Chapter 41

Whatever else I might have to say about the Ruby Room, it had one hell of a comfortable bed. Talking to a maybe-cannibal had really been the icing on the cake for my anxious body, the residual discomfort still keeping my shoulders tense hours later, but at least tonight I could actually sleep at a regular time. Goddess knew I needed the sleep.

But a regular bedtime meant Elroy was also awake, for the first time in quite a while. I’d gotten so used to slipping into his bed once he was already asleep, and whoever got up first never woke the other, so we hadn’t been conscious in the same room together in…what felt like a long time.

It was a little awkward, but at the same time a part of me was overjoyed. Of course it was—it was only natural for my wolf to miss the man we’d Mated. Still, Elroy’s presence next to me was just as unsettling as it was comforting.

I couldn’t help but feel like another shoe was going to drop, and I was right.

"I've been meaning to talk to you," Elroy's deep voice broke the silence, sending a shiver down my spine.

I propped myself up on my elbows, trying not to let the tension coil back into my muscles. "About what?"

He hesitated, shadows playing across his chiseled features. "My family. There's... a lot you don't know."

My heart raced as I sat up fully, drawing the dark sheets around me. He was right—there was a lot I didn’t seem to know, but I hadn’t thought he’d ever actually tell me. "I'm listening."

Elroy's eyes met mine, but he looked away quickly. There was something like shame etched into his face. “You know Astor and I are half-brothers, that we have different mothers, right?”

I nodded quickly. “Iris told me about it, just a little. Astor’s mother was the Luna, she said?” Elroy nodded, looking at his lap.

“Yes. Even though I’m older, my father didn’t make my mother his Luna, and he was never going to. He…My mom was his prisoner.”

The weight of his words hung heavy in the air. For a long moment I struggled to process this revelation; was this why Iris never seemed to leave her tower? Why she always looked a little haunted, even when she smiled?

"Elroy, I..." I began, unsure of what to say.

He shook his head, cutting me off. "You don't have to say anything. I just... needed you to know."

Elroy's voice dropped low, heavy with emotion. "My mother... she was originally from the Moonshadow pack. Did you know that?”

“I did,” I said somberly. “It’s why my parents sent me to her when no one else knew what to do for me—they knew she was the best of the best, because she’d put those skills to use for them when they were children. But didn’t she voluntarily leave the pack?”

Elroy nodded. He hadn’t looked up from his lap once. “My father wooed her, promised her the world.”

My breath caught. “He tricked her?” Elroy’s eyes shut with rage—and shame.

“He did. He brought her into Eclipse, swearing they'd rule together as equals. So she broke her pack bond with Moonshadow and followed him."

I could feel the horror sitting heavy in my gut. A banished pack member, who didn’t willingly release their bond, could potentially be invited back and have the bond restored—but a willing break, while less painful, was permanent. She would have been trapped here, with nowhere to go.

I gulped heavily, morbidly captivated. "What happened?"

"She got pregnant with me, and everything changed. He refused to marry her, to honor his promises, and when she realized the truth..." Elroy's fists clenched. "She tried to run back to Moonshadow."

My breath caught. She would have never been able to fully rejoin the pack, and the lack of pack bond would have slowly driven her insane—but she’d been willing to do that, to make sure Elroy was born somewhere safe. I knew I would do the same thing if it came down to it, but to actually have to make that choice…

"But she didn't make it," I surmised.

He shook his head. "They caught her. Brought her back. And that tower... it became her prison."

I wanted to ask him why, why on Earth his father would go through so much to get and keep this one woman when he had no true respect or love for her. I had a sinking feeling I knew the answer, and it was that damned prophecy. I realized with horror that Elroy was his father’s own attempt at fulfilling the words of a long-dead prophet.

I realized how close I came to being Iris.

I hadn’t thought about it in what felt like ages, but some of Elroy’s past words drifted back to me. I whispered, "You threatened to do the same to me."

Elroy flinched as if I'd struck him. "Olivia, I..." He reached for my hand, hesitated, then let his arm fall.

"Yes, I did,” he admitted, voice hoarse. The pain in his eyes was real, raw and vulnerable, in a way I thought he was incapable of. I wanted to forgive him—I hoped he had a good enough explanation for me to try, at least.

He swallowed heavily, eyes downcast. “I hated myself as soon as the words left my mouth, you know? I didn’t mean them, not for a second, but in that moment…I was terrified.

“I thought you were going to take my baby from me. Please understand, I only showed up to your wedding after realizing you would be the perfect Luna, and I get there just to find out I’m a father? It was…everything changed for me in that second, and the idea of never getting to meet the person I helped create…”

He stopped short, taking a deep breath as if he had to remind himself that none of that had come to pass. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

“I lashed out,” Elroy said. “There’s no excuse for what I said to you, but I thought there was no way you’d believe me if I just said it so I’ve been trying to show you. I thought it was working, but if you’re still thinking about it…”

I wanted to reach out to him. I wanted to comfort him, because I could see the guilt, the disgust, the horror, and I knew he wasn’t faking any of it.

"I understand fear," I said softly. "It makes us do things we regret."

Elroy's eyes met mine, a little hopeful and a lot desperate. "Can you forgive me, Olivia?"

I hesitated, my heart warring with my head. What if this was all a lie? It didn’t feel like one, and I’d always been good at sniffing out deception, but was that just the Mate Bond talking? How much of that joy he talked about came from paternity, and how much of it came from prophecy?

I could ask. I could ask, right now, the opportunity was right in front of me—but it felt too wrong, Elroy’s heart too exposed already. I realized with a jolt that I didn’t want to hurt him.

Goddess Above, this wasn’t just a puppy crush anymore.

My hesitation was enough, though, and I watched as Elroy’s face fell into something so hurt that it made me hurt for him. For a split second he just looked…young. Young, and scared, and so, so sorry.

He turned quickly, though, like he didn’t want me to see his reaction, and pretended to settle down for sleep. “It’s okay,” he said, “I understand. I’ll see you in the morning, right?”

My chest ached as I stared at his back, my wolf whining at me to wrap myself around him and show him my trust. I knew I couldn’t, though. I respected him too much to lie to him like that.

“…Of course you will,” I said sincerely, slowly getting myself comfortable in the bed as well. This wasn’t the end of this conversation, I knew, but there was only so much either of us could take in a night before retreating back into our shells. “And Elroy?”

“Yes?” he responded quickly.

“I’ll accept your apology as soon as I can.”

We both laid awake next to each other for a long time after that, but I didn’t feel like there was anything else to say. Not tonight, at least. For once the silence was comfortable, like we were on the same page, and I knew I should have fought it but I just didn’t have it in me.

I just wanted to enjoy that feeling, to let myself believe that I was starting to understand this man who I was forever tied to.

This man who, for better or for worse, I was falling in love with.