Chapter 125

Nathan POV

Unable to sleep after getting Claire’s letter, I paced for hours.

Could I truly have lost her before I even really got her back?

What could I do to make this right?

If we could just talk, I was sure she would see that I hadn’t meant any harm. And I certainly hadn’t meant to rush her.

The more I thought about it, the more angry I became.

If anything, making my feelings known was a good thing.

If nothing else, it might help get that fool Alpha Gavin away from her.

Who did he think he was, anyway?

And what was Claire doing, encouraging his foolish idea of courting her?

Finally, after a long sleepless night, I woke Andy and got him ready for school.

But when I dropped him off, I didn’t go to my office at pack headquarters like I usually would.

I called Beta Evan and instructed him to reschedule my appointments, and to pick Andy up from school.

I had business I needed to handle elsewhere, I told him.

And then I drove straight to the Royal city.

I arrived at the palace by evening, the white stone building glowing all the colors of the sunset as it towered over me.

For a moment I felt very small, faced with such grandness.

Who did I think I was, to just show up and demand to see the ruler who lived in this magnificent building?

But then I squared my shoulders.

I was her husband, and the father of her child. I was her mate.

And I needed to see her.

The servants made me wait inside the entrance of the palace while they went to tell Claire that I was there.

It was a wait that dragged on forever.

And the longer it went on, the more my anxiety returned.

What if she didn’t let me in?

Was she going to refuse to see me?

After coming all this way, was I going to have to turn around without even getting the chance to be in the same room with her?

The longer I waited, the more the yearning for Claire grew in my belly, my wolf growling inside of me with growing urgency.

I needed to see her.

I needed my mate.

Claire POV

I’d had another long day of running a clinic, running a pack, and running a country.

And ended it with yet another failed healing attempt on my father. Something that broke my heart every single time I tried.

No matter what I did, his coma continued on endlessly.

And I was beginning to feel like a failure.

Now I was nursing another killer headache, the pounding in my skull making it difficult to think.

“Princess, have you had anything to eat since you left this morning?” my assistant Megan asked.

I shook my head, then immediately regretted it. Even that small motion made the throbbing worse.

“I grabbed a sandwich for lunch,” I told her.

“Why don’t you let me call you up something to eat? A hot meal might help you with your pain.

“Please, Princess. You need to take care of yourself.”

She was right, I knew, but the idea of food soured my stomach. Nausea began to chase close behind the pain.

“I’ll eat something, I promise,” I told her. “Send for Dr. Baldwin first. I’m sure I’ll be hungry after a healing session.”

Dr. Baldwin was now a guest at the palace, so he could give me healing sessions both night and day if I needed them.

And lately I needed them nearly every single day.

But before Megan could leave, a servant knocked quietly on the door. She murmured something to Megan, who turned to me with a look of surprise on her face.

“Your highness, you have a visitor. Alpha Nathan is downstairs.

“He wants to talk to you.”

Nathan?

He was at the palace??

I put a hand to my stomach, feeling a sudden rush of mixed emotions.

I hadn’t been shy about telling him how I was feeling in the letter I wrote to him. In fact, I’d been very clear about how upset I was with him.

Had he come for a fight?

With the headache still making my head feel like it was about to burst, I was in no shape to have an argument.

And yet, mixed in with the hesitation and the concern was a deep longing.

We hadn’t seen each other since he spent the weekend here with Andy.

And the sudden opportunity to see him, to have him alone in my room, had a little unexpected curl of longing swirling in my belly.

I realized I wanted to see him, badly.

I wanted to see my mate.

“Bring him up,” I said, after a long moment of hesitation. “I’ll send for Dr. Baldwin and my meal later.”

Megan gave me a formal nod and then left the room to go get Nathan.

As I waited my nerves grew, until by the time he arrived they were tying me into knots.

Why was he here? What did he want?

I tried to brace myself for an argument.

But when he appeared in the doorway, looking so tall and handsome, all my thoughts and questions disappeared in a surge of relief and longing.

Inside me, my wolf sighed.

Mate, she said. Finally!

I watched the change come over Nathan’s face as he came into the room, shutting the door behind him.

His expression changed from polite to intense, from a slight smile to a laser-focused watchfulness.

And I saw in his eyes that he was feeling exactly what had just hit me:

The pull of our fated mate bond.

Unable to stop myself, I moved toward him at the same moment he began to cross the room toward me.

And then we were both rushing forward, nearly running, falling into each other’s arms.

Falling into a kiss that stole my breath.

The feel of his arms around me again, hard as steel and binding me against him, made me whimper.

The soft feel of his breath mingling with mine as our lips met made me moan.

For a moment, a long moment, I let myself give in to this terrible lust and longing.

I let myself remember what it was like to feel at home in Nathan’s arms.

This. This was where I belonged.

At last.

And yet…

I broke the kiss suddenly, stepping back and pushing Nathan away.

The motion left me feeling empty and hollow. But I had to do it.

I couldn’t let myself sink too deeply into Nathan’s embrace, or the hope for his love.

Not after everything that had happened.

I tried to catch my breath, and gather my thoughts.

All I wanted was to wrap my arms around Nathan again.

I wrapped them around myself instead.

“What do you want, Nathan?”

Nathan, breathing heavily, clearly struggled to focus.

“What?”

“Why are you here?”

He took a deep breath, and a step back from me.

I could tell the effort cost him.

And it helped, knowing we were both struggling against the same pull.

It made me feel guilty as well.

But I needed to protect myself.

“I-I came to apologize,” he said finally, straightening his shirt and suit jacket.

“I’m sorry I spoke in public about my intentions of courting you.”

He took a step closer, his gaze holding mine intently.

“But courting you is exactly what I want to do, Claire.

“I want you. I want to be with you. I want us to be together again.”

His words stole my breath.

Love rushed through me.

But so did worry, and fear.

Watching me intently, Nathan saw my hesitation.

And it hurt him.

“Nathan, I - I just need time to think,” I said, stumbling over some kind of explanation.

But how could I explain when I didn’t understand everything I was feeling?

His system still in an uproar from our kiss, Nathan’s expression hardened.

“Fine. Take your time.

“But you’ll need to come to me when you’re ready. I’m not going to keep chasing you around like some young pup.”

The hurt was quick and sharp, and I gasped.

And Nathan stormed out of the room.

Left alone, I realized I was shaking.

I wanted nothing more than to run after him, to throw myself back into my arms.

But I stopped myself.

What other choice did I have?

How could I trust someone who had once been so ashamed of me?

How could I forget the years of abuse and mistreatment I suffered at the hand of his pack?