Chapter 8

Julian's POV

I said her name before I could catch myself, and a storm of emotions swelled inside me. Looking more closely at Healer Amanda, her resemblance to my late ex-wife was less apparent than I’d first thought.

Whereas Amber’s hair had been deep, dark brown, Healer Amanda’s was like liquid gold. Healer Amanda’s face was scarred, at least the part I could see. Her mask covered her chin.

Yet these emotions, this jolt of recognition, had lit up my whole body. There was a familiar shifting inside me. Could it be? Was Rory, my wolf, ready to come out of his dormant slumber?

Rory stirred, restless. I wanted to act, to jump up and ask Healer Amanda a million different questions. I had the strange urge to take her into my arms. With all of the publicity around Healer Amanda’s arrival to Thorn Pack Hospital, though, the action would not be wise.

I restrained myself, regretfully urging Rory to calm himself.

I couldn’t help but think of the plane crash, in which my former mate – my chosen mate – had died. It had been a bad day already, as she had sent me divorce papers, ready to leave both me and Thorn Pack altogether. I never expected the news that her plane had crashed, and as soon as I heard, I had to take action.

I left headquarters, abandoning Olivia, my fated mate, and the Elders. I hadn’t even taken the time to call a driver. Although I hadn’t driven myself in years, as it was unbecoming of someone as important as the Alpha as Thorn Pack to do such things himself, I still remembered where the keys to the company cars were kept. I grabbed a set, running to the parking garage and pushing the alarm button until I located the vehicle the keys in my hand belonged to.

I drove to the shore, where I knew the pack’s Coast Guard would be sending out rescue vehicles. As Alpha, no one blinked an eye when I demanded to be let on one of the vessels headed to the scene of the accident.

I remember sea spray whipping my face as we rode out into the ocean, not minding the numb feeling the wind and cold water caused. I wasn’t particularly interested in feeling, anyway. I remember the lead investigator informing me that the plane had sunk deep into the ocean already, leaving no survivors behind.

I remember focusing on the numbness, hoping that it would save me from the deep despair filling my bones.

“Send down your best dive team. I need Amber Wood’s remains to be located immediately, at any cost.” The investigator looked at me curiously, wondering what Alpha Julian could possibly want with some woman he’d never heard of, but he acted professionally, not questioning my orders.

I stayed on the boat as the dive was performed, pacing anxiously as the sky turned from sunny daylight to darkest midnight.

They found nothing. The plane had sunk deep into the sea, the wreckage barely visible to even Thorn Pack’s best divers.

When Beta told me that Amber had been in the hospital for prenatal check-ups, I called her doctor immediately. I didn’t think it could be possible, but the doctor’s confirmation broke my heart even further. I hadn’t just lost my wife, but our unborn child, as well.

This never would have happened if it wasn’t for you! Rory snapped at me.

I could feel him raging inside me. I wanted him to stop, so that I could try to feel nothing at all, but he persisted, furious.

You got Olivia pregnant. You chose her over your wife, Rory growled. And now Amber is dead, and your child is dead.

She never would have gotten on that plane if you hadn’t betrayed her.

“Stop!” I cried out in response. “You heard her. Amber insisted on the separation. This isn’t my fault.”

Rory didn’t believe me. I felt him scoff in disbelief, giving up on trying to convince me of my fault.

It didn’t matter. I knew my argument with Amber had driven her away. Regret consumed every part of me.

I knew that I hadn’t treated Amber the way I should have. I wished I could go back and be better for her, paying more attention to the woman who ran my house and fed me for years, doing special things for her the way she’d done for me. Amber deserved that.

But it was too late.

The next best thing to giving Amber her due in life was giving it to her in death. I arranged, personally, for her funeral. Despite resistance from some of the elders, who sneered at the idea of a human woman buried in an Alpha family’s graveyard, even symbolically, I had her buried in a plot next to mine.

I ordered her tombstone to be inscribed with the following: “His ex-wife and former mate.”

