Chapter 19
My entire body shook in front of him as I processed his request. His eyes shifted in color, and he watched silently, waiting for my next move. Hot tears burn my eyes, but I hold them off and close them. “Fine. If that’s what you want,” I say.
I grabbed the hem of his pants and his breathing pattern harshen. Fumbling with his buckle, my bottom lip trembles, but I refuse to let him see me fall apart. Ansel grips my hand, stopping me, and I open my eyes. His eyes softened back to their blue, carrying a calm but brewing storm.
“Wow…” he whispered as he distanced himself from me. He sat back on the bed. “Is that what you really think of me?” he asked.
I sit on the floor, still shaken. “Honestly, I don’t know what to think of you anymore. I don’t understand you at all.”
“Then you aren’t paying attention.” He places his head in his hands. “Why do you insist on making me out to be a villain? How could you think of me as such an ugly thing?”
Standing, I walk over to him and rub his hair. He shudders under my touch. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to be right, and I don’t want your apology,” he says, pulling away. He stood and pointed at the incense that was still burning. “I want you to pay attention. I want you to understand why I don’t want any of this! I don’t want to smell a foreign fragrance surrounding you or see you in lingerie that looks like it belongs to someone else. I want you to grasp how poisoning it is to live in the middle of hate and—” He paced and ran his fingers through his hair. “Why can’t you realize that everything I’ve done is because I need the one you refuse to give me?” The frustration on his face made him look more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen.
I can no longer hold my tears, and they fall down my cheeks. “Then tell me, please. What is it you need?” I ask.
Ansel clasped my face between his hands and wiped a tear from my cheek. The once calm storm in his eyes was now a full out hurricane. “I need…” he said with a look of confusion on his face. “I need…” He locked our lips in a heated kiss that took my breath away. Slipping his tongue into my mouth, he picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. We land on the bed, but our kiss doesn’t break. I grip into his back, and a whisper floats in my mind.
“Ada, why did she reject him?”
I freeze at the sound of Ansel’s wolf’s voice.
“He needs to know.”
Ada remains silent, and Ansel leans upward. He peers at me. “Tell me the truth,” he says, and I realize he’s not the only one who’s been tricked tonight. I try to look away, but the power of his gaze keeps me captive, willing me to tell the truth. I know it would break him more than he’s already broken if the words managed to somehow fall from my lips. “I need to know, Little Wolf. Why? Why did you reject and leave me?”
I feel like I’m being ripped into a thousand pieces under his stare. “Ada, please help me,” I beg, and she stands to attention. She gives a deep growl, and I can feel my eyes slowly shift in color. I grit my teeth through the pain and maintain his gaze. Like Ada, I don’t speak.
Ansel’s eyes slowly widen, and the pain on his face sears into my heart. “You were telling the truth,” he whispered. “You really rejected me because you no longer loved me.” The lock of his powers on me loosens, and he sits up. “I understand now.” He doesn’t look at me, but he doesn’t need to. The heat permeating from his skin juxtaposing with the coldness of his words tells me he’s gone once again.
I know Ada can feel Jeff’s anguish too, and I find myself in a place between wanting Ansel to both stay and go. Call it selfish, but I’d rather his anger than this. His sadness was as soul splitting as it was when I rejected him. That day was the first time I’d ever witnessed any display of negative feelings towards me from him. Prior to that, even when I did something that made him angry, he was always reluctant to blame me.
‘You know, one day you’re going to push me too far.’
He would say with a playful scowl on his face that would just as quickly melt into a smile when I pouted at him.
“I don’t know what to say,” I murmur, and he exhales sharply.
“There is nothing to say. I truly get it now. Good night.” He left the room, and I covered my mouth with my fist. Letting out a strangle sob, I lay on the bed and cried myself to sleep.
The Next Morning
“I’m not opening my eyes,” I grumble, hearing Maggie enter my room.
“Are you upset that the morning has come? I always took you for someone who is up at the crack of dawn.”
“On any other day you would be correct, but this morning I won’t open my eyes because I can’t.” The puffiness around them makes it difficult for me to see. “I’m sure I look a mess.”
Maggie sits beside me and strokes my hair. “I figured last night didn’t go well. The butler said that Sir Ansel arrived back at the manor late and left early without breakfast. He apparently had a strange look on his face and made an even stranger request of a vial of musk to mask his natural scent.”
I can hardly hear her as I reach out and rub the empty side of my bed. The coolness of the sheets reminds me of the way Ansel left.
‘There is nothing to say. I truly get it now.’
I wish he did. Then I wouldn’t have had to hurt him all over again. “Last night was a disaster,” I say to Maggie. “He hated everything, and we got into a big fight.”
“Fights can be fixed.”
“Not this one,” I say as I finally look at her.
“I am hopeful that you two can work this out.”
I sigh. “You shouldn’t be.”
Maggie pats my arm. “Get a little more rest. When I return, we will figure out what to do with the puffiness.”
“Thank you.” I watch her leave, but I can not sleep.
I need to get ready for the day. Maybe dancing will take my mind off things. Maggie said that Ansel was gone, so at least we won’t run into one another.
As I walk over to the cabinet to retrieve my ballet pointers and costume, something catches my eye. Next to my ballet stuff is a snow-white porcelain vase with a bouquet inside. The bouquet is of a flowering plant whose sweet scent was said to be my own, with white bell-shaped flowers that are still covered in dew. It is a flower that much like me doesn’t belong, and yet we both are in the room.
“Lily of the Valley,” I murmur under my breath. “Who put this here?” A slow smile forms on my face and I link to Maggie.
“Thank you for the bouquet. I don’t know where you found out about my connection to suzuran, but it’s lovely and I appreciate the gesture.”
I hear nothing for a moment, and then Maggie links back. “Lady Karin, I wish I could take the credit, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Huh? But if it wasn’t you who was—”
My eyes widened, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Wait…could these be from the Second Prince?”
