t want his mother to look at him like a monster, so he did everything right. He Marked and married me, made me Luna, only to get rid of me with the excuse that childbirth was dangerous.

Iris would never know, and he’d have his divine progeny. The only loser was me.

"My child..." I choked out, my voice barely above a whisper. "They're nothing but a tool, a carefully planned strategic maneuver."

Astor's hand rested heavily on my shoulder, his touch meant to be comforting, but I could barely feel it.

“This place, this pack—its’ all about power and manipulation,” I continued. How could I have been so blind? I’d been warned so many times.

"Olivia," Astor said, "We don't know—"

I cut him off, my voice rising with hysteria. "Don't you see? My baby will never be a person here! They'll be a pawn, a bargaining chip."

I clutched my belly protectively, my next words coming out as a broken whisper. "And they're going to hate me for bringing them into this pack."