Chapter 153

Julian’s POV

I knew my uncle was laying the guilt on thick to have the greatest effect on me. They all wanted their Olivia impersonator, and I was the one being difficult. It made sense that they would try to pull out all the stops.

I couldn’t even be angry. Mom was important to all of them, as she was to me. And it was easier for them to push for this Olivia angle, when they weren’t the ones who had been threatened and attacked by the woman.

If they had, I suspected things would be different.

Instead, I tuned them out again. Standing, I decided to go down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. As the cafeteria was in the opposite direction as the exit, no one tried to stop me this time.

As I walked, I kept flexing and releasing my hands. Even on my medicine, the anxiety I felt about everything that was happening was nearly overwhelming.

For a wild moment, I thought of taking even more of the medicine. If it made me feel this numb, perhaps it could erase the feeling entirely, which could lead to me feeling better about all this. Or at least to not feeling so bad.

But that wouldn’t help in the end, would it? After all it was because of the medicine that I hadn’t felt Amber when she was in trouble.

I imagined her as Rafael said, sitting frightened, in shock, clutching her phone and waiting for me to call. Had her heart cried my name, begging for me to save her, and I’d been too oblivious to feel it, too numb through our bond?

I couldn’t risk the medicine anymore. I would feel everything, every pain or possessive aggression, if it also meant that I could feel her when she needed me.

However, maybe it wasn’t really up to me. The pills had been Amber’s idea from the start. If she wanted me to keep taking them, maybe I had no choice but to. I would do whatever she wanted. In the end, aside from Alice, she was the most important person in my life.

I would do anything she asked me to do, even this.

Maybe she would see my side of things this time though. Taking out my phone again, I sent another text.

I’m sorry, Amber. I really don’t want to take these pills anymore. I know they have some benefits but I hate not being able to sense you through our bond. Would you accept it if I stopped?

As Alpha, it wasn’t like me to ask for permission to do anything. Yet, in this relationship, and only with Amber, I wanted her to know that her opinion held weight. I might be Alpha, but if our marriage continued, we would be equal partners inside of it.

I would never again allow her to feel like nothing, as I had in the past when I discarded her and her emotions, treating her like she didn’t mean anything to me while I hid her away from the world.

Since then, I had learned many valuable lessons, and none were as important as this: a marriage needed to be built on love and trust and communication.

No more secrets. No more hiding.

No more secrets made me think of what my family wanted to do, hiring an Olivia impersonator. For a moment, I almost included that in my text to Amber, wanting to be fully transparent.

But, thinking about how much she had gone through today, and how my family’s talk likely wouldn’t amount to anything, I decided to hold onto that information for how.

Next time I saw her, I would have a ton of stories to tell. But there was no sense worrying her about this now, before it became something.

I also didn’t know how to explain that my mother hated her, for reasons I still hadn’t figured out. That was another story for a later date. Likely Mom would pass before Amber would ever be in the same area code as her. Just one more thing I didn’t need to worry her with.

Gods, I wished I could hear Amber’s voice. If only she would answer my calls. But, texting seemed to be all she was comfortable with for now. I wouldn’t press her. If that was as much as she was ready to communicate, then I could meet her in that.

Truly, I just wished she was here next to me. These burdens I was carrying wouldn’t be so heavy with the woman I loved at my side.

Instead, I walked the rest of the way alone. By the time I reached the machine, the coffee was cold.

Amber’s POV

Reading Julian’s message, I slowly came to understand what was happening, and with that understanding, came forgiveness.

Julian hadn’t realized I was in trouble because of the medicine he was taking to dim the effects of our bond. With the bond dimmed, it made sense that he hadn’t felt me calling him out to him through it.

What a fool I had been, forcing that medicine on him. I hated everything about it.

And how kind he was to ask me permission to stop taking it. He truly trusted me and respected me, giving me the choice like this.

At once, all of the misplaced hostility I had felt toward Julian disappeared, and in its place, I really just wanted to see him.

And why shouldn’t I?

I couldn’t go back to my clinic with Anna, as that town was too small to offer the kind of protection I needed. But Julian’s pack was the opposite. His was the largest pack on the continent, even larger than Rafael’s. As the Alpha’s mate, I’d have privileges and protections there that I wouldn’t have other places, assuming Julian was willing to share the truth of who I was, and who Alice was. Not just in our past, but what we presently meant to him.

And he would. If he trusted, respected, and loved me as much as he said he did, then surely he would make sure Alice and I were protected, even if it outed us publically as still being tied to him.

It was better than staying in this mansion.

Decided, I went down to Rafael to tell him my idea.

“I think Alice and I should go to Julian’s pack and reconnect with him,” I said. “He will protect us better than anyone.”

Rafael’s expression was grim. “I don’t like it,” he admitted.

Oddly, I found an ally in an unexpected place. “Just let her go, Rafael,” Mary said. “You can’t keep the girl a prisoner, and she should be with her mate.”

Rafael gave Mary an odd look that mirrored the one I was giving her, but she just shrugged us both away and continued her drink.

Rafael looked at me, then. “If you are sure…”

“I am,” I said.

“Very well. I will arrange it.”

Mary’s POV

Honestly I didn’t care if Amber went or not, but her leaving did benefit me and what I planned to do.

After having said what I wanted to, I retreated back to the guest room where I had been staying and withdrew a letter I had personally received only this morning from my local post office box. I’d already opened it, and knew it contained the results of the blood test I had personally ordered for Rafael and Amber.

I already knew she was in fact our relation. There were no doubts about it now.

But that didn’t mean I accepted it. Moving into the bathroom, I dropped the letter into the sink and then lit a match. Dropping the match down onto the sink, I watched as the letter caught fire and burned to ash.

As the cinders glowed, I unlocked my phone and called a familiar number, someone I could trust implicitly.

“I need that altered document,” I said. “Get it to me as fast as you can.”

If I could have that in hand and show Rafael before Amber came back, maybe I could put a stop to this entire relation business.

Our family didn’t need to be any bigger, no matter what the test results said.