Chapter 31

Astor's steely eyes bore into mine, challenging, daring me to look away. But I held his gaze, my jaw clenched and shoulders squared. The air crackled with tension as we faced off in silent combat.

Seconds stretched into an eternity. My heart pounded, but I refused to show weakness. Finally, Astor's eyes flickered downward and he dipped his head in a reluctant bow.

"That's how a Luna should talk," he muttered, a hint of grudging respect in his gruff voice.

A small thrill of satisfaction coursed through me, but I kept my expression neutral. It was only right that he defer to me, whether he liked it or not, and it was below me to thank him for it.

“I’m glad we understand each other,” I said evenly.

Astor grunted and stalked away, his pride clearly displeased at having to bow his head, but that was too bad for him. I’d watched my mother deal with Alphas who didn’t want to address a woman as their better and I knew what I signed up for. I watched him silently as his massive frame disappeared around the corner.

A few moments later I heard the library door open and close, and I breathed out in shaky relief as I sagged back into my seat. I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the headache pressing against the inside of my skull. I had to work with this guy.

The council definitely had it out for me.

I realized I had to call it a night before the headache actually killed, only pulling the crime scene photos into an approximate pile for morning-me to deal with before heading to my room. I sank onto the plush bed in the Pearl Room, my body aching with exhaustion. The mattress embraced me like a cloud, and for a second I just basked in it.

Then responsibility set in, and I wanted to groan.

"I shouldn't be here," I whispered to the empty room. "The baby needs nourishment."

My hand drifted to my stomach, cradling the precious life within. My baby needed nourishment from his other Alpha parent, the doctor had been very clear and my own experience backed it up, but wasn’t he already asleep? I’d hate to wake him.

That was just an excuse, though, and I knew it.

It was just getting to be too much, and the thought of facing him, of enduring another moment of confusion and mixed signals, made my chest constrict. The baby was just nourished, and it took weeks for it to be a problem…

"Just one more night," I promised myself. "Tomorrow, I'll do what needs to be done."

A sharp tug in my mind jolted me awake. My wolf's presence flooded my senses, and instantly unease prickled along my skin. She’d never woken me before, and the only thing keeping me from immediate panic was how calm she felt.

So instead I blinked, disoriented, only to freeze at the sight before me.

Elroy sat on the edge of the bed, his large hand splayed across my lower belly and warming my skin even through my pajamas. His eyes were closed, brow furrowed in concentration.

He’s nourishing the pup, my wolf said. Can’t you feel it?

And I could. I had to strain to notice it, but there was something a little like a flow, something I couldn’t put words to but could feel now that I was paying attention. It wasn’t a pleasant or unpleasant feeling, just something that was there, that I knew was supposed to be there.

I looked up at Elroy, his eyes still closed, and in spite of it all I was struck again by his beauty. In the silvery wash of the moonlight he looked like carved marble, but warm and breathing and live. It made me think of the story of Pygmalion, the sculptor who carved the perfect woman and fell so in love with her that he begged the goddess Aphrodite to bring her to life.

I was prone to fits of fancy half-asleep, it seemed.

"Elroy?" I whispered, my voice rough with sleep.

His eyes snapped open, shock evident. "Olivia, I... I didn't mean to wake you."

I propped myself up on my elbows, acutely aware of his touch still warming my stomach. "What are you doing here?"

Elroy withdrew his hand, the absence of his warmth leaving me oddly cold. He cleared his throat, avoiding my gaze. "The baby needed nourishment. I could feel it, even from the Ruby Room."

A pang of guilt stabbed through me. "I'm sorry, I should have come to you."

"No, I..." He ran a hand through his tousled hair. "Look, just... come to the Ruby Room, alright? No matter how late you work.”

“I figured I could ask tomorrow, when we were both awake,” I said lamely.

“Don’t worry about that,” Elroy shook his head. “I might not like being woken up, but I’ll do it any day if it helps our pup.”

I nodded, feeling small and foolish. "Elroy, about last time we spoke-"

He held up a hand, cutting me off. "It's fine, Olivia. Let's just... go back to normal now, okay?"

"Normal," I echoed, the word tasting bitter on my tongue. I wanted to ask what "normal" even meant for us, but instead, I simply nodded again.

Elroy stood, his imposing frame casting a shadow in the moonlit room. "Get some rest," he murmured, then strode towards the door.

As it clicked shut behind him, I sank back onto the pillows, my mind whirling. ‘Normal.’ He wanted ‘normal’? We were a couple thrown together by one night and political schemes, there was nothing normal about us.

I wished we had a normal, some routine we could lean back on; I yearned for clarity, for some definitive understanding of where we stood. But 'normal' for us had always been a maze of unspoken feelings and half-formed intentions.

I stared at the ceiling, my emotions churning like a stormy sea. Elroy's presence still lingered in the air, a mix of his snowy scent and the paradoxical warmth of his body.

'Normal.' The word echoed in my head, mocking me. What was normal about any of this? A loveless mating, a pregnancy that might be prophetic, and a Mate who ran hot and cold like a faulty faucet?

I wanted to scream, to rage against the unfairness of it all. But instead, I lay there, silent and still, as the moonlight crept across the floor.

It wasn't good for me to be yanked around like this, always given mixed signals. It would be easier for me if he just had the decency to hate me. At least then I could hate him back.