Chapter 89

Hannah’s POV

Sebastian was gone the next morning; he thinks just because he saved me in the rogue territory it means that I forgive him for everything. As appreciative as I was that he showed up right on time, I was still so hurt, and I wasn’t sure if I could trust him. I thought about my mother’s journal and how she wrote mainly about my father. For most of my life, I thought she was in love with him. But now I’m thinking it was only the mark he forced on her that drew her to him.

He was abusive toward her and raped her, conceiving me. I was born into a marriage that didn’t consist of genuine love. My father had marked my mother by force, just as Sebastian had done to me. Since he marked her, she hasn’t been able to get rid of him in her mind. She felt that mate bond until the day she died. She was tied to him.

It’s almost impossible to remove a mark once it’s been done; a king can remove the mark, but I doubt Sebastian would ever do that for me. He wouldn’t even grant me a divorce.

Because my father marked her, my mother hadn’t been able to fully move on from him. She kept thinking he would return to her because of their mate bond, but he never did. It drove her into a depression that she felt she had no other choice other than to end her life.

“Hannah!” Raya said as she ran into the bedroom; her eyes were wide and misty.

My heart leaped in my chest at the sight of her; she looked well. A lot better than she had when we first arrived at the palace together. She jumped into the bed beside me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug.

I flinched at the sudden movement; some of my bones still hurt.

“Ouch,” I said; then I chuckled and hugged her bag.

She released me, looking sheepish.

“Sorry,” she said with a smile. “I forgot you were hurt.”

“When did you get back?” I asked, relieved that she was okay. “I’ve been so worried. You haven’t called or texted.”

“I know,” she breathed. “Everything was just happening so quickly. Arnold got into this huge fight with the guy. His name is Spencer. Thankfully, Arnold was much stronger and was able to take him.” Her cheeks turned pink at that last part.

A smile tugged at my lips; I could tell she was warming up to Beta Arnold and she was starting to like him. But I didn’t say anything, not wanting to freak her out.

“But anyway,” she continued. “We brought him back to the king’s jail and he’s locked there for the time being.” She visibly shuddered at the memory. “What about you? When we returned to the palace the king was in a frenzy. He kept saying that he could feel you were in danger. We went with him to the rogue town and saw them attacking you. He went nuts.”

Her eyes were wide and filled with worry.

“What were you thinking?” She finally asked, lowering her tone.

I sighed.

“That was where I lived with my mother and brother,” I explained. “There were some things there I needed to get. I guess it didn’t work out the way I planned.”

I thought about how I dropped the box when they attacked me. My stuff went everywhere, and I couldn’t collect it before we left. Or before I was carried away.

She was eyeing me carefully for a moment before sliding out of the bed; she went around the bed and knelt, so she was out of sight. I waited quietly, confused about what she was doing. She was reaching for something under the bed; that much was clear.

She finally resurfaced, pulling out a familiar box and placing it on the bed.

I gasped.

“I found it next to you when we found you,” she explained. “I tried to collect the stuff that fell out of it; I might have missed some stuff though.”

I reached into the box and rummaged through all the baby stuff; I saw my mother’s journal at the bottom of the box, and I sighed with relief.

“Did Sebastian see any of this?” I asked, meeting her eyes.

She shook her head.

“I’m assuming he doesn’t know you’re pregnant?” She asked, eyeing me carefully.

“No, he doesn’t,” I told her. “I would like to keep it that way.”

“You can’t keep something like that from your husband,” she said; seriousness was clouding her expression. “Why don’t you want him to know?”

“It’s just better if he didn’t know,” I explained. “At least for right now.”

I didn’t want to explain to her everything; she might fear Sebastian even more if I did. The only person who knew Sebastian already and I could talk to about it was dead. I felt tears threatening to escape my eyes again and I knew I had to think about something else before I lost control of myself.

“Arnold wants to take me into the city today,” Raya said, changing the subject; she looked a bit lost for a moment. “I’m still not used to having a mate. He wants me to make myself at home and show me around. But I’ve never been outside of Bluemoon before. It just feels weird.”

“You’ll get used to it,” I assured her. “How do you think I felt when I went from a rogue town to my father’s pack and then to the king’s pack.”

She thought about it for a moment and then nodded.

“True,” she agreed. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you either.”

“No,” I answered. “It wasn’t.”

After a small pause, she stood from the bed; she gave me a strong smile and a flash of confidence went through her face.

“I should get dressed then,” she told me. “Arnold set me up in one of the guest rooms, so all my stuff is there.”

She turned and walked toward the door.

“Raya?” I called after her before she left; she paused and turned back to me. “I’m glad you’re here.”

…

Dr. Conway came to check on me a few times during the day; per orders of Sebastian. As the day went on, I found it difficult to stay in bed. My body was feeling weaker by the moment; my nausea was also returning slightly, and I figured if I got moving then it would go away.

Sebastian would be returning to the palace soon and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face him just yet. I wanted to go outside and get some air. I slid out of bed and made my way out of my room and down the stairs. I was greeted by some servants as I walked by; I went toward the back door. The cold air felt good on my warm skin; I felt like I could finally breathe.

I sat on one of the stone benches overlooking the beautiful rose garden. This was where Caroline enjoyed hanging out in her downtime. I couldn’t blame her; it was beautiful and quiet. It was also isolated so I knew no one would be able to see me. I wrapped my arms around my frigid body and allowed some tears to escape my eyes.

I placed my hands on my stomach and took in a steady deep breath. I couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I was pregnant by a man I wasn’t even sure I loved at this point; I didn’t know if I was drawn to him because I loved him or because of the mark he forcibly placed on my neck.

This must have been how my mother felt.

The silence was soon interrupted by something I wasn’t expecting to hear, and I jumped to my feet, startled.

“Meow.”