Chapter 136

Olivia POV

It was getting late when we arrive at the inn where, so long ago it seemed now, I had switched placed with Ines. The hostess welcomed us without question, for which I felt nothing but grateful.

Jordan and Orlando came with me to what the hostess said was the best room at the inn. I admit I was dubious, but when we entered I thought for a moment we had stepped into a new room at the Palace, though little there was as cozy and welcoming as the large room with its canopied bed, overstuffed furniture, and fireplace big enough to be a room of its own.

But it was more than the furniture that made the room so welcoming. Care and thoughtfulness had obviously been taken to arrange paintings and decorative objects to make the room feel lived-in but not cluttered. Unlike the rooms at the Palace, this was a place to put people at ease, not to impress them with the owners’ power.

I thought perhaps as Luna I could oversee a change in the direction of the Palace décor to match this room, but then I remembered I might not be Luna for much longer.

So, I wanted smile and feel happy at such a lovely sight, but I couldn’t.

A Luna who is rejected by her Alpha does not do well in life afterward.

How could Elroy say that to me? How could he stand there and just tell me my life was a lie? That everything we had shared was a lie?

I wanted to blame Emma for everything, but it was Elroy who had said those words, and though I could see he regretted them, he meant them at the time.

“You need a change of clothes,” Orlando said.

“We didn’t have time to pack, you might remember,” Jordan told him with a frown.

Orlando nodded. “I thought I would go to into town and purchase some basics.”

“It’s a kind thought,” I said, “but I can spend two days in the same robes without scandalizing the Goddess.”

“Surely you’re going to be gone for more than a day or two,” Orlando said.

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now except that I needed to get out of the Palace so I could think.” I turned away from him and Jordan and went to look out the window. I could see the glow of moonlight on the leaves of the trees outside, but the moon herself wasn’t visible.

Give me strength, I prayed. Help me see what I should do now.

“We should go to Harp House,” Orlando said next. “We can keep you safe there.”

“Orlando,” Jordan said. “It’s obvious you mean well, but you are forgetting your place. The Luna will be consulting the Goddess, not us, about what she should do next. She will make the decisions about her safety and about the good of the Pack.”

“Of course. I didn’t mean otherwise.”

I heard the hurt in Orlando’s voice.

“Didn’t you? I realize you feel a beta’s need to serve and protect our Luna, but mind yourself.”

I tuned out of the conversation as it continued behind me. Jordan and Orlando could engage with each other without my supervision.

A Luna who is rejected by her Alpha does not do well in life afterward.

What did that even mean, other than that he wasn’t in love with me anymore, if he ever had been? What was the nature of that specific threat?

Looking out into the darkness of the outside world, I tried to imagine a path without Alpha Elroy in my life, let alone at my side.

I could hole up in Moonshadow Keep. I could raise our pup behind the raised walls and keep Elroy from ever seeing either of us again. It would be a life bounded by fear, a coward’s life, while Emma and Elroy did Goddess knew what with the rest of Lunaris.

But it would be safe. My child would be safe. The temptation to consider nothing else almost overwhelmed me. My various duties tore at me: Luna, wife, mother, Alpha, and daughter to an Alpha, one I had left back at the Palace.

History would not judge me if I put the safety of my child first, but no. Despite Orlando’s well-meaning suggestion, it simply wasn’t an option. I had already decided against it, and now that the opportunity to take such shelter was upon me, I needed to stick to my decisions.

Someone knocked on the door. I turned as Jordan let in our hostess, who was holding a bundle.

“I saw you brought no luggage, Luna,” she said. “I hope these will do.” She laid the bundle on the bed to reveal a pair of nightgowns and a nightshirt, which I supposed was for Orlando. It was clear the clothes were much finer than the simple gray dress and sensible shows the hostess herself was wearing, and I wondered if perhaps I was looking at garments other lodgers had left behind that she had washed—I could make out the smells of soap and lavender—and tucked away for a time like this.

“You’re more than kind,” I told her.

“I cannot stay in this room with the Luna and her beta,” Orlando said as though he were offering an unexpected insight. “Do you have a room for me? Anything will do.”

“No, Orlando,” I said. Both he and the hostess looked at me in surprise.

I crossed the room to take her hands in mine. “Thank you so very much. You must be tired now. Please feel free to retire for the evening.”

She looked uncertain but then nodded. “Thank you, Luna.”

Orlando barely waited until she left before turning to me.

“I can stay and be helpful,” he said. His eyes were pleading, and I could no longer ignore that his feelings for me weren’t limited to what they should be.

“I know,” I said, and I tried to make my tone calm but stern. “But there’s no need. Jordan and I can take it from here.”

“You’re vulnerable here,” the young beta said.

I exchanged a glance with Jordan, who looked worried.

“If you want to be of service to your Luna,” I said, “then please return to the Palace and tell Alpha Claudia that I am all right.”

“But I want to be with you.” And then I could see he was going to say it: “I love—”

“If you have any respect for your Luna, you will not finish that sentence,” I snapped, suddenly tired of his nonsense, which was cruel, I supposed. I just couldn’t deal with him right now.

Orlando looked deeply unhappy. “Yes, Luna.”

Goddess, but I felt like a jerk now. I tried to say something nice that wouldn’t give him hope. “You’re a loyal young man. You will make a fine mate just as you make a loyal member of Lunaris Pack.”

“I’m Moonshadow first.”

“I’m going to do you the courtesy of pretending I didn’t hear that.”

“But—”

OK, I had seriously had enough. “Orlando, return to the Palace and tell my mother I am all right before she wakes up and wonders where I am. Go now.”

“Yes, Luna Olivia.”