Chapter 236

Amber’s POV

I blinked open my eyes and was immediately blinded by the bright lights. Wincing, I closed my eyes again, at least until they could adjust.

When they did, I glanced around. Seeing the medical equipment, I knew at once I was in the hospital. Tilting my head, I found Julian seated at my side. His hand was on the mattress, holding mine. I looked down at how our fingers were intertwined.

He wasn’t looking at me in the moment, but instead his eyes were on his phone. A line split his brow, making him seem troubled. I wondered what he was reading, then remembered, unlike in my unconscious dreaming when I had been viewing memories, I could interact in reality. In the present.

“What are you reading?” I asked.

“Oh, just some emails from the council about…” he stopped, then startled so badly that he nearly dropped his phone. In a rush, he looked to me. Seeing me awake, he immediately cast his phone to the side, stood and reached for me. “Amber! Gods, you are awake!”

I allowed him to pull me in for a hug, and tried to reciprocate to the best of my ability. It was difficult, so much of my body hurt. Just from the pain, I could tell the state of my healing, and knew I had a long way to go.

Yet, after being so near death, now to be awake, I pushed myself through the pain to hold Julian back as tightly as he was holding onto me.

“I didn’t want to think about losing you,” Julian whispered, his lips near my ear in my hair. “But I was so afraid of it. I had no idea what I would do without you. I didn’t even know where to start…”

“You don’t have to think about that now,” I promised. “I’m not going anywhere anymore. I’m staying right here with you.”

Leaning back, he looked down into my face, and for the first time, I could really see the love and relief shining like tears in his eyes. His eyes were damp, and though those tears never fell, I knew he cared for me so dearly that it made my chest ache.

Gods, I loved him.

Before I could tell him so, he seemed to remember himself. “I have to tell Alice. She will want to see you at once.”

“Yes,” I agreed, eager to see my daughter as well. “Has she been safe? Is she okay?”

“She’s great,” Julian told me. “You protected her well.”

“Good,” I said, with some relief of my own.

Julian stepped out for a minute, and when he returned, he was trailing Alice, who ran to my room and flew herself onto the bed. I hid my pain as best I could to hold her back, loving how affectionate she was.

“Mommy! You are okay!” The tears fell freely from Alice’s eyes, and I held her tightly, trying to give her as much comfort as I could. “I was so scared!”

“I’m sorry, honey,” I said, speaking softly while rubbing my hand up and down her back. “I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“Not… your fault…” she said through her sniffles.

Julian came closer then and placed one hand on Alice’s back and one on my shoulder, completing a family circle that had been desperately missing a piece.

Finally, the three of us were together. We were safe and happy. Not exactly healthy yet, but on the mend.

I wanted to know everything that had happened since I had been shot but I waited to ask, not wanting to ruin this perfect moment for any of us, even myself.

I just wanted to hold my child and be held by my mate, and let everything be perfect for a while.

Later, when Alice had fallen asleep against me, her head in my lap, her arms wrapped around my waist. I combed my fingers gently through her hair and asked Julian, who was standing beside us, “What happened with Tony and Olivia?”

He hesitated a moment, but before I had to press him, he told me, explaining things briefly, his voice soft so as not to wake Alice.

“Olivia fell off the roof,” he said. “We haven’t been able to recover her body, but there is a large enough blood splatter for me to believe she died. Not sure how she could survive a fall like that anyway. Tony, meanwhile…” he shook his head. “He’s trapped in his feral state. The council is split on what to do with him.”

“They want to put him down…?” I asked.

“That’s the typical decision on these things,” Julian said. “There’s no cure for being feral. But who he is… or was, I guess… complicates matters. And with the pack split, many people still liking Tony even if they can admit he lost, the decision can’t be made lightly.”

“Do you think you’ll have to… end him?” I asked, trying to phrase it lightly.

“I don’t like ending things like that for anyone,” he said. “But I will do what’s necessary.”

“What’s necessary…” I said, allowing my thoughts to wander. Turning feral had no cure, but… I wondered if we could run a toxicology report on Tony and discover which drugs had been used to get him in this state, perhaps we could work backwards to determine a cure.

“I see your mind working,” he said. “I didn’t want to push it on you. You only need to worry about healing yourself. But, if there’s a way to find a cure…”

“It might not be impossible,” I said. Maybe I was overconfident now, driven by all the good I had been able to achieve so far with my healing experience. But perhaps this confidence wasn’t so bad, if it pushed me to keep trying to solve problems that had been considered unsolvable until now.

Even if I couldn’t find a cure, maybe I could start some research that a future healer could use to do so.

At the very least, I had to try.

“Will you send in the supervisor?” I asked. “I have a few ideas I want to run past him.”

Worry crossed Julian’s face. “Don’t you think you should wait a while? You shouldn’t push yourself. You just woke up.”

I understood his concern. My body was aching still, as some silver still coursed through my veins. But for me to be conscious and to feel even as well as I did meant that I was on the mend. Moving around and making these experiments might slow my healing progress at best, but it wouldn’t send me back to the bed.

“I’m getting better,” I insisted. “Please, Julian. I’m eager to start, and I know I can help.”

He frowned at me.

“Please,” I said again.

Finally, he sighed. “Fine. But I will be by your side every step of the way. And I insist that you rest frequently. At least fifteen minutes for every hour you work.”

“So much!” I gasped. I was used to working hours and hours without a break before.

“Yes,” Julian said. “Unless you think you need more.”

I knew he was serious, that his concern was driving his protectiveness. I couldn’t be mad. I had been in bad shape. I had almost died.

His compromise was even letting me out of this bed, when really, I shouldn’t move for at least a week.

“Fine,” I agreed.

“Fine,” he replied.

As he turned and went to retrieve the supervisor, I allowed my mind to wander.

Yet, mixed in with my ideas for a cure were pleasant musings about how much Julian clearly loved me.

And Gods, I loved him too. Soon, I would have to tell him so.