Just as everyone else who’d wondered at my relation to Amber, the engraver had been shocked when I told him what the tombstone had read. I kicked myself again and again for hiding Amber away, for keeping her hidden. Nobody pressed me for details.

I think they could read my heartbreak on my face.

Rory, though, couldn’t forgive me. My closest friend, my only opponent, fell into a deep slumber. I couldn’t wake him from his rest.

He was heartbroken, too.

I couldn’t stand staying at the home Amber had made for us. All of the effort I’d ignored when she was alive was amplified by her death. I couldn’t stand looking at the sofa cover I’d spent so many nights lounging on next to her, not appreciating her dedication to me and our home.

I kept the house, of course, but I moved into a new one so I wouldn’t have to face the pain of my mistakes every day. The house would be a memorial to Amber, untouched in order to preserve her memory.

After the funeral and Rory’s decision to go dormant, it became easier to bury myself in work and stifle the pain. I knew that the pain was still there, but it was buried under layers of obligation and duty to my pack.

All of my sexual desire disappeared. I didn’t even want Olivia, but I knew I had to stay with her. After all the publicity, what would it look like if I abandoned my pregnant fated mate?

Then, later, I simply stayed with her because it was easier than trying to leave.

And now, here, was Healer Amanda, who even through her hair and scars reminded me of Amber.

I wanted to approach her, to cup her face and feel her warmth, to run my fingers up each side of her face and unhook her mask from her ears, revealing the delicate lips that part of me was sure belonged to Amber.

Could it actually be her?

Amber's POV

There was a knock on my office door. I sighed as I went over to open it.

Of course, it was Olivia, back from her standard medical examination. I put on a cold, professional smile as she entered the room.

I’d had an electric kettle set up in the office for my arrival, as I liked offering my patients tea to calm their nerves. Most of my patients were nervous, as they were likely suffering with something serious if they’d come to seek my help.

I was going to forgo the pleasantry with Olivia out of my own pettiness, but she surprised me, approaching the kettle herself and pouring a cup for us both. An attempt to ingratiate herself to me, I thought.

“Healer, I know there are a lot of rumors swirling around Thorn Pack about me,” Olivia said, handing me my cup. “You may have even heard them over in Dawn Pack. People say that I’m just the agent Luna, not the true Luna, because I interfered in Alpha’s previous marriage. That isn’t true. Julian and I knew each other long before his previous marriage. He wants to prepare a ceremony of the appropriate grandeur before officially naming me Luna.”

My blood began to boil at Olivia’s words, but I stifled the feeling. Maybe Amber would be upset at Olivia’s story, but Healer Amanda was indifferent, only here to serve her patient.

“I treat all my patients with the proper dignity and dedication to their care, whether they are Lunas or not,” I said dismissively. “Now, please tell me about your medical history, Olivia.”

Olivia answered my questions, and I marked her history down on her chart. She fidgeted in her chair, something I’d never seen anyone as self-possessed and glamorous as Olivia do.

“Thank you, Luna,” I said. “You may go. I’ll be in contact with you about the next steps according to your treatment plan.”

Olivia headed to my office door, opening it. Before she stepped out into the office hallway, Julian appeared just outside the door.

Olivia stopped in the doorway, turning to me. “I know you think I’m lying, but I’m not. Alpha’s ex-wife – Amber – was just a gold-digger looking to exploit his power and his finances. Ask him yourself. She was only good for cooking and cleaning.”

“Olivia!” Julian scolded. “You will not talk about Amber that way, especially not in front of such important company.”

“But –” Olivia started.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. Please, go locate the driver.” Julian’s tone was firm.

After Olivia finally relented and left to go find their driver, Julian turned to me, his blue eyes as dazzling as ever.

“Thank you,” he said, sincerity flooding his words. “I know she isn’t the easiest client, and this isn’t the easiest case. It means a lot to us that you’ve taken it on.”

Julian turned to leave. I thought of what Olivia had said. Ask him yourself. She was only good for cooking and cleaning.

“Alpha Julian,” I said, his first name familiar on my tongue even after all these years. “Do you see your ex-wife that way as well?”