Chapter 29
“If I wasn’t so happy that you’re doing better, I would be offended,” Maggie says as she playfully scowls at me.
I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. “Sorry, I’ve been such a pain. I’ve been healing better than I expected, and it’s caught me by surprise. It’s been on heck of a ride and honestly, even though physically I felt like I was getting better, mentally was a different story.”
“I get it and I’m glad that you felt comfortable sharing now. What brought about the change?”
“Dr. Ethan. He made me realize that my healing didn’t mean that people expected me to be completely alright. I still have a long way to go and those around who care about me will understand…including you.”
“I have been told that he’s a smart man,” she replied, smirking.
“What’s with the face?”
“Oh nothing. I’m just thinking that one would have to be blind not to notice how handsome the good doctor is.”
“Don’t start.”
Maggie raised her hands defensively. “I would never dream of it. You two seem to have a unique relationship already is what I’m getting at. If there was an attraction there, I couldn’t lie and say that I didn’t see it coming. He seems very invested in you.”
“Maggie, he’s my doctor.”
“He’s also a man. Don’t get me wrong, I want you and Sir Ansel to end up together, but I also want you to be honest with yourself even if you can’t be with me. The last thing you need on top of everything is a surprise romance. Be alert.”
“Noted. By the way, how are things in the manor?”
She shrugged. “The same as they have always been. The butler is butlering, us maids are maiding and those who don’t have jobs as servants come and go as they please.”
“Oh, and the livestock?”
“Lady Karin,” Maggie said, giggling. “How about you ask me what you really want to know.”
“What’s that?”
“About Sir Ansel. I mean seriously, when have you ever cared about livestock?”
I bite the side of my bottom lip and contemplate if I should continue with the facade. “Fine,” I say, sighing. “You caught me. How is he?”
“I wouldn’t know. He has hardly been back to the manor. Henry tells me he is focused and as determined as he’s always been. A new underground casino popped up and once he heard about it, Sir Ansel set out on a mission with the gammas.”
I can see the worry on her face, and suddenly it hits me I’m not the only one in the room who has someone they care about putting their life on the line. “Henry is going to be okay, Mags,” I say, and she smiles softly.
“So will Sir Ansel.” As we continued to chat, I noticed Maggie furrowed her brow again. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of the gossip at the manor, but I feel I should tell you.”
“I’m not a fan of gossip.”
“Neither am I, but I’m a fan of this. The butler told me he overheard the Sir Ansel giving his gammas specific instructions to ban Lady Cherry from the Manor. Apparently, her original visit was sanctioned by the king and not him.” I don’t respond, and she nudges me. “I thought you would be happy about that.”
“I’m not sure how to feel, but I appreciate you telling me.” I steady myself and begin to get dressed for Ethan’s visit. “What I know is that everything has gone outside of the realm of the original deal and that’s just as much my fault as his. I can’t take back the things said or done, but at this point if he opts to keep me around, I’m going to try to steer things back to focus.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m going to listen for once and stop being so eager to take control of a narrative that he put in place. It hasn’t benefited me prior, so why keep fighting?”
“You’re giving up?”
I shake my head. “More like giving in. Six months will end before we know it and a baby will determine what happens to me outside these walls, but it won’t keep me in them. Doc said I need to focus on recovery and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m opting to be responsible and allowing things to play out the way they do. If Dr. Ethan is going to help me get better, then I’m going to be my trust and effort in him.
“In other words, may the best man win?” she asked, rubbing her arm up and down her sleeve. “Forgive me for saying, but I don’t think this is the route that you want to go down, especially with Sir Ansel. It may sound good in theory, but I don’t think it will play out in your favor. I’m not sure what your last conversation entailed, but I know the Second Prince only reacts to things he’s passionate about. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”
“I promise I have no ulterior motive. Believe me, I want nothing more than to give Ansel his heir, but nothing is working, and my injuries have become just another thing that is a hindrance.” I sigh. “I don’t know what else to do, Mags, but I’m not giving up. I’m just putting it on the backburner.”
