Chapter 87

Amber’s POV

My entire chest ached for Julian and his clear pain. His grief for his lost child was so clearly written all over his face, that I felt a sort of shared grief along with him. Perhaps it was because of the closeness I felt to him in this moment.

I couldn’t remember a time when he had ever been so vulnerable with me.

His words helped solve some mysteries I’d been wondering over, though also created a few more.

Olivia was clearly holding the death of her unborn baby over Julian’s head. But the question now was, why was he allowing this? Why had he bent to her over this for so long?

Then again, perhaps the answer was clear.

Julian was an Alpha, a man used to being in control. It was in his nature to take responsibility for everything, even the things he would truly have no control over.

Was this an instance like that? Where he simply internalized the loss of the child so poorly that he accepted the blame?

I wished I knew more of what happened. The story of how the baby was lost was a well-kept secret in the pack. There were whispers of a car crash, but no one dared confirm anything.

Instead, the pack simply mourned the child, the loss of an heir so young, they hadn’t yet been given life.

It was a tragedy, one that I was poorly equipped to help Julian deal with. Selfishly thankful, I had not experienced the loss of a child. I could only imagine the pain, and knew imagining wasn’t nearly as bad as the actual losing.

Slowly, feeling close to Julian and wanting to offer him comfort however I could, I lifted my hand and placed it, palm flat on his chest, right over his chest.

He seemed surprised by my action, looking down at my hand on his chest with a dull sort of surprise.

I was surprised too. As angry as I was with Julian, and as hurt, I still felt compelled to try to help him through this however I could.

Inside, my wolf was pleased, enjoying the refreshed connection with Julian. The rest of me simply felt so much pity…

How much he must be hurting.

As slowly, Julian lifted his own hand and placed it over mine on his chest. “Thank you,” he said.

“I wish I could do more,” I said, and meant it. If only I knew away to heal the pain of grief… But that was one hurt I couldn’t cure as a Healer.

“This is enough,” he said. He closed his eyes for a moment, and licked his lips. When he opened his eyes again, there was fresh determination within them. “Amber, I –”

A knock sounded loudly on the door. Someone tried the handle, but finding the door locked, scoffed.

“Julian? Are you in there? Are you alright?” That was Olivia’s voice.

Whatever Julian had been about to say was lost forever, as the determination in his eyes shriveled up and disappeared the instant we heard Olivia’s voice.

He lowered his hand, and I lowered mine.

“Thank you, again,” he said. “And I am sorry about last night.”

It was difficult to stay furious with him now that I had more understanding of what he was suffering through, and the allegiance he felt he owed to Olivia, even if only to maintain their friendship.

I didn’t like it, but I understood it. With grief, everything was a little messy…

“And thank you for helping with my hand,” he said.

“No more crushing glasses,” I told him, trying to lighten the mood.

He gave me a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No promises.”

“Julian?”

After one last longing look between us, he sidestepped me and moved to the bathroom door. There, before he unlocked it, he looked back at me and saw how I hadn’t moved to follow him.

“Are you coming?”

“In a minute,” I said. I needed a minute to compose myself after this onslaught of new emotions. If I wasn’t wearing so much makeup, I’d splash cold water on my face. Instead, a moment alone would have to suffice.

“I’ll see you out there,” he said, unlocked the door, and stepped out.

“What took so long?” Olivia asked.

“I had glass in my hand,” Julian replied stiffly, then continued on away from the bathroom. With the click of her heels, I heard Olivia scurry after him.

Chase’s POV

Seeing Julian return with Olivia and no Amber in sight made Chase somewhat uneasy. He wasn’t worried exactly. At least, he wouldn’t admit he was, not wanting to give more weight to whatever he felt for Amber than absolutely necessary.

She was supposed to be a mark. Someone Chase seduced and left broken hearted by Olivia’s command.

She wasn’t supposed to be someone Chase actually found himself caring about.

Yet, since opening up to Amber about Violet, he couldn’t admit some of his perspective had changed.

Amber had listened in a way that no one else in his life had. Yes, she was acting as his healer, but she still could have dismissed him as so many others had. But she didn’t. She listened and even sympathized with him, if her caring expression was anything to go by.

He didn’t want to like her, knowing that would make what he had to do to her so much more difficult, but he found that he was struggling to maintain the kind of emotional distance he usually kept up with his lovers.

Yet… he still found himself leaving the table and walking to the bathroom. He still knocked and opened the door.

His heart still clenched in his chest to find Amber there, dabbing tears from the corners of her eyes with a paper towel.

She seemed surprised to see him, her eyes going a little wide. “Chase?”

He was surprised too.

“Alpha Julian came back without you,” Chase said. “A lady should always have someone to escort her to the dining table.”

It was a teasing reference to an old, traditional, silly rule of a bygone era, but it still seemed to lighten her mood, for which he was grateful.

To continue the play, he offered her his arm. “May I be that escort, my queen?”

Amber rolled her eyes at him, a sure sign that she was starting to feel more like herself. Around Chase, she seemed to roll his eyes a lot.

Yet, even so, she still accepted his arm. “I feel foolish,” she admitted.

“Doesn’t it feel good to be foolish every once in a while?”

She didn’t reply, but her mood continued to lift, so Chase took that as a victory.

Then, he led her from the bathroom, and back to the table, where Amber broke from him to hold her daughter closely.

As Chase sat, Olivia gave him a sharp look. He saw it, then immediately glanced away.

When Amber rejoined the table, returning to her seat, Olivia’s sharp eyes shifted to Amber, and then to Alice.

“Alice,” she said. “That’s such a charming necklace. Where is it from?”

Alice looked at Amber. Strangely, despite the innocent question, likely Olivia simply trying to make conversation, they both seemed somewhat nervous.

Why?

Amber spoke up, “It’s something I got her.”

“How darling,” Olivia said, her eyes narrowing a little. Like a shark in the water, Olivia would notice their tension, and with how she felt about Amber, she’d push for more. “May I see it?”

“No!” Alice shouted suddenly, clutching the pendant on the necklace with both hands.

The shout was so loud that it quieted the whole table, with everyone turning to look at the little girl.