Chapter 44

Lauren

“What are you doing here?” I asked finally, my voice barely above a whisper as my breath hit Alexander. “You should be in the hospital.”

He stood over me, his eyes locking into mine, his elbow beading a dot of blood from the hospital. “Sophia told me you left,” he said, his tone accusing but laced with something deeper. “She said you didn’t care if I survived.”

I froze, my head shaking, though somehow I wasn’t surpirsed. “She said what?”

“She said you left,” he repeated, stepping closer. “That you took Liam and walked away without looking back. That you didn’t care.”

Anger flared in my chest, hot and sudden. “That’s a lie,” I snapped. “I didn’t leave because I didn’t care, Alex. I left because she made it clear I wasn’t welcome. Every time I tried to see you after, she blocked me. She said it was… better for everyone if I stayed away.”

His jaw tightened, the muscles working under his skin. “She lied to me.”

“Yes, she lied,” I said, my voice shaking with emotion. “Do you know how hard it was, Alexander? To be shut out, to not know if you were okay, if you were even alive? After all you did for me, Abigail…you coud have…” I paused, “And now you’re here, accusing me of… of not caring?”

His expression softened, the fire in his eyes dimming to something more vulnerable. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t want to believe her, but I had to hear it from you. I had to see you.”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “Well, now you know,” I said, my voice trembling. “So what happens now?”

He stepped closer, his gaze never leaving mine. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I’m done letting Sophia dictate what I believe. I’m done letting her keep us apart.”

My breath hitched, the weight of his words sinking in. “Alexander…”

“I love you, Lauren,” he said, his voice breaking. “I never stopped. And I know I’ve made mistakes, but I need you to know that. I need you to believe it.”

Tears spilled over, and I couldn’t hold them back anymore. His words were everything I’d wanted to hear, but they were tangled in a web of pain and complications. I didn’t know if it was enough.

He reached for me, his hand warm against my cheek. “Don’t shut me out again. Please.”

I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch despite myself. The battle between my heart and my head raged on, but in that moment, all I felt was him.

“You can’t leave,” he said, his voice rough and broken. “Please, Lauren. Don’t do this.”

“Leave? How did you know—”

He cut me off, “Because you have that look in your eyes. The one that says your going to run.”

“Alexander—” I started, but the words caught in my throat. His gaze pinned me in place, raw and unguarded in a way I wasn’t used to seeing.

“I know I don’t deserve this,” he continued, his voice trembling. “I don’t deserve you. But I’m begging you, don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

I’d spent so long hating him, building walls around my heart to keep him out, but now those walls felt like they were crumbling.

“You don’t get to do this,” I said, my voice shaking. “You don’t get to show up now and ask me to stay. Not after everything. I’m thankful, more than thankful for you saving my daughter. Helping me, but…”

“I know,” he said, stepping closer, his voice a low rasp that sent shivers down my spine. His hand brushed the doorframe, his knuckles white as though he was holding himself up by sheer will.

For a moment, I thought he might break under the weight of his own words. “I know I’ve hurt you. I know I’ve done everything wrong. But I’m here now, and I’m asking—begging—you to give me another chance.”

My heart twisted painfully, and I shook my head, the tears I’d been holding back spilling over. “It’s not that simple, Alexander. You wanted the divorce. You left. And for God’s sake, I faked my death to get away from the mess we made. You can’t just show up, say you’re sorry, and expect me to forget all of that. To forget how much it hurt.”

His jaw tightened, and his voice cracked as he replied, “I don’t expect you to forget. I don’t expect anything except for you to hear me out. I don’t even understand why you did all that—” he stopped, like he was afraid if he pushed to hard, I might just disappear. “Lauren…”

He stepped closer, the heat of him invading my space. His hand hovered just shy of touching me, as if he was afraid I’d shatter beneath his fingers. “All I know is I can’t lose you. I can’t lose us. Not again.”

Something inside me broke wide open. The anger, the grief, the love I had buried so deep it had become a scar—it all came rushing to the surface in a tidal wave I couldn’t control. My voice trembled, but it was sharp as I stepped toward him.

“You don’t get to decide that,” I said, my words slicing through the thick air between us. “You don’t get to show up and make me feel this way. You don’t get to—”

Before I could finish, his lips crashed into mine. The kiss was wild, desperate, like he was trying to breathe life back into something we’d both thought was dead.

He had kissed me before—once in his office, and another time, drunk, right here on my porch. But it had never been like this.

His hands found my waist, his fingers pressing into me gently, but longing, like I might slip right through.

I gasped against his mouth, my hands pushing at his chest, but the heat between us only intensified. His lips left mine, trailing down my jaw, his breath searing against my skin. “Lauren,” he murmured, my name a broken prayer on his lips.

I’m not sure what happened, but the dam holding back my emotions shattered.

I kissed him back, pouring all my anger, my heartbreak, and my yearning into it. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as if I could erase the years of pain with the press of my body against his.

He groaned into the kiss, his hands sliding up my back and pulling me flush against him. In one fluid motion, he lifted me off the ground, his strength overwhelming, intoxicating. My back hit the wall with a thud, and a picture frame fell, shattering on the floor. But the crash barely registered.

His lips claimed mine again, the kiss growing deeper, fiercer, as if he was trying to stake a claim on my soul. His hands roamed over me, every touch igniting a fire I hadn’t felt in so long. I clung to him, my nails digging into his shoulders, needing to anchor myself in the chaos of him.

The world outside us blurred into nothingness. There was only Alexander—his taste, his touch, the way his breath mingled with mine, the way he made me feel like I was simultaneously burning and alive.

When we finally pulled apart, we were both gasping for air, our foreheads pressed together. His hands cupped my face, his thumbs brushing away the tears I hadn’t even realized were still falling.

“Don’t go,” he whispered, his voice raw, broken, a plea that tore through me.

I stared into his eyes, and for the first time, I saw it—the vulnerability, the regret, the love he had tried so hard to hide. It left me breathless, teetering on the edge of a decision I wasn’t sure I was ready to make.

But God help me.

Help him.

I swallowed hard, my voice trembling, each word a dagger meant for both of us. “I can’t… Alexander. I can’t stay. Not like this. Not when I’ll never have all of you.”