“I understand. You’re right. Things will work out how they are meant to, no sense in driving yourself insane trying to force them.” Giving me a deep hug, she hands me a shirt. “Now, please get dress before the doctor arrives. I don’t want to have to bear witness to him fawning over you.”
The Next Day
ANSEL POV
“Aron, you linked saying it was an emergency and yet here I am in your office watching you inhale grapes.”
Aron popped another green grape into his mouth. “Are you telling me you never get peckish during battle?”
“Maybe, but I don’t eat grapes in the middle of tearing someone’s head from their shoulders.”
“Perhaps you should. I’ve known you long enough to have seen how grumpy you return after missions.”
Ansel’s nostrils flared. “What is it you want, Aron? I have a briefing in ten minutes on updates about the new underground casino.”
Putting his grapes down, Aron placed one leg over the other. “Yes, well I won’t keep you. I wanted to know how your boner has been doing?”
“Excuse me?!”
Aron coughed. “Admittedly, when I thought of that question in my head, it sounded a lot more professional and not anything that would get me in trouble for sexual harassment. What I meant was, how are things going with Karin? Any new developments?” At the sound of her name, Ansel’s jaw immediately twitched. Aron nodded. “That bad, huh?”
“No. There’s nothing to tell. She’s recovering and I’ve been busy. There is no way that our deal is even up for discussion right now.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that there couldn’t be any progress in your relationship overall. Have you been to visit her?”
Ansel felt his anger rise as he thought about the last conversation he had with Karin. “I told you what she said to me the last time I saw her. Why would I visit someone who basically told me she would have stayed with me if I hadn’t been so sick?”
“When I was eighteen, I wanted to be a psychiatrist.”
“What?” Ansel asked, scrunching his face.
“There’s a point to the upcoming story, I promise. Anyway, when I was eighteen, I’d somehow convinced myself that I was meant to be a psychiatrist. I had plans to wear glasses—even though I have perfect eyesight—and owning this successful practice. I had all these grand plans and designs for how my life would be.”
“Okay…but you are a psychiatrist.”
Aron slapped his knee in laughter. “Now! But back then all it took was a web search to convince me I had lost my mind, and I bailed. I tried every other career I could think of…including rodeo clown.” He saw Ansel’s eyes widen and he rubbed his forehead. “Those were some dark days, my friend. Anyway, today you’re looking at one hell of a psychiatrist. Do you get where I’m going with this?”
“No. Honestly, I’m more confused than when you started the story.”
Aron pointed at his temple. “Mind ninja,” he said. “The point I’m making is that at eighteen I’d found my dream. I knew what I wanted, but I wasn’t ready. I can sit here and paint it as something more than what it was, but the fact is I bailed, BUT when life brought the opportunity back around, I was determined to do everything in my power to achieve my goal.
“There are some people that are ready the moment an opportunity presents itself to them. They work hard, they achieve, and they get what they want, and that’s great, but it doesn’t negate that this is not everyone’s journey. Sometimes we aren’t ready, but if it’s something we’re meant to have, trust it will come back around in one form or another.
“The truth is you both were kids! And to add to that, you were royalty and while I have the utmost respect for our Alpha, he’s always pushed you to be in his image. Ansel, you could have given up the world for her, and you two would have still never had a normal life. Add being deathly sick, that’s enough to scare anyone so young, especially someone not from your world. Hell, you’ve grown to be a mass murderer and a woman half your size is bringing you to your knees.”
Ansel exhaled sharply. “I’m tired of people assuming I have killed that many people.”
Aron chuckled. “Is that all you got from my speech? Jesus.” He put on his lens less glasses and flipped through his notepad. “The last count I have on your reign of justifiable assassinations is three hundred—”
“Stop keeping count of that!” Ansel yelled, rubbing his forehead. “You may have a point about Karin and me, but that doesn’t take away from what she did.”
“And it shouldn’t, but why continue to emotionally invest in a person you’re not willing to forgive? If it was over for you, you would have never told me line by line what she said and subconsciously waited for my verdict. From what you told me, she stated those were her past feelings, not her present. Maybe instead of trying to force her to figure out what she feels now, do some self-reflection of your own. That way, you two can stop driving everyone around you nuts, and finally have a child.”
