Chapter 30

KARIN POV

“Up and out with the doctor again, huh?” Maggie asked as she dusted the lamp fixtures in my room. “You two have been spending a lot of time together.”

“Mags, spending time with the doctor who is aiding in my healing comes with the territory of getting better. I bet you wouldn’t be giving me such a hard time if it was Doc.”

“Because if it was Doc, we would also have updated information on your ability to remain a surrogate.” She placed her hands on her hips. “It seems that Dr. Woods has forgotten that’s part of his job too. Doc took detailed notes so that the new doctor could follow and continue to monitor you before and during pregnancy.”

I know Maggie has a point, but it doesn’t mean that I want her to. Spending time with Ethan had helped me in ways I hadn’t thought it would. Ansel was nowhere in sight and though Maggie confirmed he was still working day and night dealing with the casinos, deep down, I knew that our conversation was the true reason that he wasn’t around. I missed him like crazy to the point that it threatened to drive me back into depression. As twisted as it sounded, at least when I was with Ethan, I could put Ansel to the back of my mind and pretend things were normal. I couldn’t help but fear that if he started to monitor me for surrogacy, I would become miserable about Ansel all over again.

“I’ll bring it up to him today. I don’t know how much good it will do with the Second Prince still gone, but you’re right, that is part of his duties and mine.”

Maggie says nothing, but her thoughts are all over her face. Hearing a knock at the door, she leaves to let Ethan in.

“Well look at you up and running,” he says with a warm smile.

I return the gesture. “Up yes, running no.” We laugh, and I see Maggie mock us behind his back.

“Real mature,” I link to her.

She playfully rolls her eyes and retreats to clean another part of the villa. Grabbing my coat, Ethan points to the door. “Want to go for a walk? I know it’s later than usual, but I think the shock of you healing has worn off. Plus there’s something I want to show you.”

“Actually…” I say as I fiddle with my hair. “I was thinking you could examine me today.”

“Is something going on? Your results yesterday looked great.”

“No not that. I meant examine my viability for surrogacy.”

Ethan's face immediately falls. “Oh…”

“Yeah, I mean, I realize that it’s been some time now and we haven’t gotten around to it or even talking about it. You’ve been polite not to mention it, but I know you are aware of why I’m here. I get that I’m not ready to try to conceive, but I figure Doc was keeping meticulous notes, that probably should continue. What do you think?”

“No, of course,” he says, shutting the door. “I’m actually glad you brought it up. I didn’t want to rush you, but you’re right, we should keep track of everything.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t have those specific supplies on me today, but tomorrow I’ll bring them.”

“Wait. I think Doc left a lot of supplies in that cabinet over there. Everything you need should be in it.”

Walking over, Ethan opens the cabinet, then places his hands on his hips. “Yes, it seems like everything is here.”

“A-are you okay?” I ask, sensing how uncomfortable he is.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yes, I’m alright. I’m going to get setup and then we can get started.” I watch his movements. They are slow, restrained and somehow almost painful. Finishing, he buries his face in the doctor’s notes. “Based on the last notation from Doc, you and Sir Ansel have not had sex…has that change?”

“No it hasn’t.”

“Is there, um, a specific reason that it has never happened?”

I chuckled out of nervousness. “I guess Doc didn’t put in how many times I made a fool of myself trying to be a seductress. I’m slowly learning that sexy is not my forte.”

“I disagree,” Ethan whispered. Looking up from his papers, the red of his face matched mine. He clears his throat. “Your levels have maintained steady, and I think with the way you’re healing, we can resume your shots. I'll bring one my next visit.” He motioned for me to lie back on the bed. “Do you feel comfortable? If not, I can always have Maggie come in, so there is another person in the room.”

“It’s fine,” I say, giving him a reassuring smile. “I know I’m in good hands.” Ethan nods and begins the examination, and I can’t help but notice how different his touch feels compared to Ansel’s. Where Ansel touch is demanding, and almost primal, Ethan touches me as if I’m a porcelain doll, he’s worried he’ll break. It wasn’t bad, just different, and was another moment that clued me to Ethan’s gentle nature.

“Alright. From what I can see, as long as you keep with your recovery, conceiving shouldn’t be a problem.”

“That’s good news.”

He nods but remains silent. “I should get going.”

“But I thought you said there was something you wanted to show me.”

“It’s not important.”

“O-okay.” As he packs his items, the glint of something in his bag catches my attention. “What’s that?” I ask, pointing.

“Nothing.” I cut my eyes at him, and he sighed. “Don’t be angry.” Reaching in his bag, he pulls out a pair of pink sequined ballet shoes. They are beautiful and I can tell they’re custom made. “I sort of conned Maggie into telling me your shoe size. With how great you’ve been doing, I thought maybe you would see these and—”

“And what? Magically be able to dance again?”

“No, but I thought maybe they would make you want to try.”

The longer I look at the shoes, the more my anger grows. “Well I don’t. Look, I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate the gesture because they’re amazing and thoughtful, but they’re honestly a slap in the face. You said that you wouldn’t push me, but here you are with shoes that remind me of what I lost.”

“I’m not pushing you. I’m encouraging you. There’s a difference and you know it. I’m not just someone who doesn’t understand your condition. I’m your doctor.”

“Then you out of everyone should know how unrealistic what you’re asking me to do is!” I shouted, unable to hold back any longer.

“Why?!” he retorts, running his hands through his hair. “Karin, I have watched you make amazing strides, but when it comes to dancing, you shut down!”

“Because I don’t want to fail!”

“You won’t!”

“How do you know?!”

“Because I’ve seen you perform enough to know that talent like yours doesn’t just disappear!” My eyes widened, and Ethan looked up at the ceiling. “Shit,” he mumbles.

“Y-you’ve seen me perform?”

He exhaled sharply. “Yes.”

“When?”

Finally looking at me, Ethan covers his mouth. “The first time was when I was twelve.”