Chapter 181

Amber’s POV

That night, I stayed awake, replaying in my mind the conversation I had with Julian again and again on an eternal loop. I couldn’t stop thinking about the things he said, how it made me feel, and what it might mean for our future.

I never imagined I might hear him talk about prioritizing me like that, as he’d always put everything else above me in our past – the pack most of all. Yet here he was, saying that he would even quit if I asked it of him.

He had claimed that Alice and I were his whole world.

And he said he loved me, with such passion that I could practically still hear the words in his voice ringing around, echoing in my mind. Each time they echoed, my heart stuttered, my whole chest feeling full with the love that he was promising to me.

Even with these emotionally fulfilling words, I still struggled to trust him. The past hung over us like a dark stain, a tiny little raincloud, that always came around just as we were starting to be happy.

He had hurt me so much in the past, much of which I had allowed to happen. If I had walked away at the start… If I had put my foot down and cared about myself enough to protect myself when he had treated me cruelly…

All this time I thought I had been angry at him, but maybe I had truly forgiven him long ago. Perhaps it was my self-targeted fury that held me back now.

But that wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair to me either.

Maybe I’d been holding back for too long, and had been too hard on both of us. Didn’t we both deserve better?

I’d let things fester between us, purposefully focusing on the pain when I should have been trying to find a way to navigate through it to the other side.

Truly, I had never believed there was anyone for me but Julian. Despite all the hurdles we had left to face, I still believed that.

If I couldn’t be with him, I didn’t think I wanted to be with anyone, and I doubted that would ever change.

I gave my heart to him a long time ago, and was not looking to reclaim it. I should have been more attentive maybe, so that I could have noticed how carefully he was guarding that heart. Instead, I had considered it lost and had been learning to live without it.

For a change to occur in our relationship, I would have to be the one to make it now. Julian had taken many steps to bring himself to me, and to prove himself worthy. Hadn’t he done enough to do so?

Wasn’t it my turn to walk toward him now, and prove myself still worthy of his love?

Determination filled my heart as I came up with a new plan.

Gods, there were so many challenges before us yet to face. With Gloria’s condition, the poisoner still at large, Julian nearly dying, Alice’s condition, my sudden burst into fame as a lost princess…

Yet, even with all of these things – couldn’t there still be time for love?

From now on, I was going to try to be more forward with Julian, to open myself up to him a little more. I didn’t want to push either of us for a minute longer.

Instead of running from the love that we were cultivating, I was going to go towards it.

These new plans gave me comfort and more hope than I had felt in a while. With this, I was finally able to let my eyelids close for sleep to find me.

In the morning, I felt refreshed. I showered and dressed for the day, then headed downstairs, eager to see Julian and put my new plans into action.

Yet, strangely, I didn’t find Julian in the kitchen or foyer. When I walked to the living room, I found it blocked off with several of Julian’s enforcers. One of the servants was standing there, looking through the doorway somewhat nervously as she was blocked by one of the enforcers.

She was an older woman, one I knew and trusted well. “What’s going on?” I asked both her and the enforcer blocking her.

“Apologies, ma’am,” the servant said. “They’ve blocked off the entire living room.”

“Under Alpha Julian’s direct orders,” the enforcer replied. “And for good reason too. We believe there is a listening device in this room, and we aren’t going to stop until we find it.”

“A listening device?” I asked, surprised.

The enforcer’s otherwise icy tone melted slightly at that. “Forgive me, miss. Have you not watched the news yet this morning?”

“No,” I said.

“You should,” the enforcer said. “I think it will explain everything better than I could.” His cheeks tinted slightly pink, like he was embarrassed to say more.

This only left me even more confused.

I looked to the servant instead. “Is Julian here? I need to speak with him.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the servant said. “He left early this morning. The news shook him too.”

“Did he go to the hospital?”

“The Alpha headquarters,” the servant said. “He specifically requested that you and Alice not leave the house today.” She glanced sideways at the enforcer. “He also asked that you not watch the news until he had time to handle things.”

If Julian didn’t want me to see it, that meant that it was bad. But also, that I really needed to see whatever it was.

“I understand,” I said. “Thank you both.”

Turning, I rushed away from the living room and down to the den. There was a television there, placed within a custom shelf among the bookcases along the wall. Lifting the remote from the nearby bar, I clicked on the television and found the news.

The newscasters were in the middle of explaining the story in depth. A picture of Julian and me was placed on one corner, while the other three segments of the screen were filled with the talking heads of different journalists.

Across the bottom of the screen, text scrawled, reading, Leaked audio reveals that Alpha Julian would put his family before his pack, causes controversy.

“I just think it’s incredibly dangerous for an Alpha to feel this way,” said one of the reporters. “It’s not that we want him to be unfeeling, but a pack must always come first for an Alpha. What if he is put in a position where he must choose between his family and his pack? How can we trust him to have our best interests at heart?”

“Truly a compelling argument,” said the main anchor. Facing the camera, she said, “If you are just joining us, new leaked audio of a private conversation between Alpha Julian and his mate Amber leaves the pack in crisis this morning. Take a listen.”

The picture of Julian and me covered the whole screen as Julian’s voice came out of the speakers.

It was a poor recording, sounding like he was speaking through a tin can, but the words were clear enough, especially because I remembered them in great detail.

“…You mean everything to me, Amber. More than myself. Even more than my pack…”

My heart shriveled up inside myself and sunk down into my stomach.

That had been a private conversation. Now the whole world was witness?

Before the true dread of this moment could take hold, the front doorbell rang. I stuck my head out into the hallway, wanting to get away from the television and the terrible news it was displaying.

There was no one else in the hallway. With the enforcers here, the servants must have been in chaos, disorganized.

With no one else doing it, I walked forward to answer the door.

I opened the lock and pulled it open.

Tony was on the other side.

“Amber,” he said. He looked behind me and all around. “Is Julian here? I need to speak with him.”