Chapter 119

Claire POV

Dr. Baldwin came to see me in my private suite bright and early the next morning.

Early, anyway.

I was feeling anything but “bright.”

When Megan let him into the suite, he found me nursing a strong cup of tea.

It was my own blend of herbs, one I used for clearing the mind and aiding in clear thinking.

I was on my second pot.

I needed all the help I could get.

“How are you feeling, Princess?” he asked, accepting my offer of a cup of tea as he joined me on the sofa.

“Did you sleep well?”

“No,” I admitted. “I had another one of those nightmares. They’re so strange.”

I shook my head and struggled to find the right words.

“They’re so real, Baldwin. I don’t ever remember much by the time morning comes around. But I do have this sense that whatever is going on in them, it’s…It’s like it’s something I actually experienced.

“Like a memory.”

But as much as I tried to remember the nightmares, or access the memories they were showing me, I always came up blank.

“Hmm,” he said, thinking.

“You have had some very traumatic experiences in your life. Perhaps it makes sense that you’re having these difficulties now.”

I turned to him, interested. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you were separated from your family at a very early age. Then you were forced to live a life of abuse as an Omega in a pack you didn’t even truly belong to.

“Then you came back home, only to be forced to deal with a war, your father’s illness and an attack on your son.”

He looked at me kindly.

“That’s a lot of stress for one young woman to deal with. So, now that things are relatively calm, it makes sense to me that your mind and your body are finally starting to process everything you’ve been through.”

I set down my cup and turned to him. “So you think what’s happening to me is normal?”

“More or less. Like I said, you’ve been through a lot. It makes sense that you’re having some trouble dealing with it all.”

The idea that what was happening to me was all somehow a natural part of dealing with the stress I’d been through actually made a kind of sense.

And yet, I still worried that these nightmares and headaches were the sign of something else. Some disease, maybe.

“But…what if it’s not natural? What if there’s something else going on?”

“If it would make you feel better, I can go deeper during our healing session,” he said. “I’ll scan your mind, make sure nothing else is going on.”

Trusting him completely, I nodded eagerly.

I wanted to know what was going on inside my mind.

And I knew that if anyone could help me, it was going to be Dr. Baldwin.

Rising, Baldwin walked around the sofa until he stood behind me.

“Just relax,” he told me. “Close your eyes and empty your mind.”

I did as he asked, feeling his hands settle on my hand.

His cool touch immediately began to ease the tension already gathering in my shoulders.

For a long, quiet moment I floated in the calm and soothing light of his healing.

I could feel the pulse of his energy as he explored the upper reaches of my consciousness.

Then I felt it go deeper, slowly and carefully, level by level.

It made me think of rain seeping down through the earth.

I relaxed into something that felt very similar to the healing trance I’d been practicing during my father’s healing sessions.

And then I felt a blinding, stabbing pain that stole my breath.

I cried out, holding my head in my hands.

Dr. Baldwin stumbled back, shocked.

I turned to face him, and we stared at each other, completely stunned.

“What was that??” I cried, still holding my head, waiting for the pain to fade away.

“I-I don’t know. I’m so sorry, Princess. I had no idea something like that would happen.”

He hurried forward again, placing his hands over mine. His healing touch melted the last of the pain.

I dropped my hands and focused on catching my breath, and my balance.

That had happened so fast.

And it hurt so much.

I was beginning to be afraid of whatever was going on.

Dr. Baldwin sat down beside me again, looking just as pale and shaken as I felt.

“Please,” I said. “Tell me what happened, from your side of things. I need to understand what that was.

“I need to know what’s wrong with me.”

Dr. Baldwin shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Princess. You - you seem to have some sort of blockage.”

“A blockage? What does that mean?”

He grimaced. “It’s like…A wall, almost. Does that make sense?

“It’s like a wall is in your mind, surrounding a portion of your memories.”

He picked up his tea and gulped it down. “It was…quite a shock to come up against it.”

I thought about the sensation I experienced when I tried to enter my father’s subconscious. I had been thinking of it in exactly the same way Baldwin just described: like hitting a wall.

“And you think this is why I’m having these issues lately?”

Setting his cup back down, he nodded. “It certainly could explain your headaches, I think, and your troubling nightmares as well.

“Especially if the wall is beginning to crack or weaken.”

I shook my head, still amazed by what he was telling me.

“What could be causing it to weaken?”

He sat back, facing me. “Honestly I’m wondering if it didn’t begin the moment your healing abilities emerged.”

Thinking back to that time, when both my wolf and healing abilities finally revealed themselves, I realized it had felt very much like cracking open.

Maybe the wall really had begun to crack then too.

“And the more you’ve developed and pushed your powers, especially recently with your father, the closer it’s bringing you to that blockage in your mind.”

I’d been pushing myself harder and further than Dr. Baldwin knew.

Were my efforts to dive into my father’s strangely injured mind the reason this was all happening now?

“But what is it?” I pushed. “This wall, the nightmares, the headaches…

“What’s going on with my mind??”

“Princess…” Baldwin trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

“I hate to have to say it, but it seems like someone put that wall into place in your mind.

“Someone hid those memories from you, whatever they are, intentionally.”

I stared at him, dumbfounded.

“That - that can be done??” I whispered, horrified.

“Yes,” he said reluctantly. “By someone with abilities like ours, and only after years of practice. But…yes. It can be done.”

My heart sank, and my stomach clenched.

For the first time, I realized someone with abilities like my own or Dr. Baldwin’s could use those gifts to do something other than heal.

And for the first time I wondered: Could they use their abilities to actually do damage??

“I’m very sorry, Princess,” Baldwin said.

The look in his eyes was one of sympathy, and great sadness.

“Whatever that blockage is inside your mind, someone put it there on purpose.”