Chapter 122

Amber’s POV

After putting Alice to bed, when I came back out into the common space, Julian was waiting for me. His arms crossed, he leaned against the only counter space in the kitchenette, by the sink. While I had tucked in Alice, Julian had handled the dishes. His sleeves were rolled up, some drops of water lingering on his arms from where he’d missed drying with the towel.

I was glad he had waited for me before going back into his own room. We had a lot to talk about, at least where it pertained to Alice.

“We can’t fight in front of her,” I said. “Never again. Whatever is going on between us, we cannot let it affect Alice. She has too much going on already, with her illness. As her parents, it’s our job to protect her from fights like this.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to upset Alice, and I will make certain I never do it again. Her happiness is everything to me.”

“Good,” I said. “I’m glad we understand each other.”

“We do,” he said. “At least about that, but not about anything else.”

“Julian, don’t start…”

“I don’t know why we can’t talk about this,” Julian said, pushing away from the counter.

“Because, with the two of us, whenever feelings get involved, we stop thinking logically and become selfish,” I said. “It’s never worked out for us, so why do we insist on continuing to try?”

“That’s not true,” Julian said. “Being together hasn’t always been bad for us.”

I shook my head. How quickly he could forget! While he was out living his life in the past, I was the one at home, forced the shadows.

“Our past isn’t exactly a healthy one,” I reminded him.

He couldn’t counter that, so I was glad he didn’t try.

“If we just took a chance, I think things would be good this time,” he said. “I’ve learned a lot since before. I could be so good for you. The other night was just a hint of that…”

Our night together had been something I would never forget, a night of intense passion and pleasure. Whenever I needed to find my own release in the future, I was certain to tap into those memories.

The noises Julian had made… The way he moved, pining me to the mattress with his body, thrusting down into me…

My mouth went dry again, just thinking about it.

No. I couldn’t think about that now. My weakness for his body was what got me into this mess to start with! All those years ago, when Julian had approached me at that club… When our eyes locked and our bodies reacted…

Too much time had passed between then and now. We were different people now, changed by our experiences and simply by the passing of time.

“Things aren’t like how they were before we were married,” I said. “I’m a mother now, and that means I can’t be as reckless as I once was.”

“But, Amber –”

“I’m sorry, Julian, but that’s the way things have to be.”

He looked at me for a long moment, then approached me step by step. He walked right up to me, stopping only six-inches from my chest. Towering over me, he looked down at me. There was passion in his eyes, intensity, focus. His smolder was scorching me from the inside out.

But I stayed very still, not moving a single muscle, not to go closer or further away. Maybe I was like a frightened animal, skittish, afraid to run away but just as afraid not to and end up in the jaws of the hungry wolf.

“Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t want me,” he said. “Tell me you feel nothing for me. Only then, will I be satisfied enough to let you go.”

I was still looking in his eyes. I hadn’t been able to look away, his intensity trapping me like prison walls, holding onto my own focus.

Maybe lying would save me, it would end this push-pull game we’d been playing. That was likely the right move for me to make. Yet, looking at him, when I opened my mouth, the words would not manifest.

I couldn’t lie, not even to end this thing that needed to end.

I couldn’t have Julian, but nor could I bring myself to let him go.

Instead, I glanced away and backed up a step. “Let’s just focus on work from now on, okay?”

“Amber.”

“I’m going to bed,” I said abruptly, walked around him, and retreated into my room.

I hated to think I was running away, but I knew in my heart, that was exactly what I was doing.

Julian’s POV

The next day, after setting Alice up with one of her tutors, I took a much needed visit to Rafael’s estate, to speak with the man myself.

We were overdue for a one-on-one chat, Alpha to Alpha. We should have spoken privately when I first arrived, to set boundaries. Now, because we’d skipped that conversation, Rafael didn’t seem to understand the nature of my relationship with Amber, or how she was still my mate.

I needed to make a few things clear.

The butler at the door sneered at me as I introduced myself.

“I need to speak to Alpha Rafael,” I said.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” the butler said. “Alpha Rafael is not at home.”

“Is that Alpha Julian, Geoffrey?” Rafael said from within, clearly home. “Let him in, it’s fine.”

Geoffrey the butler’s expression did not change, not even after having been caught in his lie. Instead, he simply stepped back, allowing me space to enter. “The Alpha is in the parlor.”

“Over here, Julian,” Rafael said. In a room off the entryway, Rafael sat up from an antique sofa. He snapped the old book he’d been holding closed as he turned to me. “I’d been hoping you would come by. We have a lot to discuss.”

I was glad we could be on the same page about that, because I doubted there was going to be much else we agreed on.

Determined, I walked right into the parlor, saying, “You have to stay away from Amber and Alice.”

Both of Rafael’s brows lifted high on his forehead. “Do I?”

“Maybe you didn’t know,” I said. “But Amber is my mate, and Alice is my child.”

Rafael tipped his head. “She’s your mate?”

“And my wife,” I said.

He hummed, unimpressed. “I read the papers, Julian. I know about your past. How you chose another over your mate, how Amber then almost died in a plane crash, how she returned as a star Healer, and how you chased her away again. Maybe you are still mated, but it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to me.”

“She’s taken,” I said firmly.

“Perhaps,” Rafael said. “But the man who claims to be her mate treats her like a brute.”

“I do not,” I said.

“I saw you in the hallway at the clinic. You didn’t even try to hide how you mistreated her. And now, you come here, on your own. Does Amber know you are here? Does she know that you are attempting to intimidate me?”

Something must have shown on my face.

“No, I didn’t think she did,” he said, grating on all of my nerves. “You are too controlling, Julian, and I don’t like that.”

He squared up a little, and I did the same.

It was clear we didn’t like each other. That was fine.

If he wanted to settle this, I’d rather use my fists anyway.