Chapter 117

Olivia POV

I had certainly known fear and sorrow before, but nothing in my life before had brought about the devastation I knew as we walked the battlefield to find the wounded and count the dead.

Elroy, of course, had wanted to take on the task himself. The medics had forbidden it, and one slipped him something to put him to sleep.

Beta Elliot had wanted to forbid me as well, but I just looked at him until he stepped aside and then accompanied me as I walked outside.

Given Elroy’s mercy, the carnage could have been worse, but somehow that made nothing better as we looked out over the field. So many dead wolves. So many lives lost for nothing.

I saw a medic shaking his head over a fallen wolf breathing her last, and without thought I transformed into the silver wolf to call down the power of the Goddess to heal her enough that she would live.

Everyone watched, transfixed, as the silver light in my fur wrapped around her. In a second, it was gone, but then the wolf was breathing more easily, and the medic leaned back down over her.

Not far from there, I saw another soldier whose medic was gray-faced. I bounded over and healed him as well, but then when I would have done it again, a great weariness took over me, and I felt the Goddess warn me another healing would both fail and hurt me terribly. I put my skin back on and explained as much to Elliot.

“The Goddess does well to explain your limitations before they overtake you,” he said. He looked around us solemnly as I considered his words.

Truly, I was using the Goddess’s energy, and while she was limitless, I was not. Luna I might be, but I was still just a wolf with a wolf’s body.

And a wolf’s soul, I thought. What sort of corruption might overcome me if I could just heal people at will? As much as I wanted to stretch out my arms and help everyone around me, I understood the Goddess’s wisdom in protecting me from myself.

I was grateful beyond words that I could call upon the Goddess’s power to help others, but it was a power to be used sparingly.

In the end, we sorted through the bodies and made sure everyone still breathing had someone to look after them. As the sun set, I stood before a newly erected tent and made my pleas to the Goddess for mercy and health. Several wolves joined me in prayer, and then something happened more disturbing than anything before it.

A pregnant beta woman wearing the colors of Moonshadow Pack greeted me as I turned to go inside the tent, “Luna.”

I looked at her while forcing back the impulse to tell her to leave me alone and allow me to go to bed. Instead, I just asked, “Yes?”

“Please, I ask you to bless my child.” She gestured at her slightly swollen stomach.

I nodded. “I am happy to ask the Goddess to bless your child.”

She smiled, and I saw she looked as tired as I felt. “Thank you, but I meant you, Luna. Please, will you bless my child?”

My mind actually locked up for a moment. When I could speak again, I told her, “It’s not for me to bless her.”

She looked ready to object. I put up a hand and saw it was stained with dried blood.

“But I am happy to wish your child health and happiness.” I smiled at her, willing her to go away and take her blasphemy with her.

She nodded but looked a little disappointed. Too bad.

“Thank you, Luna.” She bowed just slightly and left. Making sure I caught no one’s eyes, I turned at last and walked into the peace of the tent where Elroy was sleeping.

My heart lifted, if somewhat weakly, at the sight of him. As befitted his status, they’d erected a real bed for him, not just a field cot. His head rested on a pillow of fine cotton, and his battered but healing body was covered in velvet-wrapped feathers.

I walked to his side and gazed down at his face, quiet and peaceful, the line of exhaustion eased. Quietly, I slipped out of my clothes, walked around to the other side of the bed, and slid in next to him.

Thank you, Goddess. Thank you we are here together. Help us to heal both in body and spirit, both the two us and everyone who fought today.

I think I had intended to say more, but I fell asleep.

It was two days before Elroy had recovered enough to walk back to the Palace. Of course, we could have returned earlier, but he refused to take a carriage “like some pup.” I bit my tongue in an effort bot to blurt out that he’d been fine with my taking a carriage. It wasn’t worth the offended silence.

We walked in our fur at first. It was still wonderful to me to be able to transform at will, and it was an incredible relief to leave the stench of the battlefield.

We should put a marker there, I heard Elroy say through the mindlink. It was incredibly useful to be able to speak so clearly while still in our fur. Something to mark the dead. Something to remind us what happens when we ignore any of our own kind.

Yes. I sent back the simple assent. We have already spoken of Elroy’s realization that he had not been treating the Rogues as well as other wolves. I suppose they were even lower than omegas in most alphas’ estimations, so I was surprised at his insight.

For my part, I had shared my dislike of the “please bless my child” request and given Elroy the details I remembered about the two boys I had saved.

“I remember the fallout from those experiments when they were exposed,” he said as we lay on the bed, his arms around me. I confess I had wanted to make love, but we both knew he wasn’t healed enough, and he’d said he wanted to be fully healthy before we joined again. “But I didn’t realize Ravencrest was behind them.”

“To be fair, we only have Denis’s word for it,” I said. “But we should investigate.”

“Agreed.”

Now, as we walked beneath a sky full of white wisps that somehow made the rest of the sky that much bluer, I thought of the many tasks ahead of us. I would soon be too pregnant to move about easily, and then after the pup came I would be busy caring for him. Of course, I would have help from the Palace staff, but I wasn’t just fobbing my child off on nannies.

I supposed I would have felt overwhelmed by the duties of motherhood that faced me, but I was reassured that Elroy would be a good father, certainly a better one than his own had been.

I thought again about the little vial in its pouch at my waist. What was it, and why had Denis spent his last moments in this world giving it to me?

I felt it tingle against me, and though excited I was noticing it. As the skyline of the Palace came into view, I worried about what I would be bringing within its walls.