Chapter 54

Amber’s POV

I was entirely frozen, unable to move even the slightest inch, not even to breathe. I stared at Julian like I would a ghost, because that was he was to me in this moment, a ghost of the life I left behind, back to haunt me once again.

Julian’s face was calm and cool. He walked up to me like he expected something of me.

I couldn’t fathom what that was. Hadn’t I ended things clearly enough? Didn’t he end things with me?

Olivia could have children again. Why wasn’t he with her?

What was he even doing here?

And worse, was this project a lie just to get me to accept seeing him?

I finally breathed as disappointment filled me. If that was true, if the project was a lie, I would be incredibly disappointed, not just for the sake of the project, but in Julian as a person. As an Alpha.

Yet, I couldn’t quite believe the worst, not yet. That packet had been so thoroughly prepared, so detailed. And there had been enough glimmers of good in there that I believed it might actually work.

Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Julian glanced down at the packet under my arm, then up to my face again. “Did you want to speak privately about my proposal?” he asked. “Or should we converse here in the lobby?”

He was acting like he didn’t know who I was. Obviously, that had to be a lie.

I didn’t like games, not anymore. Especially not under these circumstances.

“Is the project real?” I asked him. I watched him closely, looking for even the slightest hint he might be lying to me.

I didn’t see any. “It’s real.”

With that assurance, I led him back to my office.

As soon as Julian walked through the door, Anna was on her feet, her eyes wide, stunned. She gawked at him for a moment, as I moved around my desk and sat, then she looked at me for explanation.

“Please give us a moment, Anna,” I said.

“Very well,” she replied, but continued looking at Julian all the way until she walked out the door and closed it behind her.

When we were alone, Julian moved closer and sat down on one of the chairs facing my desk. This office wasn’t as big as the one I used while I was at the hospital in his pack, and the chairs weren’t quite as nice.

The one Julian sat in was folding medal that squeaked loudly as Julian sat, the hinges rusty. I tried very hard not to wince. None of this had to be what Julian was accustomed to.

Still, his eyes were on me, not on the clutter of the room or the pictures on the walls that stayed crooked no matter how many times I tried to correct them.

“The project is real,” Julian said again. “And with your agreement, we will move forward with it no matter what else is said here today.”

“I agree,” I said. I had no idea what else he came here to say, but so long as we could move forward with this project, it felt like a victory. “I will support this project in whatever way I can.”

“Good,” he said. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a folded up piece of paper. He unfolded it, but the crinkles remained, leaving small squares over the document. “Onto other matters,” he said and handed the document to me.

I looked down at it. Immediately, all the blood drained from my face.

This was a paternity test that showed Julian was Alice’s father.

“I only found out after the crash that you were pregnant. First, I thought our child had died in that plane crash alongside you,” Julian said. “Then, when you returned, I thought only the baby had passed. Later, after Roman said he was the father, I had assumed you had an affair.”

I swallowed thickly, guilt rising within me for having allowed him to feel those stages of grief and loss.

“Now, I know that it was my baby all along,” he continued. “Alice is my child. I am her father.” He paused a moment. His eyes were on me with a laser focus, like he was daring me to deny it.

I couldn’t.

“Yes,” I said, lowering my gaze back to the paper. No wonder he had tracked me down all the way out here. “Yes, you are her father.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“No.” I took a steadying breath. “We didn’t leave things in a good place, you and me. With Olivia pregnant…” I looked everywhere but at his face as I said, “I didn’t think you had any care for me or our child.”

Julian’s hard façade cracked with surprise. “You really thought that?”

I remembered being so excited to bring him the news of my pregnancy, but the entire day had turned into a disaster. That day he had chosen Olivia and their unborn child over me and ours.

What had started with public humiliation had ended with a plane crash that I still had nightmares about.

“You gave me no indication that you cared for me,” I said.

It hurt to rehash old arguments, but if not now, then when? Things had been said back then, and those words had consequences. Julian should have to see what he’d done before he placed all of the blame squarely on me.

“Do you remember what you said?” I asked. “That we were nothing but sex and money? You know what? All the money I needed, I gave it to my grandma. She took care of me when I was just an orphan, and then she got seriously sick. I had nothing back then. But to keep her alive, I was willing to do whatever it took.”

Julian paled slightly, but he didn’t deny it. He did, remember then. And possibly he still felt that way about our past.

“I didn’t know that,” his jaw tightened.

“So what are you here for?”

“You have our child,” he said, “that’s different.”

“I tried to tell you so many times, but you pushed me away. You accused me of trying to make things difficult for Olivia, and then you told me that. It was too much, Julian. Too far. Why would I think you would care for our child when you seemed to want nothing more than to have me out of your life?”

“I didn’t want that,” he said. “I just told you to go home.”

“You hid me away…”

“Being an Alpha isn’t easy,” he said, “I have to think about my reputation-the pack’s reputation.”

“That’s hypocrisy.”

“No, this is my responsibility.”

“Then why are you still coming to me? Just because I became a Healer? Because I have what you need?”

“No, it’s because...” He ran a hand through his usually neat hair, the rare show of emotion making him uneasy. “Alice. I love Alice, and I don’t want her to be a bastard.”

“She’s fine without a father.”

With our voices raised, our emotions heightened, we both stopped and stared at each other.

This conversation had been long overdue, but now that it was happening, I felt like I was cracking down the middle.

I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready.

I wanted him to leave. Leave my office, this town, this pack, my life.

Yet he stood there stubbornly, just as he was still wedged inside of my heart.

Damn him, and damn my feelings for him.

“I want visitation with Alice,” he said.

I had no reason to deny him. Julian was the only thing Alice seemed to truly miss from our time in his pack. “Meet me at the dinner on Main Street at 6pm. I will bring Alice.”

“Which dinner?” he asked, revealing his partiality to city life.

“There’s only one diner,” I told him.

He seemed puzzled by that and nodded. “I can trust you not to disappear?”