Chapter 49

Claire’s POV

Dinner time has always been my favorite and comfortable time for me. This time has always been peaceful because it is filled with children's laughter and chatter and debate over what tastes the best in dinner and my gentle reminders to children about eating vegetables.

This time was safe for my family.

But tonight was surprisingly different. Gideon had joined us again.

He sat at the head of the table again, his presence was relaxing yet commanding without any effort.

The children welcomed him eagerly, chattering over one another to share their little victories from the day. Leo tugged on his sleeve and told him proudly that he had finished his homework early. Nova on the other hand told me happily that she also learned how to draw a bird.

Gideon listened to the kids patiently as he nodded and praised the kids.

It was strange, seeing him like this. He usually kept himself busy with pack duties and always been untouchable and aloof. But now he became part of the dinner time so easily. Like he had always been meant to sit at this table.

I again focused on my role, as soon as the food was served I picked up the spoon to taste it but Gideon stopped me again and he tested the food again and nodded at me as if to say the food is safe. The memory of him holding my wrist still made me feel unsettled.

So I fell back into routine, ensuring the children had their plates filled, cutting Nova’s meat into smaller pieces.

It was then I noticed Nova looking at the food thoughtful.

She sat beside me unconsciously playing with the spoon. Her dark eyes followed the food with obvious interest, but she made no move to eat.

“Not hungry?” I whispered softly, so only Nova could hear my voice.

Nova looked at me with her big innocent eyes and shook her head but she looked at me longingly.

I frowned. “Nova…” I picked up a piece of roasted carrot and held it toward her. “Here, try this.”

She blinked and hesitated. Then she smiled shyly and leaned forward and ate it from my hand. She chewed and looked at me happily as if she won something precious.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “ooh, so that's why you weren't eating, hm?”

She nodded with a toothy smile and opened her mouth expecting me to feed her more.

A warmth I hadn’t felt in days crept into my chest. I smiled lovingly at Nova as I finally gave in and fed her small pieces which she ate happily and giggled with satisfaction.

It was such a simple thing, but the joy in her eyes made the heaviness of the day fade, if only for a moment.

That's when I felt someone stare at me. This time it was not Gideon's stare.

When I looked across the table, I saw Leo watching us. His plate was barely touched, his fork idle in his hand. His face betrayed little, but his eyes… they were conflicted.

Jealous.

My heart ached knowing even though he is my son he didn't receive any affection, he doesn't even know his mother is with him.

I remembered how timid and shy he was when he met me, he hardly had anyone he could trust. My sweet boy never asked for anything except love and affection but now I could tell the way he looked at me, he also wanted me to feed him like I did to Nova.

Leo asked to feed him from his eyes, which I will gladly do.

“Leo,” I spoke gently and got his attention. “Not hungry?.” He blinked, then looked quickly down at his plate. “I’m fine.”

It was his automatic reply but I don't blame him knowing he had went through a lot which made him put on a strong facade. My chest ached as he lied.

I picked up a small piece of bread and gently held it toward him like I did with Nova and asked him gently “Do you want me to feed you too?”

He looked at me quickly and blushed. “No! I can do it myself.”

“I know you can.” I said gently with a calm voice. I didn’t pull my hand back. “But sometimes, it's okay to let people take care of you.”

The words hung in the air between us. He looked at me thoughtfully as if he was torn between longing and pride. I kept my eyes steady and gentle as I looked at him, letting him know there was no judgment and mockery. I am just giving him an offer.

For a long moment, I thought he would refuse. But then he relaxed and leaned forward and ate bread from my hand. He chewed the bread quickly as if he was afraid that this moment would be taken from him if he hesitated too much.

When he chewed, the emotions of his face changed completely. The tension that always seemed to live in his features eased. His eyes softened, brightened. After he swallowed the bread, he looked at me again but instead of his pride, I saw the vulnerability on his face.

I tore off another piece and offered it. This time he didn't hesitate. He took it quietly, then another, and another.

Each bit he ate made the walls around his heart crumble a little. He pressed his lips into a thin line but I can tell he wanted to speak. He kept on blinking trying to stop the tears from coming out.

“Miss Warrior, thank you.” He whispered only for me to hear it.

I smiled softly, reaching out to brush his hair back from his forehead. “You don’t have to thank me I am your..Miss Warrior afterall.”

But I knew he wasn’t thanking me for food. There was deeper meaning to that thank you, he was thanking me for filling the gap of his mother.

The thought almost made me want to expose myself and tell him I am his mother. I swallowed hard trying to control my tears. I looked at Nova who just looked at me proudly, she didn't feel bad that I fed Leo too. Which made me calm down a bit.

The was now peacefully quiet as the children talked in more hushed voices but me feeding Leo and Nova will be one of the precious memories I will have.

It was only then that I let myself glance toward Gideon.

He was watching us. His expression was unreadable but the more I looked carefully the more I saw the softness in his eyes, his eyes were content and peaceful as he saw his son was finally taken care of the way he should have.

And beneath the peaceful expression, I saw something else. A shadow.

I didn’t need to guess what it was. His mind hasn't forgotten the garden incident. He said I am not just a bodyguard, those words somehow made me think, it was a sort of confession or explanation, the line I tried to keep between us was there.

But he had crossed that line.

Even now, as he looked at me across the table, I could feel the question in his gaze. Was that really all I wanted to be? Just Leo's bodyguard?

I looked away from him quickly as my chest tightened.

I didn’t have the courage to answer that question. At least not tonight.

So I focused on the children instead, on wiping crumbs from Nova’s chin, on encouraging Leo to finish his glass of milk, and listening to children arguing over dessert.

This is my duty as bodyguard and as mother. This is the place i am supposed to be.

I looked at Leo who now looked happier as he ate the rest of the bread and I was not able to deny the truth anymore.

The children wanted me but more than just a bodyguard, they needed someone who would not just feed them food but affection as well.

And Gideon had seen it too.